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AIBU?

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Original poster

Daddy-daughter Date

195 replies

HarrietKettleWasHere · 15/10/2017 09:29

Ok, obviously I know this is an American concept/video but I was scrolling through Facebook this morning and one of my UK friends said he couldn't wait to do that with his baby daughter.

Isn't it a bit.....odd. I'm struggling to put my finger on exactly why but while it's obviously lovely to spend time with your kids one on one....why on earth would you put it in a 'date' catogory?! A small child doesn't need to know how to date Confused

AIBU to think this is totally weird? A lot of the comments are things like 'I'm going to make sure my husband does this with our little girl so she knows how a lady should be treated!'

Can't you just advise her when the time comes rather than dress up having your tea together as a bloody date? It is weird isn't it or am I being really awful and everyone thinks it's a lovely concept Grin

OP posts:
WinchestersInATardis · 15/10/2017 09:54

I find the date terminology a bit weird but I do this with my DS sometimes.
Every now and then I'll say I think we should have a 'Mum and DS' day, and we decide on something special to do together whether it's going out somewhere interesting and dressing up, or just staying in and having a board games marathon.
It's so easy to get caught up in everyday school and activities and chores that it's nice to take a dedicated break and just enjoy spending time together.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/10/2017 09:56

I think it comes from the same disgusting creepy mindset as the Father-Daughter Purity stuff. Basically reinforcing the idea that a little girl's sexuality belongs to her father.

(Obviously nothing wrong with the idea of dads and daughters spending time together - an involved, loving dad is often a factor in a girl growing up knowing that decent men exist and that she is loved and valued.)

BitOutOfPractice · 15/10/2017 09:57

It makes me roll my eyes a bit

But then I hate the term "play date" that seems to be ubiquitous here.

Clawdy · 15/10/2017 09:57

Bit of over reaction to the word "date" here. No one seems to mind using the term "play date" or feels it has any connotations , do they?

badbadhusky · 15/10/2017 09:58

Its sexualising and fucking disgusting.

Yeah, grim. Also smacks of grooming - whether it's for a dodgy parent with harmful intent or a lifetime of pegging your sense of value on what some bloke thinks about you. Either way its a horrible idea.

CakesRUs · 15/10/2017 10:01

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

sukitea · 15/10/2017 10:03

If you think that is weird, have you heard of the purity pact/promise that a girl makes with her father, he gives her a purity ring and a very bizarre pseudo wedding (him being the groom!) and upon marriage the ring is transferred to her husband. There are YouTube videos showing daddy/daughter purity balls.

maddiemookins16mum · 15/10/2017 10:03

Date and Daddy are two words that really don't belong together.

LittleLionMansMummy · 15/10/2017 10:03

Eww the video is cringe.

But I'm going to hold my hand up and say that I have a weekly 'dinner date' with my children. Ok, so it's shorthand for 'quality time' but in my case refers to the fact that as I work ft there's one day every week I make sure I take my dc out for dinner, just me and them. It's the same time every week, so it's a date in the truest sense.

sukitea · 15/10/2017 10:04

Cross posted with Reanimated

TheSleeperandTheSpindle · 15/10/2017 10:05

It’s grim.

It feels like you’re teaching girls that you are only worth spending time with if you wear a pretty dress. Also people saying ‘showing her how a lady should be treated’ Urgh, people should treat others nicely, not women being treated like a different species.

Smacks of all that Daddy/Daughter virginity stuff. A woman’s sexuality doesn’t belong to her father for fuck’s sake Hmm

Nomad86 · 15/10/2017 10:05

Not sure why dads are so applauded just for spending time with their own kids.

I want my DD to learn how she should expect to be treated by the way her father treats me, and she should settle for nothing less. I hope both my DC learn the dynamics of a healthy relationship from the example we set. Taking your daughter on a date is totally unnecessary. Am I meant to take my ds on a date as well? To be fair, he's 1 so he wouldn't hog the conversation and would definitely be up for taking the leftovers home so maybe I should.

CamperVamp · 15/10/2017 10:06

LittleLion: that's great. Quality Family Time!

We await your schmaltzy cheesy video about it Grin

Coffeetasteslikeshit · 15/10/2017 10:06

OMG, that video is creepy as fuck! Wrong on so many levels.

The way it's done, to make it seem like he's going on a real date at first... ugh.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 15/10/2017 10:07

If a guy is nervous about spending one to one time with his Dd he needs to step the fuck up! Honestly this is just weird. I feel the importance of spending time with each child separately but why can't this guy just take his DD to the park or for a picnic without all the dressing up and flowers bullshit? Just very odd.

SensitiveOldAgeGuy · 15/10/2017 10:08

A song is playing in my head.

"Eighteen Yellow Roses" by Bobby Darin.

I didn't realize there was anytthing sinister in it.

AccidentalyRunToWindsor · 15/10/2017 10:09

Puke.

My DH spends time with his children doing things that interest them both. That includes gigs, active stuff, going for breakfast etc

I can just imagine my 15 year old DSD face if her dad suggest they go on a 'date'

FenceSitter01 · 15/10/2017 10:09

As opposed to 'having a girly day' with your daughter? nail, hair, shopping etc?

Honestly some people just moan about anything.

Meanwhile, next tread up will be 'my abusive DP and the way he speaks to our daughter'

Onecall · 15/10/2017 10:09

Hate it. I would never use play date or date night either and tbh no one I know uses those terms either. I have only ever seen them on here thank god.

LittleLionMansMummy · 15/10/2017 10:17

CamperVamp my video is more likely to go like this:

Ds, go and get your jumper. Put your shoes on. Put your shoes on. Put your bloody shoes on or we can't go out! Stop annoying your sister, she doesn't like that. Stop doing that. Stop doing that to her, for the love of god! Now, where did I put your swimming things and dd's water cup?

Our house resembles a Michael McIntyre show. Every. Single. Day.

JoanLenin · 15/10/2017 10:18

Weird. It's the creepy American dad who seems to invest a bit too much into his daughter. It's when they want to scare off and/or murder any boy who takes an interest in their teenage daughter. And they are proud of it! I've even seen t-shirts made for these creeps with printed slogans like I have a daughter and I have a gun or some similar shit.
I am thinking, are you in love with your daughter, you creep?

ThaliaLuxurySpa · 15/10/2017 10:20

"Fathers build their daughter's self esteem every day, by taking them seriously, treating them with respect, encouraging them to have opinions, to explore their own abilities and feel secure in their parents' love. That's how to teach your daughter how she should be treated."

Youcanstay nailed it.

Parker231 · 15/10/2017 10:20

It’s an American idea we don’t need bringing here. It’s in the same category as Baby Showers.

MuseumOfCurry · 15/10/2017 10:21

Memorialising a normal parental activity and posting it on FB is the fast track to wankerdom. Having said that, the daddy daughter date as captured in this video is not normal (if you haven't watched, DO!!!).

My husband, bless his heart, would have loved a daughter (only boys here) and I know he'd have been terribly chuffed for them to get dressed up and go to dinner a deux.

keeponworking · 15/10/2017 10:22

So there's not a corresponding 'Mommy Son Date' then?

If there were both it wouldn't be as odd and therefore means it has everything to do with the male-father > female-daughter relationship and just rather odd if you ask me.