To dislike strangers knocking on my door

[lizzieoak]

Last night I was home alone & the porch light was off (about 9:00pm). I wasn't expecting anyone and someone knocked on my door (which is glass). There was a pause then another (quite firm) knock. And again. They stood out there for what felt like a few minutes. I had lights on, tv on, car in the drive.

I didn't feel safe opening the door - safe area, but I don't feel anywhere is 100% safe for women.

After they left I peaked out and could see a man and woman walking down the road & they didn't go anywhere else. So not door to door charities/home reno businesses (get a lot of that here).

Today I was home w my tall teenage ds & someone knocked on the door. I called out "I'll get it", sort of expected neighbours - this time it was someone trying to sell yard services (had a jacket on w name of company).

Aside from being annoyed at people pestering us for things I can't afford/random people knocking who knows why, does anyone else find it frightening when someone knocks on the door (when you have no adult male around)?

[OhOurBilly]

I told this one on the Halloween thread but a couple of years ago at ago at about 8pm a man knocked on my front door, middle aged, well dressed, bloke pleaded that he needed some money because he was lost. He had a funny look about him.

Turned out he'd just threatened a taxi driver with a kitchen knife which was still in his pocket. DH was usually out at work but had a rare night off, bloke put his foot in the door as if to barge in and was told in no uncertain terms to remove it. (DH is a bouncer). Bloke ran off. Taxi driver drove up the street still on the phone to the police and told us to be careful as a man had just pulled a knife on him.

So since then, unless pre-arranged, I don't answer the door. Because if I'd been in on my own, I have no doubt whatsoever he'd have knocked me on my arse to get past into the house.

[flimflaminurjams]

YANBU

Your house, do what you like.

Sometimes on MN it amazes me. We shouldn't be scared to open our door, yet all our spidey senses tell us to not open the door. And then if we did and something happened then we'd be fools for opening the door.

[ReanimatedSGB]

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone or something. Why should I?

[NikiBabe]

You know when I was a child my mum was one of these refuse to open door weirdos.

She had an incident when I was about 8 where a womn kept coming to the door every night. Well dressed, etc my mum knew this as she looked out of the window upstairs hiding behind a curtain. My mum lost her shit over this. Who wanted her, OH NO, what was wrong, OMG, why was she being hounded? It was pathetic

Finally the woman put a piece of crucial post of my mothers that she had been waiting for through the door that had been incorrectly delivered to her address along with a note saying I am tired to coming to your home every night when you are clearly in and you dont answer the door. If this isnt your post, deal with it but I am not making any further effort with it.

Imagine if that woman had just chucked it or hadnt tried to deliver it at all.

Why must a knock at the door be sinister in intent?

[Spangles1963]

I never answer my door after about 8pm,unless I'm actually expecting someone after that time. I'm of the opinion that if they are legitimate,they would call during normal 'business hours',i.e. between 9am and 6pm. I honestly don't think they should be surprised if they come calling at 9pm and get no answer,despite suspecting that someone is in. I got totally pissed off several years ago when people trying to get you to change your fuel supplier were doing the rounds. There was one who kept coming back to our flat several nights running,at times between 9.30pm and 11pm. I only found out what it was that they'd wanted as I saw that he'd knocked on my neighbour opposite and she opens the door to anyone so I asked her what it was about.

[Bluntness100]

I really hope the day never comes when I’m too scared or anti social to answer my own front door, and worse, I actually think it’s normal and start locking myself in and telling other people they should do the same, 😔

[Mittens1969]

I remember, about a year ago, there was a knock on the door whilst I was on the downstairs toilet. One of my DDs unlocked the door and the salesman at the door came right in before I’d finished on the toilet. It scared me to death, it could have been anyone! I’ve made it clear to them since then that they mustn’t do that!

I always look out of the window to see who it is and if it’s a cold caller I don’t want to speak to I just don’t answer the door.

[PoisonousSmurf]

I used to go to the door with the largest knife I could get hold of from the kitchen. But always kept the door on the chain.
More for their protection...

[Bluntness100]

Anyone else getting visions of will smith in I am legend,,locking himself in at night,,,😂

[formerbabe]

I really hope the day never comes when I’m too scared or anti social to answer my own front door, and worse, I actually think it’s normal and start locking myself in and telling other people they should do the same

God, it's the opening door version of the "cool wife" isn't it?!

[Bluntness100]

God, it's the opening door version of the "cool wife" isn't it?!

Well more rhe opening the door version of a normal person actually. But potatoes /potatoes, 😂

[Fluckle]

I used to work from home and the number of sales/religious/charity/utter crap disturbances I got per day got ridiculous. In the end I bought a door sticker saying "NO [all of those^]" sticker from Amazon and was the best £3 I've spent.

[formerbabe]

So if I'm home alone one night at 10pm and my doorbell goes and it's a man I don't know, I should open it?

[Fluckle]

Sorry meant to say at night as well as day. We had chuggers and blokes supposedly on day release selling dusters after dark. Not any more.

[Escapepeas]

@bluntness100 actual lol.

Competitive door-opening refusal. There's got to be a label for that somewhere.

This is what MN imagines Outside The Front Door to be like after 8pm.

[Papafran]

God, it's the opening door version of the "cool wife" isn't it?!

Well, not really. It depends on the circumstances. If I was worried, I would get a peephole or a door monitor installed. I definitely would not have a blanket policy though- imagine if everyone thought like that. What if you broke down somewhere and didn't have any phone battery? I once locked myself out of my flat in London because the door slammed shut when I was putting the bin out. I had no phone or even any shoes. I knocked next door- no reply and finally a woman stuck her head out of the first floor window and told me to fuck off. I tried the local shop to see if I could borrow their phone and they basically said the same but in more polite language. Finally, I tried next door but one and they were lovely- let me in and let me borrow a phone to call the locksmith. Thank god for nice people.

[TheQueenOfWands]

I had a British Heart Foundation chugger knock earlier and when I answered asked if I was playing Assassin's Creed.

Had a good look through my window, did you?

Wasn't Assassin's Creed, was Horizon Zero Dawn.

I said no thank you before she could say anything else. But I did say it nicely and smile.

[Tealdeal747]

I never answer my door.

[washingmachinefastwash]

My dogs bark when the door goes so anyone who’s selling something tends to leave, especially when they see my Doberman looking through the blinds at them.

They’re all really friendly, just very loud when the door goes.

[SemiNormal]

Shaming women for not feeling comfortable answering their doors when you know nothing of their reasons ... nice. Not like women have anything to fear is it. Fuck them anyway, the non door openers, they're not normal, they're weird and not nice.

[cloudchasing]

God, it's the opening door version of the "cool wife" isn't it?!

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

And I don't get this whole strange attitude on MN about answering doors anyway

Me neither.

[formerbabe]

Shaming women for not feeling comfortable answering their doors when you know nothing of their reasons ... nice. hmm Not like women have anything to fear is it. Fuck them anyway, the non door openers, they're not normal, they're weird and not nice

Brilliant post.

Women are conditioned to be people pleasers and nice and compliant... often at the expense of their own safety.

[PoppyPopcorn]

"Shaming" - hardly. Totally understand someone who lives in a very dodgy area or who has been assaulted or something being wary, especially after dark.

But that doesn't apply in many cases. Dozens of MNetters never open their door, ever, without the caller making an appointment first.

[Bluntness100]

Do you mean people who suffer from anxiety seminormal for whatever reason and that prevents them answering their doors?