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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to not know why you wouldn't be able to feed your DC's breakfast?

511 replies

Bearlover16 · 12/10/2017 18:06

Daughters school has recently extended the 'paid' breakfast club to 'free' breakfast club due to an increase in the number of children going to school not having had any breakfast.

Are people really that much on the bread line that they cannot buy a loaf of bread or some cheap porridge oats for less than a quid?

I'm not well off by any means and I do donate to food banks when I can. I also ensure my dcs have had breakfast before leaving the house as I was always led to believe it's the most important meal of the day.

OP posts:

Rankellior · 12/10/2017 18:09

Are the no breakfast kids paying for breakfast club or additional kids that just turn up? Surely anyone paying for breakfast club send their kids without having breakfast as that’s the point?

Ummmmgogo · 12/10/2017 18:11

some families really are struggling. some dc are very naughty at breakfast time and dilly dally so you are more likely to be on time if you leave without feeding them and then they eat at school. some kids just prefer the school breakfast. some are jealous that their friends get to have breakfast at school and want to too. some families are chaotic and might not have bread and milk in every morning. these are all the reasons I can think of.

BeyondThePage · 12/10/2017 18:14

My kids have to get up early and head out for the school bus over an hour before school starts - they don't want to eat anything at that time of the morning. They would however eat after they got to school - good compromise for us. Nice to be free, but would pay for it if needed.

TheHungryDonkey · 12/10/2017 18:15

Yes there really are. There are also families who like me have been homeless with no facilities to prepare food, make food or even store food. I did pay for breakfast at breakfast clubs, but they are not fun perks for people in dire situations.

cheminotte · 12/10/2017 18:18

Yes they are. Wales has free breakfast clubs in every primary school, which I personally think is much better than the free lunches for ks1 only in England.
Everyone gets it
No need to build kitchens etc
Childcare as well as breakfast.

DC's school has a before school club with no food available.

Butterymuffin · 12/10/2017 18:19

Some parents are in dire circumstances, others can't be arsed. Either way it's not the kids' fault and this scheme ensures they get fed, which is the most important thing about it.

WorraLiberty · 12/10/2017 18:20

Free breakfast clubs can make a huge difference to schools that have a problem with pupils turning up late. This is why it's free at my local primary.

It's much easier to get a family ready and out the door, without having to worry about breakfast and all the stress that can sometimes bring.

The kids turn up hungry and enjoy eating with their friends, before starting lessons on time.

Willyoujustbequiet · 12/10/2017 18:21

Are you really that naive? yes some people cannot afford to feed their children. That's why foodbanks exist.

I know a single father on the minimum wage. His ex gets all the child benefits but as he wants to work he has about £25 leftover once all essential bills are paid. He often goes hungry so that he can feed his girls come the weekend.

It's a miserable existence.

RedForFilth · 12/10/2017 18:21

If you're that poor then no amount of believing it to be the most important meal of the day will magic food on the table or money in your account. Also, some people don't have access to things like microwaves or kettles. Or maybe they're on an electric meter and can't spare the electricity.
I know many people who can't face food at that time in the morning too. There's loads of reasons that I bet you could have thought of if you put yourself in the shoes of other people, especially those less fortunate than perhaps yourself

limon · 12/10/2017 18:24

Anyone who doesnt realise that Poverty levels are such that families - often working families - can't adequately feed and clothe their children needs to get out of their comfort zone and take notice. Universal credit was on the national news this week - there are people waiting months for money topsy rent and feed themselves.

Ragwort · 12/10/2017 18:25

Some peoples' lives are so chaotic that they probably can't sort out breakfast; they may be very depressed, living with DV, incredibly anxious, perhaps having to start shift work really early, maybe they don't eat breakfast themselves and don't really see the need to give breakfast to their children etc etc. We should not judge the choices other people make.

autumnrainandbooks · 12/10/2017 18:25

It is generally down to chaos not cost.

JonSnowsWife · 12/10/2017 18:42

Are people really that much on the bread line that they cannot buy a loaf of bread or some cheap porridge oats for less than a quid?

Yes. Firstly you need money to buy these things. If you're a single parent whose just fled domestic violence and is still waiting for your benefits to come through. You'll struggle. You also need gas and or electric to cook the porridge. How do you propose to do that if you've not got £ for food?

It's not ideal but sometimes, these free breakfast club schemes can make a shit life just a little less shitter.

Ivehadtonamechangeforthis · 12/10/2017 18:54

Yes YABU.

I frequently went to school without breakfast not because my parents couldn't afford to feed me but because I used to refuse to get out of bed or fart around until we were running late.

DeadEnders · 12/10/2017 18:59

Have you been living in a remote Tibetan village until today OP?

Maplestaple · 12/10/2017 19:06

Some families are struggling but some are just neglectful.

Stood outside school the other day and a parent smoking a spliff comes along with her 4 children. Poor girls were saying they were so hungry and could mummy remember to feed them breakfast in the morning I was so angry.

Papafran · 12/10/2017 19:09

Yes, and some children grow up in very chaotic homes where the parents might have substance abuse or alcohol problems. If mum is hungover and hasn't bothered getting milk in and the bread is mouldy, what can 7 year old Johnny do about it? It's not always about not being able to pay for it.

YABU

Brittbugs80 · 12/10/2017 19:12

DS has a child in his class whose parents only give him one meal a day. He gets a free breakfast and a free dinner at school and Social Services are involved. The school even give him a new winter coat from lost property and uniform because mom refuses to buy it. She smokes, has an iPhone and drives an Audi though.

So you are being unreasonable and a bit sneery to be honest.

Seniorcitizen1 · 12/10/2017 19:13

Mix of poverty and lazy feckless parenting

JonSnowsWife · 12/10/2017 19:18

Mix of poverty and lazy feckless parenting

Shall have to tell my Grandma that one. My Mother, her youngest daughter who will soon be 60, has never eaten breakfast in her life. The same for my DCs Dad. I have never seen either eat breakfast before 9am. They just cant stomach it. So they mainline coffee instead and have an early lunch.

I'm sure both their parents who worked fucking hard to provide for them would be lumped into the lazy feckless parents box.

DS has ASD and would never eat at breakfast club. He would go for the games and that though. He was fed beforehand. The breakfast club was a calmer way of easing him into the day with no meltdowns.

There are many a reasons why breakfast clubs might work.

Count yourself lucky OP. Our schools breakfast club now (DS moved schools) is extortionate in my opinion now a tad too pricey. I think they're M&S cornflakes

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 12/10/2017 19:21

It's always happened. When I was a baby my mum used to buy breakfast for the kids she taught because otherwise they would steal milk from people's front doors; they were not fed at all at home. She worked in a school for children who has been excluded from mainstream education, and in many cases it was because they were neglected at home.

What is really sad is that kids are still suffering like this nearly 40 years later. At least having free breakfasts is an attempt to help without stigmatising the children who really need it.

JonSnowsWife · 12/10/2017 19:22

MapleStaple I hope you reported that to the Pastoral office.

That kind of shit used to boil my piss.

queenthequeen · 12/10/2017 19:22

Bit of a difference between adults choosing not to have breakfast and not giving children anything before school.

Papafran · 12/10/2017 19:24

Well I am guessing the kids who refuse to eat breakfast aren't going to be lining up at breakfast club.... . We are talking about kids who go to school hungry and who would eat it if it was provided to them.

Original poster

Bearlover16 · 12/10/2017 19:28

Okay maybe not toast and porridge as some of you have kindly mentioned about the cost of electricity. But what about a box of cereal? Own brand ones cost pennies and I can always find milk in the reduced section...often buy it myself.

OP posts:

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