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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider letting ds have day off?

315 replies

singadream · 12/10/2017 23:46

He started reception in sept. He likes school. Is difficult at drop off but walks there happily (is just saying goodbye that he struggles with) and has a good time. Keeps getting stickers for good behaviour. Has made friends etc. Hasn't sought out his big sister in year 2 much at lunch even though they are very close.

But when I put him to bed tonight he said what he most wants in the world is one day at home with me just the two of us instead of school. He said any time fine as in not saying he doesn't want to go tomorrow.

He baby brother starts nursery next week so it would be possible (until now it wouldn't just be the two of us it would be the toddler too).

Aibu to consider giving him just such a day - me, home, playing, cuddles, tv- for a day between half term and Christmas and pretend to school he is sick. TBH I may have to pretend to his sister and dh that he is sick too so that she doesn't want same and because dh will not approve. It's kind of like a mental health duvet day equivalent though isn't it?

OP posts:
SingingMySong · 13/10/2017 00:31

Don't pull him out of school. Pick a Sunday. Send his sister and your DH out to do something lovely together, while you and DS have your duvet day. Another time, you have time with DD while DS does something with your DH.

Does your DD have "mental health duvet days" too or special treats for coping well at school, or might this be a teensy bit about him being your baby??

MyDcAreMarvel · 13/10/2017 00:31

Your ds is not compulsory school age so no need for him to be at school. Just tell the truth and yes absolutely let him have the day off.
My ds had an entire year off and he benefited so much. He turned five in August and didn't start school until last month.

5had03 · 13/10/2017 00:33

Wait until he is actually sick and then do it Grin it will happen, kids go to school with so many germs.

Best not to let him think this is ok otherwise.

Efnisien · 13/10/2017 00:40

Used to do this on odd days with my son (very rare occasions).He's now at Uni,over 100 miles away studying biology.Don't regret it one bit and if we could do it again,we bloody well would.We used to call them 'recharging batteries' days.

ozymandiusking · 13/10/2017 00:40

Sometimes children just need a day at home with Mummy, all to themselves. I really don't think it does them any harm to miss a day in school.

Carouselfish · 13/10/2017 00:42

The only problem is the lying part. I don't see any problem with missing one day of reception!!

noblegiraffe · 13/10/2017 00:43

They're only at school 190 days a year. I'm sure you could possibly find some other day and make some other childcare arrangements so that you can spend the day with your DS.

Of course your DD would want the same and why would she not deserve it if your DS does?

Italiangreyhound · 13/10/2017 00:45

Yes, go for it. Unless it is the term after he turns 5 he doesn't even legally need to be in school at all. And even if he is 5, so what, he's 5!

He probably gets tired and good on you for caring about him enough to want to do this.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar "Why can’t people have lovely, lovely days on non school days? There are enough of them." they can and do. And your point about them being enough of them is the thing that shoots down all this every minute at school counts! My kids have very long holidays this year, presumably it suits the school, not me, I will be at work.

It won't harm his education at 5 so what is the harm?

I wouldn't lie, I'd just say he is not coming in today and let them think what they like.

It is not the same as skipping work, where you are being paid to work, and where may people do drag themselves in even they feel ill.

And lying is also saying every minute at school counts only to find out that one class spent some time tidying a cupboard!

R2G · 13/10/2017 00:49

YANBU - wouldn't make a big deal of it tho. Would just say we're not going to school today as you're tired and need a rest. Don't need to lie. I wasn't offended about mental health thing - I knew what you meant as our work also had two duvet days, to prevent stress and promote mental health

brasty · 13/10/2017 00:51

Agree that if you get him to lie, it will come out anyway. I can imagine if this happened both your partner and DD would be angry.
I don't think there is an issue with one day off school at 5. But what about your DD? Surely she will think it is unfair treatment. And would your DS expect other days off in the future?

TerracottaTurtles · 13/10/2017 00:53

Do it and enjoy 😊

Butterymuffin · 13/10/2017 00:54

Do it when you can truthfully say he seems really tired and 'may be coming down with something'. Preferably Friday. I wouldn't usually endorse it but, I don't know.. [brew

CharlotteAnn · 13/10/2017 00:57

It would be easier to organise a day at home together under more honest circumstances. A weekend perhaps when dad can take the other two out for the day. I think the lying part is just wrong. And as pps have said, it's highly likely the day will come soon when he's too full of snot to send to school. Voila! He gets his wish.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 13/10/2017 01:03

Do it.

He's 4.

Ignore all the utter bullshit about his failing in life because of a couple of home days at 4.

Lots of people do it & lots of schools support it. They're FOUR years old.

Do it & enjoy it. Tell DD that she had them when she was 4 (even if she didn't!) and tell DH to wind his bloody neck in. His son is 4 years old & needs a day at home with his Mum.

Pinkspices · 13/10/2017 01:04

Go for it,his happiness is more important than a school day

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 13/10/2017 01:08

Don’t get your point, ItalianGreyhound. Why does having long holidays give the lie to “every minute at school counts”?

edwinbear · 13/10/2017 01:08

No, absolutely not. He should be in school unless he's sick, and even then if he has a bit of a cold, or a bit tired or whatever, he should still be in school unless he's too ill to be there. There is too much mollycoddling and it's delivering people into the work place who have no clue about work ethic etc.

I know people will flame because he's so small, and of course in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter one way or another if he's off for one day in reception, but my DS (y4) has never had a single day off school. Other parents are amazed that I have no idea how to go about letting the school know he's not coming in, but he knows, unless you are dying, you go in to school and/or work.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 13/10/2017 01:10

Surely you know to just ring them, edwin?!

QuopQuop · 13/10/2017 01:10

Yes!

QuopQuop · 13/10/2017 01:13

By the yes i mean.... do it! They are the best days!! I do it with my two individually at least once a term GrinConfused

QuopQuop · 13/10/2017 01:14

Oh and kids don't have to legally be in school until they are 5.

TerracottaTurtles · 13/10/2017 01:15

Edwin - so if your DS had D&V you'd send him into school to spread the bug because he wasn't dying?

Fool!

safariboot · 13/10/2017 01:16

I think YANBU, but the school might not see it that way.

Is there a chance you could arrange it on a teacher day, if the baby can still be at nursery and DD sent to visit friends or family?

Floellabumbags · 13/10/2017 01:20

By this stage Reception children are exhausted. I'd do it.

megletthesecond · 13/10/2017 01:37

No.
Can't your dh have your other dc on a weekend so you and your DS can have a day together.

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