WIBU me or DH?

[CurlyWurlyHairCoveredChocolate]

I won some money on a raffle, not a lot about £500.

I think we should use it to clear off two small debts we have; one's a credit card which has £200 left to pay on it and the other is an overdraft of about £180. I want to put the remaining towards DD (who's 2) Christmas presents, and get her something I know she really wants - it won't cost the whole £120 left but a good chunk of it. The rest will cover our Christmas Day food costs.

My DHs PS4 broke about 6 months ago - it's unrepairable so we sold it for spares and repairs. He's been going to my DMs to use my DBros or going to his friends to play theirs. He's been going a couple of times a week (I don't actually mind as I go swimming 3 times a week after work so this is his "leisure time"). He was very excited when I won the money, "I can finally replace the PS4" he says quite happily.

Personally, I know it's a pain but my DBro is out at work 4 nights a week and is happy for my DH to use his PS4 in that time, so I prefer the system we have, and I think the debts are a higher priority than his PS4. If he goes to his friends, they spend time together have a laugh and he says he enjoys going so again I don't mind.

I'm happy to be told IABU, but should we be boring and sensible or do I let my DH blow it all on an expensive console that neither me nor DD will benefit from?

A toy kitchen that your daughter really wants is a great gift. I’m 35 and I still remember unwrapping my much wanted toy kitchen.

As an aside if you’d been paying into the joint account and paying the bills from his account surely the money, minus the associated costs, were available in the joint account?

Of course you're not being unreasonable. Is he angry at your for picking sensible over his PS4?

Also, elc have a lovely toy kitchen half price at the moment. £50 instead of £100.

I can heartily recommend the IKEA play kitchen, it’s lovely.

Your DH is a selfish arse. His priorities are all wrong. He would rather see his child go without at Christmas so he can buy something for himself. Not exactly going to win Father of the Year award is he?

To the pp who said they reported the thread - whatever for???? What's yout problem exactly?

Cex sell them for £165, he can save up the extra £20s from the overdraft.

Sounds like a really good set up
He prefers gaming to paying debts, could spend 4 nights a week out of the house gaming, while you are home with baby.. what does he do on the other nights? go to the pub ?
manages to pause console when it works, to change nappy...
What a guy

Why the actual fuck would you report this thread

I know it's not the point of the thread but the overdraft sounds dodgy to me, did neither of you notice there was no utilities coming out and therefore more money in your account? And surely it would mean that while one account was going overdrawn the other would have an excess, where did that excess go?

Anyway yanbu about your prize money. What did turn say when you told him you had other plans for it?

Nocabbage

Because people were starting to troll hunt. So MNHQ can check it out. So we aren't all wasting our time

Oh, and there's not fucking need to fucking swear at me. Alright?

Obviously YANBU OP but I can imagine things could backfire if you said "this is my winnings, I choose what to spend it on" because if he won £1000 next week he might say the same line to you before pissing it all up the wall, completely ignoring that you'd spent your winnings for the good of the family, and not on a toy for him. It seems like your priority is the family and his priority is him.

Also regarding the direct debit fuck up - that was his fault, why are you the only one fixing it? It sounds like you have a toddler DD and a teenaged son.

My DH used to play PS4 online before we had DD, but he realised he didn't have the time once DD was here and plays much less now.

Do you think he's an equal partner when he's at home? Is he present enough with DD? She will notice.

Pay off the debts start saving up for the PS4 - he can trade in and sell his old consoles and games, save up any Christmas money he personally gets...

Not rocket science?

He pauses his game to change a nappy or feed your DD and you think that makes him a good Dad? That's basic parenting! What else does he do? You really need to set your bar higher.

NitagainYoda where were people troll hunting?

And I will fucking swear wherever and whenever I fucking decide fucking swear dear

Do you think he's an equal partner when he's at home? Is he present enough with DD?

Yes he does talk to her, if she goes to him with a book or a toy he'll stop what he's doing and play with her. He takes her to Nursery on the 3 days I work so I can start earlier in order to be able to pick her up. He puts her to bed every other night and reads to her then as well.

He openly admits he's addicted to his games but won't do anything about it because it's "his only thing outside of work". We don't go out much as a family as he doesn't like being away from his games for too long.

Blimey, your bar for good parenting is low.

Pay off the debts.

Childish and selfish of your partner.

I still want to know what the 2 grand was spent on.

So you and your DD are second best to his games.

This is really upsetting actually. You have a small daughter with additional needs, you work and do 99% of the actual parenting while he sits on a games console and has somehow spunked 2k of bills money, and is now demanding you buy him a new toy instead of paying debts and treating your daughter.

He’s a cunt, love.

He needs to grow the fuck up. If you're having to use winnings to pay off a £380 debt, then you can hardly afford to prioritise expensive toys.

That is quite upsetting actually, that it is the responsibility of your 2 year old to initiate interaction with her Dad, otherwise she gets ignored.

I'd honestly LTB. You both sound as if you are playing at 'adulting'. The whole set up sounds odd.