WIBU me or DH?

[CurlyWurlyHairCoveredChocolate]

I won some money on a raffle, not a lot about £500.

I think we should use it to clear off two small debts we have; one's a credit card which has £200 left to pay on it and the other is an overdraft of about £180. I want to put the remaining towards DD (who's 2) Christmas presents, and get her something I know she really wants - it won't cost the whole £120 left but a good chunk of it. The rest will cover our Christmas Day food costs.

My DHs PS4 broke about 6 months ago - it's unrepairable so we sold it for spares and repairs. He's been going to my DMs to use my DBros or going to his friends to play theirs. He's been going a couple of times a week (I don't actually mind as I go swimming 3 times a week after work so this is his "leisure time"). He was very excited when I won the money, "I can finally replace the PS4" he says quite happily.

Personally, I know it's a pain but my DBro is out at work 4 nights a week and is happy for my DH to use his PS4 in that time, so I prefer the system we have, and I think the debts are a higher priority than his PS4. If he goes to his friends, they spend time together have a laugh and he says he enjoys going so again I don't mind.

I'm happy to be told IABU, but should we be boring and sensible or do I let my DH blow it all on an expensive console that neither me nor DD will benefit from?

YABU for still being married to him. He sounds like a complete idiot. For the love of god just pay off your debts and never consult him about financial decisions ever again.

We don't go out much as a family as he doesn't like being away from his games for too long.

Jesus wept.

Run the hell away from this man-baby.

I don't understand where the overdraft is from.

So the money actually went into your joint account but dh didn't transfer the Direct Debits over, meaning they debited his sole account and took him £2k overdrawn, and you've been paying that back.

But there was still the £2k that went into the joint account - where did that go?

I think you should tuck some away for emergencies, or leaving him in the future. Play kitchen + overdraft + secret saving for if it all goes wrong.

OK, so here we have it.
He openly admits he's addicted to his games but won't do anything about it because it's "his only thing outside of work". We don't go out much as a family as he doesn't like being away from his games for too long.
So tomorrow you do what any rational person would do, you go to the bank & pay off the debt. you pay off CC, you order DD kitchen set.
If he sulks, you tell him his gaming addiction is not a priority? & actually if he doesn't consider the sad place he's in & tries to get help, then the chances of your relationship surviving are nil.

His only thing outside work...

Apart from, you know, his wife and child.

Fucking selfish manchild prick.

If he hadn't stuffed up the overdraft you wouldn't have wasted £500ish in fees either. He sounds like a big kid. Your plans for YOUR money sound very reasonable.

Where's DD on swim days?
Does OP pause swimming to interact with DD?
Both sound like they get equal down time.
For a person 'addicted to gaming ' 3 nights a week in OP's Mum's house on OP's DB's console, well at least he's not cheating (unless he's got codes).

Are you addicted to swimming?

DD is in Nursery on the days I work so I just leave her the extra hour and half while I swim, Nursery never seem bothered that I do.

I'm not addicted as I do have weeks where I only go once or twice or if I'm ill not at all. I only go because a gym pass is included as part of my work so it's not costing me anything.

usually pretty good with DD but generally on a game at the same time, although he will pause it to change her nappy or get her something to eat.
Good grief if that's an example of good parenting then some people have some terribly low standards
Op he sounds like an utter child, and being very presumptuous with your money! Spend your money as you wish, your idea makes perfect sense.

OK that's fine then, he admits he has a gaming addiction, but as long as he's not cheating.....

Biggest issue here is a guy at 24 is young to have a 2 year old as a lot of guys are still so immature at that age. Heard a psychologist on TV say never move in with a guy under 30!!
I would buy myself something small out of the money as winning 500 is a rare event and to be celebrated. Your dp is fine to wish for a ps4 as long as he is happy to take no for an answer. Anyone can dream.

Oh dear.

I don't have a problem with anyone gaming (I do myself) when the grown-up part of your day is done.

He needs to pay far more attention to being a husband and a father or you are going to end up with two children.

This isn't good enough, it really isn't.

Biggest issue here is a guy at 24 is young to have a 2 year old

That is so not the biggest issue here.

Stop making excuses for shitty partners and fathers. Would you say the same about a 24 year old mother of a two year old?

Or are men 'different'?

Biggest issue here is a guy at 24 is young to have a 2 year old as a lot of guys are still so immature at that age.

Fuck that.

I haven't seen anyone not employing 24 year old men because they are still soooooo immature.
But, apparently, they are too immature to care for a child.

Again, fuck that.

24 is too young to have a child? Gosh if only there was a way for young men to not get women pregnant. Perhaps some sort of sheath to place over their tackle? Made of some sort of latex type material 🤔 Hmm, I'll have to get my thinking cap on and see if I can figure out a solution.

No one uses age as an excuse for a mother to be lazy and selfish with money, so why do we do it without men? Its the OPs money and she's been mature enough to not see it and go "yay, treat time for me!" She's paid bills and sorted Christmas for their child. Like a responsible parent.

He's selfish. I like gaming although hardly do it now I've got DCs, but I enjoy it when I do. He plays far too much. A new console is the last thing you should be buying with your money. I wouldn't have paid a penny towards that overdraft either. That was his doing.

Oh god I am cringing. Your 'D'H honestly sounds like a shit adult, a fairly crappy husband and a rubbish dad.
Be a grownup and pay off your debts!

Do he spends all his time playing his game.
He spent the money in the joint account for bills I'm guessing?
Now instead of paying his debts and treating his kid he wants to spoil himself.
Jesus christ get rid.

Why doesn't he sell the other 2 consoles? And yes debts come before luxuries!

PS4's are the work of the devil.
YA definitely NBU

If he sells his old consoles and any games he no longer plays I'd bet he'd have enough for a refurb ps4.

Dd has a ps4 that her uncles bought for her when she turned 21. It's great. We get Nowtv and Amazon prime through it and because it's connected directly to the router, there's no buffering.

"The automatic presumption that he would get to spend your winnings on himself and not you or your child would be enough for me to make sure he didn't get his hands on a penny of it."

THIS

PS4's are the work of the devil.
YA definitely NBU

Yeah I agree. Xbox all the way!