Daddy-daughter Date

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

Ok, obviously I know this is an American concept/video but I was scrolling through Facebook this morning and one of my UK friends said he couldn't wait to do that with his baby daughter.

Isn't it a bit.....odd. I'm struggling to put my finger on exactly why but while it's obviously lovely to spend time with your kids one on one....why on earth would you put it in a 'date' catogory?! A small child doesn't need to know how to date

AIBU to think this is totally weird? A lot of the comments are things like 'I'm going to make sure my husband does this with our little girl so she knows how a lady should be treated!'

Can't you just advise her when the time comes rather than dress up having your tea together as a bloody date? It is weird isn't it or am I being really awful and everyone thinks it's a lovely concept

Very true that a certain thread of American fathers wear T-shirts about having a daughter and a gun. (American here). It's only a matter of time before they make there way here, ya'll.

It's been a 'thing' (an American thing) for a long time now, I remember threads about it years ago.

It's hideous. Sexualising and grim. Generally the Mom preparing the daughter for it - dressing her up pretty & priming her for the 'date' then handing her over to the father. It makes me feel quite ill. Seriously. It's just feels like grooming & sexualisation by both her parents.

It is FAR from Daddy & Daughter just spending time together.

Well look. It's America. Huge swathes of the country are basically a bit bizarre aren't they?

Museum hopefully you DH will (in time!) get some Grandaughters to spoil 😊 In the meantime, remind him you're available to be spoiled 😊

Wanting to get dressed up nicely and go out for dinner with your DD is fine, it's the 'date' element that fucking creepy. Knocking in the front door, bringing her a single rose, acting like a 'date'. Massively fucking creepy. Eugh.

Creepy as hell. If I suggested this to dh he'd think I'd gone mad.

He's out with dd2 right now, it's called parenting, not a date.

Bleugh

Yes Yoda. Though I dare say we're not allowed to say that anymore 🤣

Lots of individual Americans are perfectly sane lovely people, I feel for them having to live amongst the utterly batshit ones.

Me too.

My DH parents my dd. They go to the cinema occasionally together, or he takes her to get a new pair of jeans if I'm too busy.

Out of interest, why will he only take her for new jeans if you’re too busy? If he parents as you say, then why does it default to you, and he gets a round of applause for doing “your job” if you can’t?

I think this is why such crap as “dates” come about. Men don’t take their dd’s shopping or other such “girly” persuits, that’s wifework. So they have to carve out non “girl” time in order to spend time together.

It’s reinforcing sexism again, that boys and girls inherently like different activites.

My dh took dd for a haircut the other day, without asking or consulting me. They were passing, there was a slot, it needed done. My mums, and other people’s response is to be horrified, “men” don’t know about female hair, i should have been there in case he got it wrong. Apparently i was “lucky” that the hairdresser was a good one. Dh is more than capable of realising an 8 year old girl does not need a barber and a short back and sides, and dd is more than capable of asking for what she wants.

It's inappropriate terminology, damaging to girls' perception of themselves and their value, and frankly gross.

Couldn’t finish watching the video it’s beyond creepy and icky.
They played all the cliches for a romantic date but with a toddler as one of the protagonists. It’s fucking wrong.

Terracotta

Just what you posted and I hate date night too for married couples.

It's the difference between paternal and paternalistic

He's the sort of twat who doesn't think about stuff affecting women until he has an ickle pwincess to look after, and then he'll beat up the guy

Donald Trump would love to date his adult daughter

Bleaurgh

OH is out with DD right now. Out for softplay and then lunch. Sunday is their day. It’s not a fucking date,it’s him being a parent and plating football,going swimming,softplay,shopping etc.

Nomad:

I want my DD to learn how she should expect to be treated by the way her father treats me

Exactly. I have sons, and I want my sons to learn how to treat women from how my DH treats me. So far so good (they are teens)

Wanting to get dressed up nicely and go out for dinner with your DD is fine, it's the 'date' element that fucking creepy. Knocking in the front door, bringing her a single rose, acting like a 'date'. Massively fucking creepy. Eugh.

Yep. Also the dad taking much care in getting ready, with the help of his brother (?) and being nervous.

I feel pretty certain this video must be linked either by viewership or production to the Promisekeepers nonsense, where a girl pledges to her father to remain pure until marriage. I might have that wrong, the pledge might be to God, but the father is somehow involved in The Promise.

It's SOOOO creepy. Teaching the little lady how a real man should treat her. Um, raise her to have self respect and she can work that out for herself. She may not choose a man remotely like dear daddy. Yuck.
Yes, it's great to have one-to-one time with your child but to tart it up into soemthing quasi romantic makes my flesh crawl.

museum

Yes is that the silver ring thing and dads are involved with the pledge?

Stomach churning

Cringeworthy and yes, why's he nervous about spending time with his own daughter? Pure cheese. At first I thought he was gay and the other guy was his boyfriend, maybe left the family home and hadn't seen her in a while. Then he walks up to the same front door, blew that theory out.

Yes it's very odd.

But there's a creepy undercurrent to many things in American culture to do with sex/love/ marriage that I really don't like.

It's not a 'date', it's spending time with your child.

There are YouTube videos showing daddy/daughter purity balls.

Purity balls. Purity balls. There are images in my head. They are not attractive

On another note: am I supposed to have "mummy/son" dates with my DSs? Because I don't think they'll want that.

But there's a creepy undercurrent to many things in American culture to do with sex/love/ marriage that I really don't like.

It's true, the religious extremists have a lot of clout there. I lay this at the feet of the ACLU and their relentless pursuit of a wholly secular public space.

True, my DD watches Girl Meets World and while there are lots of useful moral tales included, there are also some slightly creepy dad/daughter moments that make for uncomfortable viewing for me. Special daddy/daughter dances and all the territorial pissing over boyfriends etc which doesn't come from the mum, it's all about over protective dads wanting to keep their baby girls locked up.

keeponworking "So there's not a corresponding 'Mommy Son Date' then?"

Did you see the photos of Victoria Beckham and her son Brooklyn the other day? They were having dinner in New York and she was draped all over him as if they were lovers! It looked really weird.

Weird as fuck.

Please let it not spread.

This is so wrong. As if a girl should hang about for crumbs of attention from her father which he only bestows on her when she is all prettied up. So damaging