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AIBU?

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Original poster

Daddy-daughter Date

195 replies

HarrietKettleWasHere · 15/10/2017 09:29

Ok, obviously I know this is an American concept/video but I was scrolling through Facebook this morning and one of my UK friends said he couldn't wait to do that with his baby daughter.

Isn't it a bit.....odd. I'm struggling to put my finger on exactly why but while it's obviously lovely to spend time with your kids one on one....why on earth would you put it in a 'date' catogory?! A small child doesn't need to know how to date Confused

AIBU to think this is totally weird? A lot of the comments are things like 'I'm going to make sure my husband does this with our little girl so she knows how a lady should be treated!'

Can't you just advise her when the time comes rather than dress up having your tea together as a bloody date? It is weird isn't it or am I being really awful and everyone thinks it's a lovely concept Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
HarrietKettleWasHere · 15/10/2017 19:26

Have you watched the video, Montacute?

OP posts:
Montacute · 15/10/2017 19:54

Yes.

TerracottaTurtles · 15/10/2017 20:42

Here's another one following the same format

So the OP's video and this one must be using actors.

Glitterbug76 · 16/10/2017 17:29

Date day !! Wtf I take my daughter and I've taken my step daughter out I've called it a girly day
If I go out with my hubby for night out it's called a miracle ! Joke
We don't call it a date night , why has face book turned everything into an event !!
I'm not on face book but I went a hen party recently and the photo taking lasted 3 hours !!!

irregularegular · 16/10/2017 17:33

It's never a "date" when a mother takes her child to the park is it?

I agree that this sends all the wrong messages.

avamiah · 16/10/2017 17:52

I don't like the sound of "date".
It just sounds weird .

Someonessnackbitch · 16/10/2017 18:02

Agree. It's cringey

Aeroflotgirl · 16/10/2017 18:02

It is very inappropriate, its not a date ffs, its spending time with your child. I know a couple of mums say they are going on a date with their young son ewwww.

simiisme · 16/10/2017 18:05

I find it creepy and vom-inducing. They really should stop calling them 'dates' Shudder...
Say, 'I'm taking my daughter out for afternoon tea / dinner as a treat.'
I wouldn't dream of saying I'm going out on a date with either of my sons.

Lunde · 16/10/2017 18:11

I find it really creepy and odd. I mean it is fine to spend time with your kids but calling it a "date" seems to take it to a much more creepy level.

It seems to be a thing among certain Christian family values groups along with chastity promises etc. I saw this article yesterday that was advocating a 14 year old "dates" daddy
www.uexpress.com/focus-on-the-family/2017/10/15/father-daughter-dates-can-help-teen-see

Aeroflotgirl · 16/10/2017 18:12

That clip really is quite worrying, its sexualising what should be an innocent time of dad spending time with his young daughter, not dressing it up as a date. A date is what unrelated adults and teenagers who are attracted to one another physically and sexually go on, not parents and children.

HolyShmoly · 16/10/2017 18:14

Someone may have already commented this, but I have seen on Pinterest or somewhere where the woman brings her son out on a date and makes him pay to show him how to treat a lady.
It's equally batshit.

LuckLuckLUCK · 16/10/2017 18:15

'Date' sounds weird because a particularly good date often ends in sex.

DeltaWave · 16/10/2017 18:16

Ask my young DD what activities she most likes doing with her dad and she'd say:

Going on her bike.
Painting.
Making cakes.
Going to the cinema.
Playing football.
Feeding the ducks.
Playing story games.

NOT getting dressed up, wearing makeup and going on a "date".

This is both misogynistic and inappropriate for a child of her age. It's nothing to do with it being sexualised, but rather it's so bad because it instils in tiny girls the idea that the most important relationship they can have with a man, and the best way of gaining validation from a man, is to be their "special princess". No. Just no.

I bet this sort of thing is popular with the Conservative Christian / alt-right Trump-voters of the US, where "respecting women" means putting the Stepford Wives on a pedestal and treating all other women like crap.

StealthPolarBear · 16/10/2017 18:16

Presumably men like this wear a suits and bring flowers when they have a daddy/son date too?...

Pajamagirl · 16/10/2017 18:16

Creepy , sexualising , date has romance connotations . It's weird

Spend time with your children ( and a thought - does mummy go on a date with ds ? ) build their self esteem , support them , parent them but do not ' date' them.

StealthPolarBear · 16/10/2017 18:23

Bloody hell.

StealthPolarBear · 16/10/2017 18:25

I'm so pleased my parents/dad made a fuss of me, took me out for meals etc as their daughter and left the "dating" to other people. The two do not mix!

Ttbb · 16/10/2017 18:27

Americans are just weird though

CherriesInTheSnow · 16/10/2017 18:32

Haven't read comments so sure this has been mentioned before but why is that weird? I think it's a lovely sentiment, he obviously has no untoward motives for goodness sake and they do call get togethers with other children "play dates" so it's obviously more related to that than a romantic evening for couples... Cannot get worked up or creeped out about this.

StealthPolarBear · 16/10/2017 18:33

Do you think he gives his son flowers or is nervous about a date with his son?

DiegoMadonna · 16/10/2017 18:33

does mummy go on a date with ds

I was wondering the same thing. I googled "mommy son date" and there were actually tons of results. So maybe the US are not discriminative in their weirdness in this instance.

CherriesInTheSnow · 16/10/2017 18:35

Oooh damn maybe I should have watched the video, but don;t really fancy it - I thought he was just taking her out somewhere and people were zoning in on the "date" terminology Blush Yeah it's weird take her to the park or something.

1DAD2KIDS · 16/10/2017 18:41

When I can I find time to spend one on one time with both my boy and my girl. Do something special just the two of us and bond.

Sorry to sound miserable but not to sure of the date thing to show a little girl how a ' lady should be treated'. How should a woman be treated. With common respect and curtesy yes, as should we all. But don't we have to be careful of teaching our daughters that a mans role is to treat a woman as a princess? That the 'prince' is there to serve her, provide for her and treat her like a precious gem? Likewise should we teach our boys this is the way to treat our women?