Aibu to not know why you wouldn't be able to feed your DC's breakfast?

[Bearlover16]

Daughters school has recently extended the 'paid' breakfast club to 'free' breakfast club due to an increase in the number of children going to school not having had any breakfast.

Are people really that much on the bread line that they cannot buy a loaf of bread or some cheap porridge oats for less than a quid?

I'm not well off by any means and I do donate to food banks when I can. I also ensure my dcs have had breakfast before leaving the house as I was always led to believe it's the most important meal of the day.

[FloraAnnie]

There was a kid in my son's class whose mother worked shifts and got home at 4am. Her kids were expected to get themselves up and out to school while she was still asleep. She used to leave digestive biscuits on the table for them to eat as breakfast. The one in my son's class was doing this at age 8. She was a single mother who had her first child just after she turned 16, and she just wasn't coping with life. I'm sure she loved her kids, and wanted the best for them, but their home life was chaotic. I think all the kids ended up being taken into care.

[AJPTaylor]

free breakfast clubs without means testing are a great way of getting food into kids who need it and getting kids into school on time. the kids are ready to get the most out of their education.
the return on investment must be massive.

[JonSnowsWife]

It’s not the school’s job to compensate for poor or neglectful parenting.

@SirGawain my Mother and her Sister have never eaten breakfast in the fifty years they've been alive. Both their parents worked full time and were amazing parents. Even if they did have a breakfast club, free or not, they still wouldn't have eaten it.

Which part of that is poor or neglectful parenting?

Gosh with these sort or silly judgemental posts we're one step away from a poster asking why the feckless poor are simply just lazy if they don't walk six miles to their nearest countryside to forage a handful of blackberries for free...

[mintteaandbananabread]

What on earth has that got to do with kids who should be getting breakfast, but aren't?
Nothing at all.

[RavingRoo]

Sometimes you have to prioritize your limited money - growing up mum never provided breakfast as we got a lunch at school and then I made dinner when I got home. Now I have money dh and I ensure the kids get a full cooked breakfast - eggs, toast, fruit, milk. Means they need to wake up at 6am for it but that’s life.

[JonSnowsWife]

What on earth has that got to do with kids who should be getting breakfast, but aren't?

Eh? I was replying to the silly judgemental posts about people assuming those who dont have breakfasts are simply the product of lazy parenting. I have discussed other issues too, throughout the thread.

[JonSnowsWife]

Sometimes you have to prioritize your limited money - growing up mum never provided breakfast as we got a lunch at school and then I made dinner when I got home. Now I have money dh and I ensure the kids get a full cooked breakfast - eggs, toast, fruit, milk. Means they need to wake up at 6am for it but that’s life.

no thanks

She has to leave stupidly early as it is. She'll snatch every last minute of sleep.

[Fresh8008]

The truth is that a lot of people prefer to spend their money on [insert vice of choice] than feeding their children.

It easier to get sympathy when you claim you cant afford to feed your children than claim you cant pay for sky, or drug of choice, or iphone8....

[JonSnowsWife]

The truth is that a lot of people prefer to spend their money on [insert vice of choice] than feeding their children.

[insert vice of choice] such as?

Isn't that a bit presumptuous to just assume a lot of people who are struggling must be on weed/smoke/drinks?

[Tinysarah1985]

Luckly we’re not on the breadline but it is impossible for me to get my daughter to eat breakfast. I’m lucky if i can get her to eat half a slice of toast and a yoghurt drink. And i feel such a rubbish mum when i drop
Her off at nursery and explain to them that i’ve sat with her for an hour and she has refused to eat.

[seasidesally]

do you know what im sick of people who's "chaotic" lives who dont care/expect other people to do their job being a parent and dont give a dam about their even basic needs

but in all honesty im so pleased that the school's are doing this for those children that will not get feed,the children atleast know there will be food and i really cant imagine what them poor children go through and being used to an empty fridge/cupboard frequently

im talking chaotic familys not benefit sanctions,low wages etc

[Bearlover16]

I don't think 'chaotic lives' is a sufficient excuse though. I have 2 Dcs one who is severely disabled and I still manage to get myself, and them out of bed, dressed and fed for school every morning.

[BarbarianMum]

IME (preschool) the "can't get my shit together to get the kids fed before school " parents outnumbered the "can't afford to feed my feed my kids breakfast" by about 5:1. There are a quite a few people out there who don't really prioritise their own kids - and then there are those who regularly go without themselves to ensure their kids do not.

[Mulch]

Change chaotic to dysfunctional, not the kids fault either ways and still need a decent meal

[mintteaandbananabread]

I don't think 'chaotic lives' is a sufficient excuse though

When presented with hungry children, do you really think you should be deciding which ones have a good enough excuse? You want to dole out toast only to those you think are deserving enough?

[BarbarianMum]

That's true Mulch but are schools stepping in the answer? What happens to the kids that are too young to be at school? Or during the school holidays?

It shouldn't be acceptable in our society to have people who can't afford to feed their kuds or who choose not to.

[KityGlitr]

OP, the fact you manage to do that shows that's not quite what's meant by chaotic. Usually refers to the toxic trio of substance misuse, domestic violence and mental health issues. When those are present in the home kids suffer greatly, emotionally and often physically. Chaotic doesn't mean it's a rush and a bit of chaos in the morning to get everyone ready in time, it might mean your mum is on Heroin and too preoccupied with getting a fix so she is able to function, or dad is hitting your mum so she has other things to think about, or there's simply no adult regularly present to ensure any kind of continuity, your single dad is too depressed and off his meds to be able to get out of bed let alone get up, get kids up, sort out clean uniform pack a lunch organise breakfast and get the kids to school/s on time.

You have no idea from the sounds of it just how chaotic some kids lives are. It's not their fault. Initiatives like breakfast clubs help even the playing field a bit between kids whose parents can provide for their needs and kids whose parents are unable or unwilling to.

[mintteaandbananabread]

That's true Mulch but are schools stepping in the answer? What happens to the kids that are too young to be at school? Or during the school holidays

What is the answer then? It's the simplest, easiest way to target the children in need. And I don't understand the "some kids are too young so lets not give all the rest who are not too young some breakfast" or they can't have it in the holidays so don't give it the rest of the time. How does that help?

[loveisasecondhandemotion]

Out school has a harvest festival tomorrow and part of that has been to request food from parents for the local food bank.

The irony being that there are a large number of children at the school who don't eat well at all( I am involved with school so know this but obviously don't know all of the details ) and parents are under pressure to send in a few tins/packets/jars of food that may impact their own children's meals for the coming week.
It's a sad situation to be in, in 2017.

[PickAChew]

I'm beginning to think you're wilfully "misunderstanding" what is meant by a chaotic life, Bearlover. I have 2 disabled children, but that is not what makes lives chaotic. Chaotic families are living very much in the moment without the ability - whether financial or mental - to plan ahead and budget or follow a routine that is of benefit to the kids. The adults in these families might have addictions, mental illness or learning difficulties which act as major obstacles to caring for children and ensuring that they're clean and fed and happy.

[KityGlitr]

I'm starting to think bearlover is indeed wilfully misunderstanding... she posted asking why breakfast clubs exist, plenty of posters have told her myriad reasons, some from personal experience, and all she can reply with is 'but that's not good enough, cereal is cheap! My life is chaotic and I cope!' instead of actually learning from the replies or taking any of it in. Maybe feels good to feel superior to those idiot parents who can't even feed their kid breakfast eh?

[x2boys]

My son goes to a special school he has complex disabilities they give them tuck mid morning which is cereal , toast etc we pay a £1 a week for this my son is always provided with breakfast sometimes he will eat it sometimes he won't.

[x2boys]

At home I mean my on is always provided with breakfast.

[mummmy2017]

When I was young, 4 decades ago, we used to have Milk and biscuits at 10.30 break, the teachers must have provided them, as i remember being given money and loaded a bike to pop to the shop as we had run out.
60 children in all as a small school, but the Headmaster would insist we all sat and ate and drank before we could go out to play, looking back I do wonder if he did it to give us all a midday treat, so we were fresh to start lessons after play.
The food was cooked on site, and was very tasty, and 2nds were always available, even the kids who had sandwiches, got some if they wanted them, even the left over puddings were put on the coal bunkers outside for us to munch on. I do realise that some how we seemed have had a great school, and in taking away free school meals they may have cut the budgets, but the kids seem to suffer in the long run.

[AnyFucker]

Aren't you a fucking delight ?