DH wanting to go hiking on family weekend away.

[PooFlower]

We are off to the Lake district for a Fri to Mon weekend away with our two dc.
DH has announced he plans to go for a short hike (2 hours) on the Sat and a long walk (5-6 hours) on the Sunday. He says he will get up at first light and go so he is back in time to do other things.
Am I being unreasonable to ask him not to?
I dont mind him going for a short walk each morning however a long walk will ruin the weekend for me. He will go to bed early the night before, probably wake dd2 up if he gets up early and be shattered and fit for nothing when he gets back.
I feel mean though. He loves hiking but hardly gets to go these days. I wouldn't mind so much if we were away for a week but think it will impact the holiday too much as with it only being a short break.

Spas. Long baths. Being bought a meal (with your own money as married).
Women really are cheaply bought aren't we?
I am wondering WTF the older child will make of this - mum forced to watch us while dad walks, then dad forced to watch us while mum saunas. Shouldn't a family holiday be as much about choosing fun stuff for the children to do?

I note that the posters advocating " separate holidays " to " strengthen a marriage " actually mean " he goes off with his mates while you look after the kids "

Yes uptheduffy - I always wonder about the advice of being bought a meal. Surely in most circumstances finances are joint - and if they aren't that's a whole other thread of worms- so why would being bought a meal, that you've presumably also contributed to either by employment or through providing at home childcare - be seen as some sort of treat?

Newsflash - just because your children behave in a certain way, that doesn't mean all other children behave that way!

We love a walk in the hills, and on the right day DS does too. Mis-judge the walk or the mood and it is just horrendous. Last time DS stumbled into boggy ground (DH had got too far ahead to help him through ). DS took his shoes off as they were wet and refused to put them back on again. Everyone in horrible mood and it falls to me to jolly us out of it and plan the route out the boggy ground. Don't start me on the herd of cows and electric fence.

Forget the middle-class judge-a-thon on the merits of hillwalking, the purpose of the Lakes and what counts as a long walk, the point is Op's DH wants to task her with occupying the kids for an extended portion of a family weekend. I'd be raging.

Me too tbh

I mean, would it be acceptable for the OP to piss off shopping for 8 hours if they were on a family weekend in London?

The merits or not of the actual family-less activity, is not actually the point.

Fell walking is middle class?

It hardly seems to be defined by middle-classness judging by the people I have chatted to on various walks.

Are people presuming that middle class M-ers are supporting MC Dad's love of walkig instead of a presumed working class mother's wish to go for a short walk and then go shopping?

Are fudge shops working class?

Is the pencil museum working class?

LOL @ walking being 'middle class'. Here's a great tip for you 'middle class' people who can't afford actual rainproof trousers. Score some of those trackie bottoms with zips at the ankle from a charity shop or Ebay. Use wash-in Nikwax on them. Works a treat! Great for kids, too, who go and outgrow gear in no time.

Hill walking is not a middle class hobby, or at least it wasn't a generation ago. Check out the Kinder Trespass photo here, which was a pre-war protest to get protection for right of access to the hills for people living in industrial towns and cities and getting out to the Peak District as a lifeline during their precious days off, using public transport.

That's brilliant, Expat. Does it genuinely work? DS has at least two pairs of cheapy tracksuit trousers lurking in a drawer upstairs.

Can I do it to school trousers too??

Skin dries quicker than any material - nothing wrong with shorts! :o

Aye, it works, Lance. I used just such on two ways up here. One, the last day, in Northumbria, I was warm and dry despite it's lashing down. Last year on Old Man of Conniston and the two other peaks on the ridge in October, did just fine. Still cannot afford the proper trousers so up I go, Skafell and Skafell Pike with them next week, I'll have my leggings under my walking trous with those in reserve. Just use the wash in Nikwax. So middle class me, with my cheap gear. The one thing I make sure are the best are my boots. My Merrell's with elastic laces so they don't come loose and memory foam inserts and heel lift for my left foot, went top of the range with those.

If hiking was cycling everybody would be on the OP’s side.

Can't afford dry bags except the one for my survival gear so use good plastic bags for the rest. Always the OS map in the map holder (waterproof) and black eyeliner for a marking pencil and my old Silva compass. I was well-trained in map and compass skill and never bother with gadgets, as anything that registers altitude can be affected by low pressure, so it's best to stick to map and compass.

'If hiking was cycling everybody would be on the OP’s side.'

Only if the other party were not willing to swap out, so each has equal amount of free time. We swap out. I go do Skafell and Skafell Pike one day, he goes off another day (he likes to mountain bike so that's usually what he goes off and does, but again, it's his day). I have a boozy night out with mates, he goes out another night. We're also both walkers. I took a week to do a way with a mate, he went off on a trip another time. Neither one of us cares much for shopping, and we cannot afford pub lunches, even though walking/hiking is apparently middle class.

How about a compromise. If you get dh to see that hiking could be something you all enjoy in the long term future he may agree to try a family hike.

Walk round a lake-you don't need to be fit as it will be flat. It is fairly sheltered, usually and won't take 6 hours, more like two or three, followed by lunch. The scenery should inspire awe in anyone of any age. Get them to take photos and videos on their phones and put the best ones on the wall with clip frame when you're home.

Get the 13 y old to choose a venue for lunch within your budget by researching herself in advance.

Then get back to the accommodation and get cosy with the hot choc etc. 6y old chooses DVD. If dh wants to head off for hike on his own after, let him. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Also get him into fell running-it's quicker and the best sport ever.

I find the shoppers in the town funny when they're in suspiciously clean high performance gear and walking poles just ambling around Keswick taking pics. Meanwhile there's people being rescued off Skiddaw who've got jeans and a t-shirt and no means of navigating and pissed.

OP, would he plan a geocaching walk to take both dc on, while you do something of your choice for a few hours? Or take them for a shopping treat.

And if not, then why would he think its ok to go off himself for half a day?

I'm on both their sides :)

I think it would be a shame to go to the lakes and not walk if that is your passion, but equally when you have a partner and children you do need to also consider everyone's needs. I think it's a good thing for your children to see that adults can still have interests and a life outside the family circle while still being a good parent.

I think it's fair to allow one decent walk that doesn't take too much family time and it's up to the OP if she wants to do something on this holiday by herself or with older DD maybe while her DH does something with younger DD that she would enjoy more. being a family doesn't mean that you all have to be glued together 24/7.

There are also many walks in the Lakes depending on where they are based. It doesn't necessarily need to be either a 2 hour stroll or a 6 hour bigger walk, there might be something in between?

The OP may want more time to herself on the next holiday.

And it's all very well saying that the DH should save the walks for going away with like minded people/mates etc. But surely that is more time away from family and more cost?