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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider letting ds have day off?

315 replies

singadream · 12/10/2017 23:46

He started reception in sept. He likes school. Is difficult at drop off but walks there happily (is just saying goodbye that he struggles with) and has a good time. Keeps getting stickers for good behaviour. Has made friends etc. Hasn't sought out his big sister in year 2 much at lunch even though they are very close.

But when I put him to bed tonight he said what he most wants in the world is one day at home with me just the two of us instead of school. He said any time fine as in not saying he doesn't want to go tomorrow.

He baby brother starts nursery next week so it would be possible (until now it wouldn't just be the two of us it would be the toddler too).

Aibu to consider giving him just such a day - me, home, playing, cuddles, tv- for a day between half term and Christmas and pretend to school he is sick. TBH I may have to pretend to his sister and dh that he is sick too so that she doesn't want same and because dh will not approve. It's kind of like a mental health duvet day equivalent though isn't it?

OP posts:
ASauvignonADay · 14/10/2017 22:15

Definitely not. What are you teaching him by doing that? You’ll regret it when he’s 15 and refusing to get out of bed to go to school.

09chelle74 · 14/10/2017 22:52

Just do it . My daughter is at uni now and we did this when she was small .. they are only young for such a short time .

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 14/10/2017 22:58

I picked my son up at 13.10 a couple of times, his school were fine with it as long as he had been in attendance for both registrations. I let him have the afternoon to chill, watch a film, have a nap but the school don't get penalised for poor attendance

cestlavielife · 14/10/2017 23:01

Half term is coming up.
So wait for half term

caringcarer · 15/10/2017 01:02

Why can't you have great day alone at weekend? Get other child looked after for the day. I would not encourage a day off school as he will just want it again and again.

MissSeventies · 15/10/2017 02:39

I would do it. I understand what others are saying about the lying to the teacher side of things so I would be inclined to wait until the sickness was at least half true.

You know though those years are so precious and he will remember it for years to come. I had very few days off in my 14 year (15 including nursery!) school career, but even now I remember nearly all of them. Once when I was at primary school maybe P3 or 4.I came down with a vomitting bug. The kind that lasts all night but clears by lunchtime the next day. I still remember my Mum bringing our 16 inch living room TV into my bedroom and sitting with me as I watched the educational programmes that used to be on BBC2 in the morning. Silly though it was I was excited to glimpse this adult day time.

MissSeventies · 15/10/2017 02:45

... From which I was normally I excluded. I remember the weather, the way the sun broke through the slightly pulled curtains, the look on my Mum's face and her old haircut close to my face. I am in my 30s now and I would struggle to pull a definate memory of a day in class in P3 or 4.

When I reflect on my own and siblings lives and school careers I think an awful lot of pressure is placed on children and an awful lot of minor things made to feel life changing.

MrsPringles · 15/10/2017 07:40

I did it last week with my exhausted 3yr old, he was beyond tired and needed a rest and a day with just me.
To go from 2 days at a private nursery to 5 mornings at school nursery and 3 afternoons with a new childminder was a big change for him.

I won't be making a habit out of it but on this occasion, I don't feel bad

FastForward2 · 15/10/2017 07:53

No way. Everyone would love to have a day off but that is not reality. Days off are for when you are actually ill, or if child is too tired and not coping. If you want 1-1 time do it at the weekend. He is at school to learn about life, and that includes being at school during the week.

Breezy1985 · 15/10/2017 07:58

Do it. I used to do it with my DC, they are 12 and 13 now, I was a single mum and they didn't see their dad so it was the only time they got one to one time. They still remember the days. They don't expect the odd day off now they are in secondary school.
.

Pumperthepumper · 15/10/2017 08:18

Do it, I definitely would.

tinypop4 · 15/10/2017 08:21

MrsPringles your 3 year old isn't at school though.

PandorasXbox · 15/10/2017 08:39

One day off isn’t going to make a difference to his learning but it might sow a seed in his mind that if he asks mummy to just have one day off with her that he can do so. It might not too, who knows.

I think you can have some quality time with your dc without missing a day off school personally.

useristired · 15/10/2017 08:51

I haven't read all the responses but do it.
My older daughter often used to say this to me and I always said no.. I now have very aggressive stage 4 breast cancer and how I wish I'd made more memories with her and my others.
These little gems will be the memories they will look back on. Just do it x

PandorasXbox · 15/10/2017 08:54

I’m sorry to hear that useristired Flowers

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 15/10/2017 08:55

Yabu - doesn't teach him a good work ethic at all!

Ankleswingers · 15/10/2017 09:03

He's little. Do it.

I don't think that having the day off will
affect his "life skills" or the ability to go to School aged 15, as some posters suggest.

It's quite bonkers really.

Next time, as his Mother, make the decision of what's best for him without asking MN.

Anything to do with School attendance is usually met with an uproar.

Maireadplastic · 15/10/2017 09:13

I know that if I gave in to my youngest, he would never stop asking for another. Wait for inset days or when he's under the weather- half term soon!

MrsPringles · 15/10/2017 10:28

Tinypop

He's at a school nursery, he goes 5 mornings per week with uniform and a book bag.
He's attendance is monitored and if it drops below a certain level, his place may be withdrawn.

GummyGoddess · 15/10/2017 10:58

Do it. He's only little for such a short time! My mum took me and my brother out of school for the day once to see beauty and the beast at the cinema because we had been so good. We both remember what a lovely day we had with her, and it hasn't done our education or work ethic any harm.

Kisathecat · 15/10/2017 12:24

Of course you aren’t being unreasonable! He is 4 and he is going to school not work. There are countries where kids don’t start school until age 6 or 7. I really don’t get this idea that school is somehow “training” for work. That would insinuate that we are all going to be little worker bees, which hopefully we aren’t.

SuburbanRhonda · 15/10/2017 12:38

There are countries where kids don’t start school until age 6 or 7.

But the OP is not in one of those countries so how is that relevant?

WitchesHatRim · 15/10/2017 12:42

My mum took me and my brother out of school

The OP is only taking one out and wants to deliberately lie to the others and her DH.

Anything to do with School attendance is usually met with an uproar.

Not just to do with attendance though is it.

Gimmeareason · 15/10/2017 12:48

If you want to raise an entitled mummys boy who learns he's above the law and lying is acceptable, go for it.

I think you both sound drippy - guessing you don't work?

Evelynismyspyname · 15/10/2017 13:03

Gimme that's a poisonous little post, guessing you have a chip on your shoulder about families who choose to have one parent earning money and one doing the childcare instead of two earning money to pay someone else to do their childcare? The op states clearly that has a preschool child who hasn't yet started nursery so it's clear she is caring for that child during the conventional school day.

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