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Daddy-daughter Date

195 replies

HarrietKettleWasHere · 15/10/2017 09:29

Ok, obviously I know this is an American concept/video but I was scrolling through Facebook this morning and one of my UK friends said he couldn't wait to do that with his baby daughter.

Isn't it a bit.....odd. I'm struggling to put my finger on exactly why but while it's obviously lovely to spend time with your kids one on one....why on earth would you put it in a 'date' catogory?! A small child doesn't need to know how to date Confused

AIBU to think this is totally weird? A lot of the comments are things like 'I'm going to make sure my husband does this with our little girl so she knows how a lady should be treated!'

Can't you just advise her when the time comes rather than dress up having your tea together as a bloody date? It is weird isn't it or am I being really awful and everyone thinks it's a lovely concept Grin

OP posts:
Shockers · 15/10/2017 11:13

I often have short holidays with one, or the other of my kids. I take them to the theatre or cinema separately, if it's something that appeals to one, but not the others. I meet DS2 very often for lunch in town.

Does this mean I'm dating them, or does it only apply to dads and daughters?

Yeuch.

CecilyP · 15/10/2017 11:14

That’s made me feel really queezy. Just so inappropriate. Dad used to take me out to the swing park, the cinema, to a museum etc. What he didn’t do was get dressed up, knock on the front door of his own house or present me with flowers. And he sure didn’t feel the slightest bit nervous! The whole thing is not only ridiculous but downright creepy.

RainbowsAndCrystals · 15/10/2017 11:17

What about play date?

Are you implying that it's romantic there as well?

TheMotherOfAllBeeches · 15/10/2017 11:19

Its not how we’d do it but I do think it’s a good idea for a father to show their daughter how they SHOULD be treat by men and date is just a word, everyone knows there is no romance in this situation so I don’t see the harm.

CecilyP · 15/10/2017 11:23

Never used playdate myself, but the word ‘date’ is not the problem. In many cases it is just a synonym for arrangement. The video looks like a pretend romantic date; that is the problem!

HolgerDanske · 15/10/2017 11:24

You show your children how they should be treated primarily in how you conduct yourself with their mother or father. You show it by being respectful of their person even when the are a child and by listening and caring.

You don't show it by typical 'grand' gestures that a) actually mean very little and b) feed very nicely into many misogynistic myths and ways of looking at things.

ShellyBoobs · 15/10/2017 11:25

Christ. What a load of vomit-inducing crap!

What's wrong with doing 'normal' dad and daughter things? Why make it seem that females need to dress up in pretty dresses to garner attention?

Yuck.

RebelRogue · 15/10/2017 11:28

@TheMotherOfAllBeeches a girl doesn’t need to learn how to be treated by men by how her Father treats her. It’s completely different dynamics and i find it a bit fucked up when people say that.
She can learn though by how he treats her mother and their relationship.

TheMotherOfAllBeeches · 15/10/2017 11:30

I do agree that it’s shown through how a man is with his wife / partner but at the same time I think it’s important a father makes a daughter feel special and show her she deserves to be treat well too - the ‘first date’ way they’ve portrayed in the video is weird though.

itisasmallworldisntit · 15/10/2017 11:31

If people think the use of the word date means that this is sexualising it... What are your thoughts on play dates?

BadTasteFlump · 15/10/2017 11:37

It's not yuck, it's just that in the US the word 'date' has much wider connotations (family from US).

Family/friends of mine are always having 'play dates', 'mommy dates' (ie school mums night out), etc. None of them have sexual meanings so why should 'daddy daughter dates'?

People need to pull their heads out of their arses. Different countries use words differently, get over it.

HolgerDanske · 15/10/2017 11:37

A play date is an arrangement between two or more peers, a time and place to play.

As it happens I can't stand that term either. But the two scenarios are vastly different.

HolgerDanske · 15/10/2017 11:38

It's the context rather than just the title that makes it creepy.

CamperVamp · 15/10/2017 11:39

Oh, I get that 'date ' in the US use of the word is not sinister in any way.

But to many UK tastes the whole thing is cheesy and saccharine.

itisasmallworldisntit · 15/10/2017 11:41

I think a lot of mumsnetters always want to see the worst in every situation.

RebelRogue · 15/10/2017 11:41

@BadTasteFlump watch the video,maybe the word would not be so bad on it's own,but the people doing it insist in associating it with romantic and sexist imagery,cliches and bullshit.

A dad nervous to spend time with his daughter?
Dressing up in a suit?
Needing "help" to look perfect?
Ring at the door for her?
Red roses?

Come on.

CamperVamp · 15/10/2017 11:41

But I find 'girly' nights in or days out with children that focus on clothes, nails, scented anything equally toe-curling. It's all so stereotyping.

Quality time (girly time) with my Dds is as likely to include a camping / mountain walking trip.

FlandersRocks · 15/10/2017 11:47

Ew it's more than cringy it's gross.

The way the video is done is in really bad taste too. The two guys together being all boyish...'Big night tonight!' and 'yeah it's been a while'.

That brings to mind one thing that they're talking about and tea with your five year old bloody daughter is not it 🤢

scottishdiem · 15/10/2017 11:54

It is weird but it is the US so probably loses a lot of cultural references. I mean, the US has Purity Balls which are totally fucked up. This video is tame and fun by comparison.....

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 15/10/2017 11:56

Oh god, that video was the most cringeworthy thing I've watched in a long time, so much so I just couldn't get right to the end of it. Right up until the door opens you'd think he was getting ready for a romantic liason with a sexually mature adult woman who he hopes to impress enough to fuck (hence the suit and red rose).

But besides that, it's all a bit "Disney Dad" too isn't it. I mean, spending time with your kids isn't something that should be considered above and beyond the call of duty, yet this video is making him out to be some super dad. No mate, it's called parenting and should be your default, no need to make a song and dance about it.

RebelRogue · 15/10/2017 11:57

Well nit exactly super dad if "it's been a while". What the fuck does that even mean?
And first date? Really?

Batteriesallgone · 15/10/2017 11:58

Agree with everyone else it's cringy.

Romantic dates should only be between equals - mimicking a romantic date where there's a power imbalance between the parties is weird, in any adult / child dynamic.

NetflixandBill · 15/10/2017 11:58

Use of the word 'date' doesn't bother me too much but to treat it like a romantic date is just wierd. A dad and his daughter going to the park and for pizza is totally normal quality time; why make it about fake romance?

Youcanstayundermyumbrella · 15/10/2017 11:59

FFS, the word 'date' isn't the issue. If anything about that video or the wider concept strikes you as psychologically healthy or promoting any sort of gender equality then I would love to hear what it is.

MuseumOfCurry · 15/10/2017 12:01

Well nit exactly super dad if "it's been a while". What the fuck does that even mean?

I think we all know.