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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider letting ds have day off?

315 replies

singadream · 12/10/2017 23:46

He started reception in sept. He likes school. Is difficult at drop off but walks there happily (is just saying goodbye that he struggles with) and has a good time. Keeps getting stickers for good behaviour. Has made friends etc. Hasn't sought out his big sister in year 2 much at lunch even though they are very close.

But when I put him to bed tonight he said what he most wants in the world is one day at home with me just the two of us instead of school. He said any time fine as in not saying he doesn't want to go tomorrow.

He baby brother starts nursery next week so it would be possible (until now it wouldn't just be the two of us it would be the toddler too).

Aibu to consider giving him just such a day - me, home, playing, cuddles, tv- for a day between half term and Christmas and pretend to school he is sick. TBH I may have to pretend to his sister and dh that he is sick too so that she doesn't want same and because dh will not approve. It's kind of like a mental health duvet day equivalent though isn't it?

OP posts:
FlowerPot1234 · 19/10/2017 08:50

If you do this, what you are saying is "if you want something the world will change to suit your requirements because whatever you want is all that matters, and I your mother will even lie to others just to give you whatever you want because in this family there is no such thing as respect or honesty".

You have two days each week of no school, you have weeks throughout the year of no school and holidays - why can't you plan a day with your son alone in any of these days?

babsthebuilder · 19/10/2017 09:08

Out of curiosity do we have physical health duvet days?

I too couldn’t do this. If your point was that he was falling asleep before his coat was off and he had slept through tea and breakfast every day then I can see you may have concerns and for his overall well-being thus consider a day off. You haven’t said that though have you.

Can you not arrange a few weekends where the kids take it in turns to get a day especially for them? If he chooses a day with you then get the other kids to go out with their dad. I regularly take my toddler out for a bit because we never get time alone now his sibling is here. Im sure my suggestion will be pulled the shreds, but basically I’m saying work around it.

KoalaD · 19/10/2017 09:12

Out of curiosity do we have physical health duvet days?

Surely that's called a sick day?

SuburbanRhonda · 19/10/2017 09:21

I'd do it and not give a reason to the school unless pushed and if so say he had an appointment. Which he has. With you. I'd actually do it for either of mine at almost any age, as a one-off or once in a blue moon if I thought they needed a bit of space to "recalibrate."

Don't encourage the OP to lie and ask her DS to collide in a lie.

And wtf is "recalibrating" meant to mean? It's a child, not a set of bathroom scales.

Wanderlust1984 · 19/10/2017 09:25

Just do it and enjoy! Some of the comments are well OTT on here, it's a day off with your child, jeez 😂

WitchesHatRim · 19/10/2017 09:27

Just do it and enjoy! Some of the comments are well OTT on here, it's a day off with your child, jeez

No not 'well OTT' you just don't agree.

FlowerPot1234 · 19/10/2017 09:31

SuburbanRhonda
And wtf is "recalibrating" meant to mean? It's a child, not a set of bathroom scales.

😂 I pictured all sorts of strange machinery too when I read that ridiculous comment. 😂

Wanderlust1984 · 19/10/2017 09:33

They are OTT Smile

MaggieS41 · 19/10/2017 09:59

f you do this, what you are saying is "if you want something the world will change to suit your requirements because whatever you want is all that matters, and I your mother will even lie to others just to give you whatever you want because in this family there is no such thing as respect or honesty".

Really?? Ok I agree lying is inappropriate but you’re assuming that the OP is going to continue just giving this child whatever he wants and at whatever time for the rest of his life! It’s like me saying the opposite in response to some other posts “you’ll never get what you ask for if it’s outside of the rules and you will remain compliant with everything in life and never speak up for yourself because your needs are not as important as society’s or their rules no matter how much you disagree with them - ever!!” It’s quite presumptuous.

babsthebuilder · 19/10/2017 10:05

Surely that’s just called a sick day?

My point. Physical Ill health is sickness? Fancying a day in bed is a mental health day? This is attitude what boils my piss, and at risk of opening a new debate I shall say this and not return; a duvet day is being run down (either physically, emotionally or mentally) tired, lazy etc. Being sick is when you are either unwell to the point it prevents you working and functioning, whether that be through physical Ill health or mental ill health.

Evelynismyspyname · 19/10/2017 12:37

SuburbanRhonda being obtuse doesn't make the person you're replying to seem like the silly one...

The OP very clearly isn't coming back, and the overwhelming majority of posters have agreed that lying, especially to the nuclear family and especially making a child complicit, is wrong.

The dire predictions for the rest of the child's life, whether in terms of entitlement or work ethic or anything else, are pure hyperbole.

Duvet days, btw, are meant to be preventative health care where sick days are for when actually incapacitated. That is the difference, not whether they are taken for mental or physical health. Duvet days are only relevant if they are written into a company or institution's policy. They are more common in America partly because American companies typically have very limited holiday entitlement and for many people insufficient paid sick leave.

Original poster
singadream · 19/10/2017 12:59

The op (me) came back, said hi, and is monitoring responses. Sigh.

OP posts:
WitchesHatRim · 19/10/2017 13:38

The op (me) came back, said hi, and is monitoring responses. Sigh.

Not exactly contributing to the thread you started though. and you said that pages and pages ago

Original poster
singadream · 19/10/2017 13:58

What would I contribute? Some of you think it is a good idea. Some of you think it is a bad idea. It has given me things to think about. Most of you on both sides were constructive. And for some of you I contributed an opportunity to vent your spleen. What else is there to say.
Back off to monitor silently. Thanks for all the contributions, and to those who have private messaged me, thank you.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 19/10/2017 14:07

SuburbanRhonda being obtuse doesn't make the person you're replying to seem like the silly one...

I'd reply to this, only I don't know wtf you're going on about Grin

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