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AIBU?

To dislike strangers knocking on my door

248 replies

lizzieoak · 12/10/2017 20:43

Last night I was home alone & the porch light was off (about 9:00pm). I wasn't expecting anyone and someone knocked on my door (which is glass). There was a pause then another (quite firm) knock. And again. They stood out there for what felt like a few minutes. I had lights on, tv on, car in the drive.

I didn't feel safe opening the door - safe area, but I don't feel anywhere is 100% safe for women.

After they left I peaked out and could see a man and woman walking down the road & they didn't go anywhere else. So not door to door charities/home reno businesses (get a lot of that here).

Today I was home w my tall teenage ds & someone knocked on the door. I called out "I'll get it", sort of expected neighbours - this time it was someone trying to sell yard services (had a jacket on w name of company).

Aside from being annoyed at people pestering us for things I can't afford/random people knocking who knows why, does anyone else find it frightening when someone knocks on the door (when you have no adult male around)?

OP posts:

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Escapepeas · 13/10/2017 22:23

@bingbong Really? Tell you what, why don't YOU provide statistics on women attacked and/or killed after answering their door to a stranger compared to being attacked/killed by someone they know if you really believe it's that prevalent.

IwantLEGO · 13/10/2017 22:25

Finally the woman put a piece of crucial post of my mothers that she had been waiting for through the door that had been incorrectly delivered to her address along with a note saying I am tired to coming to your home every night when you are clearly in and you dont answer the door. If this isnt your post, deal with it but I am not making any further effort with it.

Why would you not just post it in the first place? I got an important document for a house close by once. I went and put it through there door with a note saying this was deliverered to me in error.

bingbongnoise · 13/10/2017 22:26

Yeah I didn't think you would be able to provide a statement of fact to something that is made up.

As you were..........

bingbongnoise · 13/10/2017 22:27

Yeah @Escapepeas...... I didn't think you would be able to provide a statement of fact to something that is made up.

As you were..........

bingbongnoise · 13/10/2017 22:29

YOU are the one making the outlandish claims, so YOU provide the proof of your claims. Otherwise I will just surmise that you are talking shit.

So lets have the proof of this claim @Escapepeas that a woman is statistically more likely to get attacked by her partner, than a stranger at the door at 10pm?

Go on. Don't want to look stupid do you???

Post the link!

Escapepeas · 13/10/2017 22:31

Oh, do me a favour.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/compendium/focusonviolentcrimeandsexualoffences/yearendingmarch2015/chapter2homicide#relationship-between-victim-and-principal-suspect

'In particular, women were far more likely than men to be killed by partners/ex-partners (44% of female victims compared with 6% of male victims).'

Bluntness100 · 13/10/2017 22:33

To be fair, looking st the horrific dv rates and especially the serious ones, I think we all know that it’s more likely you will be attacked by someone you live with than a random stranger attack fronting up at your door, it’s not even something that you have to google.

But if you do you will find globally 30 percent of women are attacked by someone they are intimate with, I’m shocked that anyone would think stranger rape or attack is more common.

Bluntness100 · 13/10/2017 22:34

Go on. Don't want to look stupid do you???

Please just google and stop embarasing yourself.

Slimthistime · 13/10/2017 22:37

Bingbong, you are on fire tonight

BertieBeats · 13/10/2017 22:39

During the day isn't too bad as I'm always having parcels delivered so used to the knocking.
However, at night there's nothing more unnerving than that loud knock out of nowhere. I've had it a few times where I've been in bed and it's been takeaway people getting the wrong house so I've hung out the window to see who it was. Don't think I would ever answer the door late at night.

biscuiteater · 13/10/2017 22:39

Bluntness it was put there to stop my children escaping as we had a problem with locking the door from the inside, it would only lock from outside for some reason. However lock issue seems okay at present, it's temperamental. Really could do with a new front door.

bingbongnoise · 13/10/2017 22:43

That link proves fuck-all. It certainly doesn't prove that I am more likely to get attacked by my husband than a stranger at my door at 10pm.

Must try harder @bluntness my little poppet.

@Slimthistime

Bingbong, you are on fire tonight

Why thank you. I aim to please.

Calling out the bullshitters since 1970.

Bluntness100 · 13/10/2017 22:44

Ah, thanks biscuit eater, I thought it might be something like that.

bingbongnoise · 13/10/2017 22:44

I asked @Escapepeas anyway.

Why did YOU answer @bluntness?

bingbongnoise · 13/10/2017 22:45

Anyhoo I am bored now.

Toodles.

Escapepeas · 13/10/2017 22:50

Actual lol.

It certainly doesn't prove that I am more likely to get attacked by myhusband than a stranger at my door at 10pm

You asked for stats that show women are more at risk from people they know and my posted link demonstrates exactly that. But because it's not all about you, you cannot compute. Other women have different experiences.

Are you trying to suggest that all the women on MN who have been beaten up, raped and attacked by their DPs or exDPs are lying?

Escapepeas · 13/10/2017 22:51

Oh, she's gone to sleep it off. Probably best.

Sallystyle · 13/10/2017 22:53

Friends, family and the children's friends all just walk in so if someone knocks on my door and I am not expecting anyone then I know the chances are very high someone is trying to sell me something. I will look through the peep hole simply because I can't be arsed to get the key to open the door to tell them I'm not interested. We never use the main door and it remains locked. We only use the side door.

I hate people trying to sell me shit. It's intrusive and it always happens just as I'm about to sit down and relax. It's rude.

Nothing to do with worrying I will be attacked. Although if I was a door opener I wouldn't open my door late at night unless I knew who the person was or there was someone else in the house.

Escapepeas · 13/10/2017 23:02

We get trick or treaters a lot because we live in an area with lots of families. I don’t really mind them and usually buy some sweets to give. A couple of years ago we ran out of sweets and the last lot who knocked got given apples. The parents were pleased, the kids less so

mydogisthebest · 13/10/2017 23:13

I don't open the door unless I am expecting someone or a delivery. Where I live you get a lot of people selling things, Jehovah's witnesses, charity collectors etc and I get sick and tired of them.

I used to answer the door but then in 1 day I got someone asking if I wanted a window cleaner, someone asking if I wanted my front garden paved, a double glazing salesman, a charity collector who was very pushy, a Jehovah's witness and finally, a guy selling meat. I told him me and DH are vegetarian, which is true, and he got quite stroppy as though he didn't believe me. He then said "I heard your dog barking and I bet he eats meat"! After that I decided I was not opening the door to a load of timewasters.

I was then working at home and my office was upstairs so I had to keep stopping, coming downstairs and trying to get rid of whatever idiot was at the door. I don't work at home any more but just can't be bothered opening the door.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 13/10/2017 23:17

I only open the door if i'm expecting something in the post. Sometimes it ends up not being for me, but i just don't have the balls to say "i'm not interested" when someone is trying to talk me in to something.

GingerIvy · 13/10/2017 23:23

I only open the door if I'm expecting someone or a delivery. Otherwise, it's just sales people or religious people, neither of which I am interested in talking to. I do get annoyed when someone rings our bell looking for a neighbour who is not home (small block of flats). No, I'm not going to let you in to leave a note on their door - I don't know you from Adam. I eventually just reached a point where I ignore the door unless expecting someone. Not afraid, just have a life and don't feel the need to scurry over to open the door for every salesperson or religious nut that rings the bell.

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LexieLulu · 13/10/2017 23:44

I don't live in a nice area and my old next door neighbours used to deal drugs.

I don't answer the door really. I think it's more common sense than being paranoid

CoughLaughFart · 13/10/2017 23:57

Bluntness, why are you so obsessed by the fact that some people you don't know and will never meet choose not to answer their own front door? Assuming you're not homeless, you have your own front door, which you can answer to whoever you please at any time of the day or night. Hell, take it off the hinges and hang a banner reading 'Come one, come all' for all I or anyone else cares. But why does it bother you so much that others don't?

Slimthistime · 14/10/2017 00:21

To be clear I was taking the piss out of bingbong.

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