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Original poster

DH wanting to go hiking on family weekend away.

342 replies

PooFlower · 11/10/2017 13:41

We are off to the Lake district for a Fri to Mon weekend away with our two dc.
DH has announced he plans to go for a short hike (2 hours) on the Sat and a long walk (5-6 hours) on the Sunday. He says he will get up at first light and go so he is back in time to do other things.
Am I being unreasonable to ask him not to?
I dont mind him going for a short walk each morning however a long walk will ruin the weekend for me. He will go to bed early the night before, probably wake dd2 up if he gets up early and be shattered and fit for nothing when he gets back.
I feel mean though. He loves hiking but hardly gets to go these days. I wouldn't mind so much if we were away for a week but think it will impact the holiday too much as with it only being a short break.

OP posts:
MegBusset · 11/10/2017 14:25

Walking is not an esoteric hobby surely, just something normal people do? Confused

Nikephorus · 11/10/2017 14:25

Going to the lake district and watching DVDs sounds a bit shit TBH.
Exactly. What's the point in going somewhere like this and not enjoying the scenery?

Hillarious · 11/10/2017 14:25

What kind of things does your DD like doing, OP, to stop her being bored and sulky?

Time40 · 11/10/2017 14:26

I think you are being very unreasonable! The poor man wants to do two things in two days, which will take up eight hours in total. In two full days, there are about 32 hours available. He wants a quarter of the available time to himself, to do something he loves, and which he doesn't usually get chance to do. That sounds fine to me. If I really wanted to do something healthy and active, but someone was trying to force me to sit around watching DVDs instead, it would drive me bonkers - there's nothing worse than house arrest when you want to be up and out.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 11/10/2017 14:26

Pub lunches, DVDs and hot chocolate don't need you to leave home so it seems like a waste of being in the Lakes to me
I agree. Why visit the lakes if not for serious walking. The above can be done anywhere at any time of day. How about you all go on the short 2 hour walk on the Saturday and he can go on the longer walk (alone if no-one else wants to) on the Sunday? Did you not discuss what you wanted from the weekend away before you booked it or has he suddenly sprung his ideas on you?

Balaboosteh · 11/10/2017 14:28

See I don't get this thing about bored and sulky. Your DH needs to step up and do the work to introduce his 13 YO to his passion. Don't leave it too late to start with the little one. Hike together!

Theresamayscough · 11/10/2017 14:28

Look op shall we go on holiday together and these keep fit super Amazonian types can go with your dh??

You get the hot chocolate and films and I will light the fire and bring the wine Wink

TheCowWentMoo · 11/10/2017 14:29

I dont understand why you cant all do the 2 hr one? If its only 2 hrs I cant imagine its anything that strenuous in the lakes.
Let him do the 5-6hr one + the dc if they want and then the rest of you can start with him but do a more gentle hike, theres quite a few walks like that in the lake district, then have a late pub lunch/early dinner, then back in time for a film in the evening. I dont really understand why you are going to the lakes if 2 hr walk is too much for you, to me it feels a bit weird to go to the lake district and not want to go walking.

TatianaLarina · 11/10/2017 14:30

At that time of year there’s about 8 daylight hours per day.

If 6 are spent on a hike, that leaves 2 left to spend with your family.

I appreciate DH likes walking, so do I, but he seems to have forgotten he’s going on holiday with his family not by himself.

TheCowWentMoo · 11/10/2017 14:31

Tbh if he likes hiking I cant imagine anything worse than being stuck inside watching DVDs while in the lakes.

Hillarious · 11/10/2017 14:31

Your DC have got to learn to appreciate the wow factor of the view from the top of a hill. It's not the length of the walk that's an issue, but the bored and sulkiness of the oldest DC that needs to be addressed (for her own benefit).

Bubbinsmakesthree · 11/10/2017 14:32

I really have no idea why you are all going to the Lake District at some expense if your DH is the only one interested in hiking and you don't want him to do it. Confused

WhatWouldGenghisDo · 11/10/2017 14:32

Pp made a good point: what would the DH's response be if OP suddenly announced she was going off alone to do a hobby for 6 hours of one of the days?

If it would be anything other than 'certainly darling' then this is symptomatic of a power imbalance in the relationship which I would personally find unacceptable

LionAllMessy · 11/10/2017 14:32

Our parents took us every single year, and we'd walk 2-6 hours every day! I did it when I was 5, I did it when I was 13 (I'm sure I sulked a lot) and every year in between.

Kids these days don't even know they're born! Grumble grumble.

NapQueen · 11/10/2017 14:33

Id say to him "enjoy the two hour walk on your own as you will be taking the 13yo with you on the 5 6 hour one".

Boulshired · 11/10/2017 14:33

I was in the lakes in the summer and found it quite sad that the walks are empty and the coffee shops full. There are plenty of walks that are not strenuous and easily broken up if you have toddlers. The 13 year old might surprise you, it was at the age I got into hiking whilst visiting the lakes.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 11/10/2017 14:33

If he 'announced' it as a 'done deal' he'd get told to 'dream on'. It's a family weekend away and we can discuss what we'd all like to do & make plans are that suit everyone in the family. Don't fucking attempt to TELL me how we will all be fitting in around YOUR plans.

If, on the other hand, he said that's what he'd LIKE to do & how did it fit in with what I wanted to do & what would need/want to do with/for the kids, then no problem. We'd work something out that would mean he'd get to do that, but maybe at a different time or the short one together or something.

Also though, I couldn't live with someone who couldn't get out of the house without waking other people up who are sleeping in other rooms. Its's just rude & inconsiderate.

RubyWinterstorm · 11/10/2017 14:34

Can your DH compromise? can you do, say , a 1,5- 2 hour walk the 4 of your and then in the afternoon he can go off and walk more whilst you and kids chill out?

I regularly make my 13 yr old come for walks Grin

LionAllMessy · 11/10/2017 14:35

Pp made a good point: what would the DH's response be if OP suddenly announced she was going off alone to do a hobby for 6 hours of one of the days?

Normally I'd agree 100%, but this situation is kind of like if you booked a trip to Disney world, then said you wanted to just go on one ride and then chill in the hotel, while complaining that your OH said he/she was gonna spend 6 hours in the park going on the rides.

oldlaundbooth · 11/10/2017 14:36

I'd let him have one day to hike. I like hiking too and I understand that he doesn't have time to do it often with young kids.

And he can take your pouty 13 year old too... They are capable of walking for 5 hours!

Caulkheadupnorf · 11/10/2017 14:37

Last new year I was away with a group of friends (about 40 people, adults and children). Anyone over about 5 did a 5 hour hike, and it ended up being a great activity for everyone. Some of those children had grown up walking a lot but for others it was a new thing. The more you do this as a family then then easier it begins. Definitely do 2 hours today on one day and then maybe something longer on the other. Good shoes and play some games whilst walking if you need to.

oldlaundbooth · 11/10/2017 14:38

Let's face it if they do Hellvelyn your teen will certainly sleep that night.

Original poster
PooFlower · 11/10/2017 14:38

We will get there on Friday afternoon so will go for a small walk then watch dvds as it will be going dark. On the Sat we plan to go to Bowness or Ambleside and possibly go on a Windermere cruise. The Sunday is free at the moment but that's when DH wants to do a big walk. I would prefer to have a drive up to Keswick or down to Kendal, Its also New years eve so there might be something to do at night but not sure about that yet.
I don't want to spend the whole weekend watching films and drinking hot chocolate.

OP posts:
chaplin1409 · 11/10/2017 14:39

I would love a trip to the lakes. My dh loves walking and would want to do a good full day walking while we were there then we would do shortly family walks the other days.

DistanceCall · 11/10/2017 14:39

I agree with PPs regarding the DVDs and chocolate. If that's all you want to do, why the hell not stay at home? (And yes, for someone who actually likes hiking, it's extremely frustrating to be cooped in - particularly when you are going to a place where you're meant to be hiking, not sitting on your arses).