AIBU about DSIS or am I Bridezilla?

[MrsEight]

I have NC for this I am not a troll.

In a few weeks I get married for the second time.

My sister tbh is being a bit of a cow

She is coming from abroad (within the EU) but arriving 2 hours before the ceremony and leaving first thing the next morning as doesn’t want to take her (not secondary school age) children out of school. Had a bitch to my mum about why I wasn’t getting married during (their) school holidays - my STBOH is in the military and wouldn’t be here then.

In view of the military connection there will be several guests and groom in full military regalia. DSIS messages me asking if it’s ok for her children to come in jeans as have no smart trousers. I suggest this is a little casual as it’s a wedding.

I offer clothes that my own children have grown out of (DSIS is not hard up) she accepts, then declines then says she is borrowing clothes from someone.

Then there is another problem with clothes for the kids (after I ask what colour button holes to order) and I ask if there is some financial difficulty and can I help and she says no she is just trying to avoid spending a fortune on “just one day” ffs it’s my bloody wedding and they are family.

AIBU to think she’s being ridiculous - it’s a couple of pairs of trousers for two pre teens.

If someone told me my dc had to wear something they would not be comfortable in for their wedding, I would be grateful that I had a perfect excuse to give the whole thing a miss. Poor loves! They can only wear jeans or...what? Pyjamas? Kilt? Smart trousers are SO uncomfortable??

It will be a shock when they go into the workplace.

Dodosnest that's exactly it! Well done.

I'd still warn the photographer if they turn up on the day in jeans.
Photoshop a pair of trousers over their jeans - your sis will be soooooo pissed off when she sees that

dodosnest I agree, it could be anything the sister was moaning about, it's the fact she was making an issue out of it. The worst thing you can do to a bride to be is give them any more stress than they're already under.

Most of us have had invites to weddings when we've panicked about the cost, clothes etc, but we keep it to ourselves and don't make a big deal about it. By mentioning "the jeans" the sister was making sure the op knew she was putting her out.

Dodosnest, Scary and others - thank you

YANBU at all and I think you got some seriously duff answers here!

Just take a deep breath and ignore her offhandedness although I appreciate it's hurtful. By doing such a odd journey she's only going to make it unpleasant for herself (well, and her kids).

Loved this answer too:

I really really wanted the groom to attend the wedding - which is why we booked the date we did.

Bloody hell - only got up to page 4 of the thread....think you've had some really weird responses and I apologise if I'm repeating pp...

YANBU!

• Even if she is choosing to spend money to travel to attend your

wedding, surely some trousers won't break the bank

• You checked whether there was a problem financially and offered to

loan them some so not assuming she can afford it

• You are not having an "overseas" wedding unless pps think you

should have moved your wedding to the country your sister lives

• It does help to have the groom at the wedding
• Shame on pp making assumptions about your first husband and the

reason for a second marriage

Have a fab wedding day OP!!

I don't think you're being unreasonable to feel hurt and disappointed with her behaviour.
I can understand how it can be an issue to travel for a wedding but to be so difficult about finding a pair of trousers suitable or taking what you offered is really questionable.
My sister is getting married in six months and I postponed my actual Immigration so I could be at her wedding and will take my son out of school to be there.
I wouldn't miss it for the world nd if she asked me to wear green glittery leggings on HER day I would.
I think it's crazy that people here are even suggesting that it's fine for the kids to turn up in jeans.
What's not fine about making an effort for your own sisters wedding?

I'm an innocent man accused of adultery. I look guilty from my reactions and by association. But everything is no what it appears. A couple worker had a relationship with a woman I knew he then assume because she spoke of me to him that I to had a relationship with her. When he asked I'm not the type to indulge in degrading others so I didn't reply to his claims. He in turned spoke of his exploits to another woman whom would later become close to my wife and she shared that story. Now, I'm sitting here guilty because I didn't respond to his claims back when. So he continued to believe it was so. An now so does my wife.

Eh?

Op you didn’t answer are your nephews in the wedding party? If so then it should be yourself to provide wedding attire not your sister sorry if this isn’t the case.

Nexxtous wrong thread methinks!

OP YANBU and your DS sounds like she’s trying to play the victim a little. I suspect that she’d try to have a different problem about it if you had said yes to jeans.

Enjoy your lovely day and try not to strangle her!

DSis, not DS!

OP orry for the loss of your first DH
Wow your DSis sounds just lovely

If my DSis was getting married (especially when it’s her second wedding and the reason she is getting married for the second time is because her first DH died) I would walk on water to get to that wedding and would put something appropriate on DC not annoy her with my problems.

FWIW someone wore jeans to my wedding and it still annoys me.

*Sorry