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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider letting ds have day off?

315 replies

singadream · 12/10/2017 23:46

He started reception in sept. He likes school. Is difficult at drop off but walks there happily (is just saying goodbye that he struggles with) and has a good time. Keeps getting stickers for good behaviour. Has made friends etc. Hasn't sought out his big sister in year 2 much at lunch even though they are very close.

But when I put him to bed tonight he said what he most wants in the world is one day at home with me just the two of us instead of school. He said any time fine as in not saying he doesn't want to go tomorrow.

He baby brother starts nursery next week so it would be possible (until now it wouldn't just be the two of us it would be the toddler too).

Aibu to consider giving him just such a day - me, home, playing, cuddles, tv- for a day between half term and Christmas and pretend to school he is sick. TBH I may have to pretend to his sister and dh that he is sick too so that she doesn't want same and because dh will not approve. It's kind of like a mental health duvet day equivalent though isn't it?

OP posts:
CredulousThickos · 13/10/2017 06:41

Just tell school he’s tired and under the weather and you’re having a duvet day.

I’ve dint this with all three of mine at various times throughout Primary. DS2 is in yr1 and we did this yesterday, he woke up teary and snuggly so I said ‘no school today’ and we spent the day together, including a three hour afternoon nap. He’s not ill, just tired after a long first half of term and he needed a rest day. It’s all very well saying save it for the weekend, but we do things at the weekend and it’s not very restful. Plus it’s lovely to have one on one time.

angularmerkel · 13/10/2017 06:43

I’m shocked by the people who think that a tired five year old shouldn’t be allowed a day off school to be with his Mum. Let him have the day off OP, don’t think twice about it.

One day off won’t teach him to be a liar, or encourage him to be off regularly. It’ll teach him that an adult in his life cares and listens to him when he reaches out to her.

Jeez.

Springbreeze · 13/10/2017 06:44

I couldn't but then I've never taken a a sickie either. But I bet most of those who've pulled this trick have.

Slartybartfast · 13/10/2017 06:45

if he is tired that is feasible, but just for the day with mum and him just on their own doesnt sound like tiredness
he just wants some of your attention

user1495997773 · 13/10/2017 06:45

I thought Walsall and Warsaw were the same place, and again with County Durham and County Down. I blame newsreaders for saying their names too quickly!

user1495997773 · 13/10/2017 06:46

Ooops, sorry, posted in wrong topic!

YeahButNo · 13/10/2017 06:46

I personally wouldn't, as he may want it again. I would prefer to have his dad to take his siblings out in the weekend and spend a Saturday afternoon alone with him. Can rotate siblings every few weekends too. I'm sure they would all love 1-on-1 (or 2-on-1) time with their mum and dad separately.

KoalaD · 13/10/2017 06:47

One day off won’t teach him to be a liar, or encourage him to be off regularly.

It's not the day off that teaches him to be a liar. It's...the lying?

DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 13/10/2017 06:48

You don't need to lie in order for him to have the day off

LoverOfCake · 13/10/2017 06:49

Let's be honest here none of this is actually about the child, it's all about the parent. Child expresses something and parent thinks "aww yeah would be lovely to have a day with just him."

My guess is that as the middle child of three he's never actually had a day on his own with just the OP because that's just not how it happens when you've got more than one. and now he's at school the parent would like to turn back the clock a bit. Except she can't. And they break up next week don't they? So he'll have a whole week of days off where nobody has to lie to anyone.

How would the OP feel I wonder if her husband was lying to her about her DC and encouraging them to do the same? It's a terrible idea.

He has 175 days to be off. He doesn't need another one and to be taught to lie to his other parent into the bargain.

MaisyPops · 13/10/2017 06:50

I wouldn't because he has jist started school and if he gets a day off when he asks this time then it's not going to be th last request.

Put into perspective, I teach some secondary students who are regularly off with the official reason being sickness but if you speak to them it was because they were tired.
I can't help but think they were probably kids who were allowed duvet days.

Half term is a week away. This half term has been really long. The autumn ones are a week or 2 longer than spring and summer ones. But he really should be in school.

DaveDave · 13/10/2017 06:51

I did this recently. It was lovely and felt special She is still talking about it. They are young for so little time. I didn't fib though, just said she was exhausted, which was true.

Frouby · 13/10/2017 06:53

Do it OP.

He is only little. He probably misses you. It's a big change going full time. Do it on a friday so he can 'recover' over the weekend.

Its such a little thing he has asked for. I would tell his dad why though. There shouldn't be any reason to lie.

I am now thinking of the end of the film AI and getting sad thinking about my ds who starts ft school next year.

lalaloopyhead · 13/10/2017 07:01

It is the lying that is the issue. You can't collude with your young ds to lie to your DH, DD and school for a nice day off, there is something a bit weird about that - how would you even go about setting up that lie?

If you want to indulge in a day off that is fine, he isn't going to miss much at school at that age. I would be worried he will ask for another day though and get upset if this is not possible and potentially create problems getting him into school.

NashvilleQueen · 13/10/2017 07:02

For the lies you would have to tell and the fact that your DS would be involved in the deception I wouldn't do it. What would be your DH view if you told him?

There are loads of non-school days. If you are in England it is almost half term.

Also, assuming you do it and have a lovely time, what do you say next term when he asks again? Or in yr 1? Etc.

Obviously there is no loss of education for a single day but it is the principle of school not being a opt out thing that I would be enforcing.

LadyintheRadiator · 13/10/2017 07:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IAmNotAWitch · 13/10/2017 07:05

Do it, I did when mine were little.

I wouldn't bother lying though. I do what I think is best for my kids and make no apologies or excuses.

BeyondThePage · 13/10/2017 07:07

Sounds like he is your favourite... My brother was the favoured child, still resentful of it at 50...

FluttershysCutieMark · 13/10/2017 07:08

It’s all very well saying save it for the weekend, but we do things at the weekend and it’s not very restful.

Surely that's your own issue?! You could choose to have a restful weekend if your dc are tired rather than choosing to still have tiring weekends then taking them out on a school day.

DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 13/10/2017 07:09

Iamnotawitch
Yay

FluttershysCutieMark · 13/10/2017 07:16

I presume that if your DH decides he would also like a duvet day with DS because he misses them days then you would be happy to support it? You would be happy to leave them alone for the day? You would be happy for DH to let DS miss another day of school so he could spend some one on one time with his father?

ClashCityRocker · 13/10/2017 07:17

I think it's fine in principle but trickier in practice due to the lying....and then if you tell the truth you risk pissing off your other kids.

LadyintheRadiator · 13/10/2017 07:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ellisandra · 13/10/2017 07:19

Ridiculous.

You've got 2 days a week (if your husband works M-F?) when he can take the other the two out and you have 1:1 time.

If my husband lied to me to do this, I'd be seiously questioning what kind of relationship we were in.

fairyofallthings · 13/10/2017 07:20

The school will know, he won't be able to resist talking about it the next day. Ditto he will mention it to his sister and your DH, he's too young to be asked to lie - no child should be asked to lie ever, yours is too young to keep the secret. It's also a bad idea to expect a child to keep a secret when told- they should never be told to keep something from a parent or teacher as you never know when they might experience something that they must tell somebody about even when they have been told not to.