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Original poster

Daddy-daughter Date

195 replies

HarrietKettleWasHere · 15/10/2017 09:29

Ok, obviously I know this is an American concept/video but I was scrolling through Facebook this morning and one of my UK friends said he couldn't wait to do that with his baby daughter.

Isn't it a bit.....odd. I'm struggling to put my finger on exactly why but while it's obviously lovely to spend time with your kids one on one....why on earth would you put it in a 'date' catogory?! A small child doesn't need to know how to date Confused

AIBU to think this is totally weird? A lot of the comments are things like 'I'm going to make sure my husband does this with our little girl so she knows how a lady should be treated!'

Can't you just advise her when the time comes rather than dress up having your tea together as a bloody date? It is weird isn't it or am I being really awful and everyone thinks it's a lovely concept Grin

OP posts:
CecilyP · 15/10/2017 12:02

None of them have sexual meanings so why should 'daddy daughter dates'?

Well for starters you do not have to make that kind of date arrangement with someone who lives in the same house as you (any more than you arrange play dates for your kids to play out with the neighbours kids). But secondly, the entire video had the all the trappings of a romantic first date.

Winebottle · 15/10/2017 12:02

Its weird in parts such as the turning up at the door and the 'you will always be her first love' but it is not sexual. The dressing up, having lemonade and playing is nice.

People live hectic lives. Maybe she has 4 siblings and her Dad works long hours. In that situation, you have to make an effort to set time aside for 1 on 1 quality time or it won't happen. Life will get in the way. This way she gets to have a great time with her Dad, she feels special and it is something for them both to look forward to. I don't see anything wrong with calling it a date as a short hand.

WyfOfBathe · 15/10/2017 12:03

DH and I have daddy-daughter dates and mummy-daughter dates with our DDs. The words seem normal to me, but I grew up in a fairly American community.

We don't treat it like a romantic date, though. That video makes me very uncomfortable.

Theresamayscough · 15/10/2017 12:03

Vomit inducing

Hulababy · 15/10/2017 12:03

Hate the idea of a date; like the idea of individual parent and child time. Dh and 15y Dd have time out together. They both love the cinema and go together fairly regularly. If dh doesn't had a local client in a morning him and Dd go out for breakfast together before school. Or they have the odd day together if Dd has Inset and dh takes the day off. They enjoy it. Me and Dd get loads of time together simply as I also have school holidays off work.

But it's not a date in any way shame or form. It's just the two of them spending time together, daddy and daughter. They've done the same since she was little but more so now she's older and they have a common interest (films) which I don't really share.

The whole date aspect of it on the video is horrible imo.

AbsentmindedWoman · 15/10/2017 12:04

Cringeworthy and creepy to call it a 'date' and also frustrating because the intentions are good - most of these guys are going to be genuinely paternally besotted with their wee daughters, but it's so misguided to express it like this.

Misguided again to think you can teach your kids to spot a wrong'un from their manners when they take you on a date. Plenty of wolves in sheeps clothing around with impeccable manners, who say all the right things, who are possessive and controlling or unfaithful etc.

Then there's the minority of crap dads who are doing it as a sort of performance Disney dad thing, I imagine.

flyingspaghettimonster · 15/10/2017 12:11

Whilst I think daddy daughter dances etc here are weird and dislike the idea in general - Americans use play date etc all the time and the word date itself isn't
The gross part about these things. For me it is the flowers and idea that you need to take your kid out without their other parent so the kid feels special and loved...

LandofTute · 15/10/2017 12:11

There's the Purity Balls as well in the US. Where the "girls make a pledge to ‘remain pure and live pure lives before God,’ to stay sexually abstinent until marriage. Their fathers sign a commitment undertaking to protect their daughter’s purity.“
m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5255904

RebelRogue · 15/10/2017 12:14

Why does feeling special have to mean roses,dressing up,getting ready,ringing the door bell ffs?
They're little girls not grown women!

Winebottle · 15/10/2017 12:15

@AbsentmindedWoman I agree with that. I know in America they have more of a culture of romantic gestures but I think men who buy large bunches of roses, pull out chairs at restaurants, open car doors etc are more likely to be knocking their partners about at home than those who don't. What are they trying to prove by doing that?

BelligerentGardenPixies · 15/10/2017 12:19

The whole concept is inappropriate sexualising, and actually also enforcing a stupid message that a woman's self esteem is entirely dependent on romantic interactions, so a father needs to mimic one to build it.

Fathers build their daughter's self esteem every day, by taking them seriously, treating them with respect, encouraging them to have opinions, to explore their own abilities and feel secure in their parents' love. That's how to teach your daughter how she should be treated.

The idea of reducing all that to frilly dresses and a meal out makes me feel truly depressed.

^ This x 1000.

milbracat · 15/10/2017 12:22

You do all realise that (from the video's description box) that the entire "date" is a staged advertisement for an insurance company. The guy feigning nervousness is to set the viewers up for the surprise that the date is his own young daughter.

Yes, it seems overly sentimental, but most posters are taking themselves too seriously and reading to much into it, finding offence and outrage at anything. The DM would be proud of you all! Grin

NotAgainYoda · 15/10/2017 12:28

millbracat

Ah yes. The DM. From whom we all seek validation

RebelRogue · 15/10/2017 12:29

@milbracat if you look around a bit you will find plenty of blogs,videos and pictures of the same thing (tha are not advertisements) and the all follow the same creepy script.

HolgerDanske · 15/10/2017 12:30

I've not watched the video. But this is a thing in America, along with the horrid purity balls and other really deeply unpleasant things laced with misogyny.

And it is not at all about taking oneself too seriously. You are free to hold that opinion, naturally, but conversely I am free to hold you in contempt for your mocking tone, which belies either stupidity and woeful shortsightedness, or wilful ignorance. You might be relaxed about the deeply unpleasant ideas that many, many people have about women and sex but I am not. I take the reality of the world in which I and my daughters, and all women, live in very seriously indeed.

RainbowsAndCrystals · 15/10/2017 12:30

This is so wrong. As if a girl should hang about for crumbs of attention from her father which he only bestows on her when she is all prettied up. So damaging

How you even came to that conclusion is odd.

Meh. I can't get worked about that video. Yes it's sickly sweet, but the posters trying to sexualise it have some sick minds tbh.

HolgerDanske · 15/10/2017 12:38

Ugh, should not be belies in that sentence as that doesn't make sense at all! Am not a native English speaker so once in a while I do get it wrong. I have no idea which word I meant to use, but I'm sure you get the drift!

It's just wrong to lay all those things onto a father/daughter relationship. It's a facet of American culture that I find deeply, deeply wrong and unsavoury.

milbracat · 15/10/2017 12:43

I am free to hold you in contempt for your mocking tone, which belies either stupidity and woeful shortsightedness, or wilful ignorance.
So you think that those who disagree with you are ignorant and stupid?

You admit you've not seen the video, but that doesn't seem to stop you having an opinion on it, basing that opinion on other things. You are the one being ignorant.

HolgerDanske · 15/10/2017 12:46

People who disagree with me on this are either stupid and shortsighted on this issue and the cultural aspects that feed into it or willfully ignorant, yes. That opinion may offend you, but that is my opinion.

I don't need to watch this specific video to know exactly what it is and what it represents.

Montacute · 15/10/2017 12:49

Shlocky sentimental tripe like that makes me cringe inside out. It's weird to be so invested in your toddler's future romantic life.

Vom.

Redglitter · 15/10/2017 12:49

lots of people say friend date or mate date. two male friends going out is often called a man date..

I've never heard of any of those. A man date??? Really I can't imagine any man I know referring to going out with a friend as that

upperlimit · 15/10/2017 14:07

"Hey mate, it's a big night, are you nervous?".

"Yeah. I've gotta be honest, it's been a while".

Oh, no. No aping of a sexualised relationship here. This is just the type of thing you also say when getting dressed up for a man date too. Move along please.

MuseumOfCurry · 15/10/2017 14:58

Hang on. Men get nervous when they're getting 'dressed up' for a man date?

The platonic kind?

Grin
Maroonie · 15/10/2017 18:45

I do know people who say man date and I've used the term myself!
But I did add that I didn't watch the video and was commenting purely on the phrase.
I wasn't commenting on the video and just to confirm there is no dressing up or gifts or picking up from the door in the man dates I am referring too!

Montacute · 15/10/2017 18:53

Are you sure they weren't talking about mandates?

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