Nursery debate

[Adviceplease360]

For the past few days, there have been a number of threads about nurseries and the pros and cons. Personally, I am not keen on nurseries for under 3's and after 3 for 15 hours. What does everyone else think?

Please provide links to these studies and experts.

insertimaginativeusername where you asking me? Because I literally posted the link above my post.

some people don't have the luxury of other options.

This is it in a nutshell. It's rather like saying "I'm not keen on semi detached houses". That's marvellous and all very well if you have a choice and can afford a detached one....

If you have to/want to work, then you need childcare. If you have family who are willing, then that's an option. If you don't, it it isn't. If you can afford a nanny, then that's an option. If you can't, it isn't. Etc etc.

I chose a nursery because I personally didn't want a childminder. I take my hat off to childminders, I have two children and keeping them entertained all day by myself can be a slog, especially feeding/changing/sleeping times.

I wanted my child to be in a nursery with lots of other children around, an appropriate number of staff able to give appropriate levels of care and a good ethos around food and nutrition. I found an organic day nursery where the staff all know my DS, it's clean and tidy and they are always trying new things. Things I wouldn't dream of doing in the house. My DS needs this interaction as he is by nature a shy boy and needs to have other children around.

Furthermore, I enjoy my job. I am on maternity leave now which is great but my job is something I enjoy doing and I think it makes me a better mother when I have stimulation from other sources.

I'm in favour of families being able to do what is best for them. I prefer nursery to CM, but know of families who prefer CM or SAHP. There are pros and cons to all and all studies I've read reflect that.

I think you should keep your snout in your own trough, basically.

I don't even know what you're questioning.
Nursery before 3?
Nursery after 3?
Which paper do you write for anyway?

I work in a nursery. We have some kids who are with us more than 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 51 weeks of the year apart from Christmas. Some parents work and no nursery isn't an option I don't understand the 51 weeks to be honest. Even if parents are both working fulltime or it is a single parent surely they get holidays? Adults legally get 5.6 weeks a year holiday, school children get far more but young children get 1 week a year?

What childcare do you use OP?

Personally I think a childminder is better for children under 3, and then a nursery is better.
But parents make what they think is the best decision for their child.

There was a study that concluded that children from certain backgrounds benefited greatly from high quality early years provision. That was interpreted by many to mean that all children should go to nursery. More studies have since redressed the balance.

I've worked in excellent and awful early years settings and seen children thrive and suffer in both. I've seen well-off parents who get parenting very wrong and parents on benefits doing an awesome job and vice-versa.

I absolutely do not agree with parents feeling pushed into sending their children to nursery because that what you do or because it's good for them. Being at home with a loving, interested, motivated adult who takes you out and explores the world alongside you cannot be beaten by a group childcare setting. However, that doesn't mean that the child is worse off if the parent works and they are in decent quality childcare.

Some children would be better off if they could be at home with a parent and some would be better off if they were in even poor quality childcare rather than home.

I think the most important thing is that, where possible, parents have the option to choose what is best for their child and there being some professional responsible for keeping in contact with those who do not attend an early years setting so that those being abused cannot slip under the radar so much.

Oh yay, more guilt to hit mothers (it's always mothers, isn't it? Never dads) over the head with! Well done you, OP! Marvellous work.

I have to disagree completely. My 2 year old goes to nursery 1 day a week and the difference in her since starting is astounding. I work shifts so don't really need to put her in, but as we have no family here and she doesn't spend much time away from Me, I felt it would be beneficial.
Her confidence and language skills have soared and she is hugely happy and well adjusted.

I've always done groups etc with her, but she's always been with me. Allowing her to socialise and interact with other adults and children, away from me is the best thing I have ever done for her. She skips in in the morning and has a wonderful time.

When I go back to my full time post in a year, she will have to go full time and I have no worries at all.

I find your post uninformed and judgemental.

Goady AF.

My dd went full time to nursery at 10 months. She loves it and runs off away from me as soon as we get in the door. She usually wants to carry on playing when I go to pick her up.

I didn't want to use a child minder as I liked the idea of other adults being around so I knew cared laziness couldn't occur (I am not saying all childminders are lazy - I just didn't like the idea of one person) and I wanted my dd to get used to being in groups, learning to share, socialise etc in preparation for school. Also, if a nursery worker is ill nursery still stays open whereas a childminder can't. More germs at nursery though but that could mean hey pick up less colds and bugs when they start school.

Telegraph - Kids better of at nursery rather than staying at home with Mum

Now, as a children's worker with 16 years experience i'm not actually saying I agree whole heartedly with this but I do think it shows how attitudes toward both sides change and differ with the times.

I have seen children come in who absolutely flourish in the nursery environment because they aren't getting the care/attention they need at home but likewise I've seen children who cannot cope in the environment for a variety of reasons and it's just not right for them but for most it's just a useful day to day care tool balancing out family life.

If it's right for the child and the family then no harm done, if not then of course like anything else, it could affect the child's emotional well-being on the short term.

In the long-term it's very unlikely that it matters as long as abuse/neglect hasn't taken place so I'm a bit meh tbh.

I use a nursery. My personal reasons for not going with a childminder is that I just couldn’t find one that would suit my two boys.

They have both thrived at nursery, love going and are learning so much through play. I’m not hugely bothered by them learning anything that young but when they are doing it and having fun it’s a bonus. The nursery staff are amazing and appear to genuinely enjoy spending time with my kids (and the others). It enables me to work and help house, feed and cloth my family. If I didn’t work we would be living off benefits which in our situation would be wrong.

My older two went to nursery, oldest from 3 months and next from 2years - both are well adjusted children and took the transition to school in their stride. I don’t feel using nursery full time has impacted my ability to bond with any of them either!

I am also not keen on living near airports, electricity stations, scared of nuclear radiation, don't want to live in a crowded, dirty city (but do like culture, shops and other people). I think we should grow our own organic non-GMO food, heal ourselves using natural medicines, take our energy from the land and the sun, while we look after our young and our old. The reality of my life is somewhat adrift from that.... but heh ho, we all take life as it comes and do the best we can.

As a nanny I advocate for home childcare where possible. My charge is in her own home environment, she has one to one attention from me and we have a wonderfully varied week. Walks in the park, play dates, classes and visiting mummy at work in the city.

That said Nannys are premium childcare, so not everyone can afford that and nursery is the only option or a childminder of course.

I worked in nursery and I hated it but the kids loved being there, had lovely bonds with the staff and we cared for them.

There are options for a reason.

What's best for the child is what works best for your particular family. My DD has been in nursery 3 days a week since she was 10 months old as it's our only childcare option. The alternative is I give up my career. As it is I have a career with a company that have allowed me to go part time and will allow me to change my hours to school hours once DD starts school. This is because I have worked there for a very long time and they value me and want me to stay. The chance of me finding a school hours job in my field had I quit to avoid nursery is less than zero.

DD loves nursery and has thrived there. But even if there was an option that would have been better for her development in some way, it's best for our family that I've retained my career because my happiness is important too.

Also you're a GF.

Do you work for a paper?

What childcare do you use?

Dd is an only child. She went to nursery part time from 11months. Initially for one day then upped to two at around two then three at three. I met regularly with friends with children of the same age and took her to play centres. She is gregarious, sharing, cooperative and caring. She has a wide circle of friends at school. It has done her no harm and I would say plenty of good. In fact, she has had a life, I couldn’t offer her because I was too ill and immobile.

Do you really have to be so goady?

Excuse me? I asked the OP if she works for a paper based on the fact lots of these threads end up on the daily fail?
I also asked what Childcare the OP uses.
You can't take the moral high ground when you've reaorted to calling me names for asking two perfectfly reasonable questions.

My son went to a nursery as I needed to work. If I didn't work I wouldn't be able to put food on the table or a roof over our head. Would you rather we lived on the streets and starved?
Why are you trying to make mothers feel bad for their choices OP?

My son loved nursery. The staff loved him. We are still in contact now he is at school We are planning to meet his key worker for lunch soon. He is a confident, happy, sociable child. What is the problem with that?