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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider letting ds have day off?

315 replies

singadream · 12/10/2017 23:46

He started reception in sept. He likes school. Is difficult at drop off but walks there happily (is just saying goodbye that he struggles with) and has a good time. Keeps getting stickers for good behaviour. Has made friends etc. Hasn't sought out his big sister in year 2 much at lunch even though they are very close.

But when I put him to bed tonight he said what he most wants in the world is one day at home with me just the two of us instead of school. He said any time fine as in not saying he doesn't want to go tomorrow.

He baby brother starts nursery next week so it would be possible (until now it wouldn't just be the two of us it would be the toddler too).

Aibu to consider giving him just such a day - me, home, playing, cuddles, tv- for a day between half term and Christmas and pretend to school he is sick. TBH I may have to pretend to his sister and dh that he is sick too so that she doesn't want same and because dh will not approve. It's kind of like a mental health duvet day equivalent though isn't it?

OP posts:
DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 13/10/2017 20:49

It's not up to you though, is it?
well, the OP asked if she was being unreasonable and that poster said they wouldn't have a problem.
It may not be "up to them" but it's a valid response to a question.

DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 13/10/2017 20:55

So you only get if you ask then?

No
It is not reasonable to make every decision (especially one about whether a four year old has one actual day off reception class) based on what every other child has experienced.
Decisions do not need to be based on sameness to be valid or equal.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 14/10/2017 07:10

I don't think you'll have to lie, depending on the school.

When DS has been ill I just call at like 7:30, leave a message saying "DS won't be in today" and it's not mentioned again

Ankleswingers · 14/10/2017 07:21

bosher

Yes, it's pretty bonkers here.

Number crunching, stats driven etc etc

If mine is off school, then he's off school.

In reception, when they don't even legally need to be at School, then yes, absolutely would I keep him off one day as op is suggesting.

Trust me, no one is going to be asking your child aged 20 how is attendance was at School aged 5 when he goes for that all important job interview.

Regressionconfession · 14/10/2017 07:24

I would absolutely do it!! He’s four for goodness sake! Just tell the school he was tired.

Ankleswingers · 14/10/2017 07:32

This obsession with attendance at school is a main reason why things like sick bugs are so rife
so many selfish twats taking their children to School when still ill and not recovered

It makes my blood boil.

But that's a whole other thread.

perhapstomorrow · 14/10/2017 07:36

My dh and I often take each of our dc out in turn on a "date" whilst the other parent looks after the other dc. We get to spend a few hours one to one with each dc doing something they love that perhaps their siblings aren't so keen on. Could you do this one weekend?

LaughingElliot · 14/10/2017 07:41

Absolutely do it! In fact my kids’ schools encourage it

Chrisinthemorning · 14/10/2017 07:42

DS went to a school nursery with full time hours but I kept him off every Wednesday for a "mummy and DS day". I really missed those days when he started reception and he kept asking when was our day but I never kept him off, it just seemed a bad message to send to him, that he didn't have to go. So I know how you feel.
Definitely keep him off if he's at all under the weather though, small children should not have to struggle through the school day if unwell. He'll most probably get the odd cold and you can snuggle then.

KittysMyName · 14/10/2017 08:53

You're basically telling him it's ok to lie and bunk off school.

Frazzled2207 · 14/10/2017 08:57

Recently my reception child threw up at school so was sent home and banned from coming in the next day. By morning he was fine and we had a lovely day playing and went to the park etc.
It was a Friday and although he is enjoying school he really benefitted from the long weekend and a bit of an extra break from it all.

I’d do it but be sure not to let it become a regular thing!

MaisyPops · 14/10/2017 08:59

Thing is frazzled that's part of the '24/48 hours clear of vomiting' rule so you weren't lying or creating a culture of ask for a day off with mummy and you get one.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 14/10/2017 10:41

Your kids school encourage it, Laughing? How do they actually do that? Verbally, or is it written into school policy?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 14/10/2017 10:45

Why couldn’t Saturday or Sunday have been your day, Chrisinthemorning?! Or are you another one of the “well no, of course I’m not doing child related shit at the weekend, that’s my time” brigade?

SuburbanRhonda · 14/10/2017 11:44

Absolutely do it! In fact my kids’ schools encourage it

Bollocks do they encourage it.

LynetteScavo · 14/10/2017 11:51

I was quite prepared to do this with DD in the first term of reception...as it happened she had a few days off for medical reasons, and school sending her home when nothing was actually wrong (they were quite right to be cautious) so we had a few snugly days anyway.

She also had a day out with DH in Y6 after Sats.....but had 100% attendance in between no way is it necessarily a slippery slope.

Tainbri · 14/10/2017 11:57

I would do it. You can't get back those special bonding days and sometimes that is more important.

WitchesHatRim · 14/10/2017 12:00

I would do it. You can't get back those special bonding days and sometimes that is more important.

Never mind the bond with her DD or DH when they discover the lying though.

WitchesHatRim · 14/10/2017 12:01

Oh and Ops not been back btw.

washingmachinefastwash · 14/10/2017 12:38

A teacher at my sons school noticed one of her 4.5 year old pupils was exhausted during school. She said to the parents that she thought a day off with mummy and daddy would be exactly what he needs and they did.

The little boy came back to school recharged.

As long as it’s not happening every week or month, I don’t see a problem with it.

SongforSal · 14/10/2017 12:43

My mum use to do this with me. I'd think I was going to school, and we'd end up at a theme park. Not very often, but at least once a year in primary.

LaughingElliot · 14/10/2017 16:34

Suburban bollocks yourself. Not everyone is in the UK where schooling is still back in the 50s.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 14/10/2017 16:35

Not everyone is in the UK where schooling is still back in the 50s.

It isn't in the 50s in the UK

HTH

LaughingElliot · 14/10/2017 16:38

Imagery it’s all part of health & wellbeing. if the child is sick or exhausted or deemed to need a day off by the person who knows them best ie the parent, then a day off it is. Parents are rather important stakeholders in their children’s education and are respected as such where I live.

LaughingElliot · 14/10/2017 16:39

Piglet your posts are laughable. Why do you even bother?