Nursery debate

[Adviceplease360]

For the past few days, there have been a number of threads about nurseries and the pros and cons. Personally, I am not keen on nurseries for under 3's and after 3 for 15 hours. What does everyone else think?

Couldn't* work out

OP another thing to consider, is that the countries with high happiness rates, higher child education quality and healthier populace, encourage children to be in childcare from an early age.

I don't know, if one starts a thread stating 'I've done X, I think this is the best, I don't like Y, I have read this article that says Y is bad, and also this book based on some studies form 1950s says it's bad' - it just does not sound like the poster is genuinely interested in a debate. More of an echo chamber. Or fight.

My understanding was three onwards is beneficial to kids, especially boys. And I think you may be referring to Scandinavian countries? If so, I definitely read an article of the negatives to it, will find and post it just.

What do you want people to do though op? Whatever you think of nursery, in this expensive era most of the time many parents need to be working- that is the only choice they have so the children have to go into childcare.
In the 70s and early 80s property prices were such that living on one salary while someone stayed home with the dc was totally possible. It's not now.
Not everyone can (or want) do what you and your Dh do it's not always possible.

@Adviceplease360 iv think even at age 3 it's how long you put them in for. Long hours at age 3 could also have negative effects. Where as 15 hrs or less per week is fine. (According to research)

Well there are important differences in the Nordic countries. Finland has a high take up of preschool childcare (98% and strongest educational results) but a longer period of maternity leave than Denmark (happiest children). But they all recognise that allowing family choice and flexibility is the key. Another thing to point out, is that early childcare can catch children who might be struggling due to home conditions and anchor families into communities, fostering integration and language development. Making childcare of immense benefit to society as a whole.

Which brings it back to normalising childcare in various ways that suit different families is much better than judging others for choosing nursery/childminders/family/SAHP. Or most commonly, a mixture to suit.
Forcing parents to give up work and stay at home or to be forced to use childcare, would lead to economic stresses, emotional strains and worse off children.

Wonder and just, totally agree. Tiny, I doubt people will care much for what I would like them to do.

Oh give it a rest OP. Why are you so interested in other people's parenting decisions? Your feigned concern wears rather thin when viewed alongside your nasty questioning other people's motives for having children, implying that only a SAHP is a proper parent.

Come on, OP, you could at least give us a hint which paper you write for?

What are you talking about? Questioning about motives for having kids? You're on the wrong thread. There is no feigned concern. The concern for children is genuine and that is all children. Before you say it no, I do not care for your kids more than you but I do care for every child, yes.

Lol olenna, so much material to work with!

It's a wonder you find time for a job at all OP, let alone one that supports a SAHD, what with how long you must have to spend polishing your halo.....

Oh bore off! Of course it's possible to enforce a feeling onto someone. I know you're probably a journo writing for some half wit newspaper, but you need to show a shred of decency and think about the new first time mums who are feeling scared about using childcare when they return to work.

@FenellaMaxwellsPony

We manage childcare between ourselves, it has meant not progressing work wise to allow more flexibility, living in our starter home instead of moving into a bigger home/nicer area but it works for us now.

you are clearly a superior parent, OP. Shame on the parents who aren't able to find employer's to allow them do work flexibly so that childcare is not required

you know what, have a and stick it up somewhere where the sun doesn't shine. your post of some of the smuggest nonsense I have read all day.

My daughter (3 in feb) started pre school last month and in the short 4 weeks she has been there the difference in her speech and her attitude is unbelievable!

She goes 4 afternoons a week and i honestly feel its the best thing i have done for her. She has made some lovely little friends as well

Another “cant we only think of the children” 😂😂

There being sent to nursery not down the coal mines

So OP I appreciate you may well just be someone with the best interests of children at heart wanting a debate about raising kids etc.

But you could be a mite more tactful. And the comment about not making anyone feel a certain way is disingenuous surely. Words can hurt & some people don't have the options you have & are doing their best.

I know that my experience doesn't count for much but I have been working in childcare for 15 years + and so many children are very happy, settled and thrive within a childcare settings (childminder or nursery). There are a few who don't settle so well, but they are often with parents who don't or can't spend quality time with the child in the evenings and weekends. Really, OP, you should understand for that for each 'study' that says that children are worst off going to nursery there will be another study stating that they are better off.

The children who would benefit the most from a quality childcare setting are, in my opinion, those of disadvantaged backgrounds, or those who are from refugee families. The parents can't or don't work but the kids would really benefit from going to a nursery, and don't have access to it until the child is at least 2, or 3, or not at all if the family is so disadvantaged that they can't access the system. That is probably a bit controversial but I do think that many children - those who are in a precarious home situation, financially or emotionally, would benefit the most from early years education.

I should add that for us, a nursery was the best choice as I didn't like the idea of a childminder with her hands full leaving my daughter to cry. We chose a small private nursery and there were always plenty of staff on hand (7 in fact) so one of them could always give her a cuddle or rock her to sleep or hold her (literally for the first two months, she slept on someone's chest as they rocked in the rocking chair for naps as she wouldn't sleep on her own there without getting upset). A childminder never could have done that as she would have had other children to look after and would have just left her to cry.

I have been a childminder for 18 years and I have never left a child to cry. And, funnily enough, the children I have cared for from the age of 6 months to 11 years are happy, sociable, articulate and emotionally sound. I have had babies who wouldn't sleep anywhere but on my shoulder for years, never mind a couple of months, and it's never been a problem. If you have never used a childminder then you really should stop spouting such rubbish.

I have 40 years experience working with children. I have worked in nurseries (private and council), pre schools, primary school, workplace nursery, private nannying, hospitals and, for the past 18 years at my home.

The majority of children will thrive whichever setting they are in. The majority of children do not need to socialise under the age of 3. I have never had a child who comes to want me more than their parent regardless of how many hours they spend in childcare.

If your childcare provider is loving, nurturing, communicative, and provides a reasonable amount of stimuli then your child will do just fine.

In the past 18 years I have cared for upwards of 60 children in my home. Some for as long as 11 years and I am happy to report that they are all fabulous teenagers who are reaching, and in many cases, exceeding their potential.

£80k for a 4 bed?

I'm up North and a quick look on Rightmove shows the cheapest 4 bed near me at £249k

I actually agree with op, I find nurseries and the hours children do incredibly sad, and I have worked in nurseries, preschools and primaries.

However I do see that some parents don't really have an option. But full time nursery for under 3s is never in the interest of the child.