Angry stepmum needs to vent

[actuallyspeechless]

Just that really.
I've been moaned at before for letting my DPs ex take up headspace but when you have upset kids in your house it's hard not to.
So now this bio mother who paints herself out to be an 'amazing mummy' and us to be evil bastards has cut off the final way DSC could contact her. Literally nothing now. And the fact that she's done it right after contact was made by DSC is utterly heartbreaking. How can someone be so fucking cruel.
Backstory is long but don't want to be inundated with 'detach' and 'oh you again' but in a nutshell bio mother chose NC but never admitted it to anyone else but us and the DSC

allthelightsgoout have you never just had a real bad day and wanted to rant. But you cant rant out loud because the kids dont need to hear it. Or her dp is tired and doesnt want to engage. Surely its healthier to come on here and vent and maybe be reassured she is doing the right thing.

I JUST WANT TO VENT!
WHERE DSC CANT HEAR ME!!
IF YOU HAVE SUCH AN ISSUE WITH ME AND MY STORY THEN FEEL FREE TO SCROLL ON PAST OR BLOCK ME.
SOMETHING TELLS ME YOURE ONE OF THE 'SOMEONES' SHE KNOWS ONLINE BUT HEY HO

then maybe aibu was a bad choice?

Op you will always get people here willing ti rip you apart from any slight phrase etc. Its a weird place. Dont feel you cant continue to use this as a soundboard.

AIBU to vent about this?
Or as a step mum should I just shut the fuck up and take what's thrown at me? If it helps I have my own DC and I have NO issue with the eldest having a relationship with their DFs partner - in fact their relationship is amazing and I appreciate her immensely. She's also reassured DSC when she's done drop offs and pick ups she's a fucking superstar!

Then don't keep namechanging to post the same stuff and want people to validate you and pretend they haven't done it over and over again before and given actual advice over and over before.

That's the internet for you. You don't get to say 'pay attention to me but not that attention...the attention I want' again and again. People recognise you and post as such.

I'm not one of the 'someones she knows online'. I'm one of the someones that knows YOU online - because you keep on and on and on about it without wanting advice, just wanting MORE people to say she's a cunt and you're a saint. How much more of that do you need?

Maybe you spend too much time on MN because I don't post here regularly

OP : bio mum is awful to the kids and has just gone no contact. I just need to vent.
Replies: omg you used bio mum!
I'm so offended!
I haven't read the full thread but you're wrong.
Why do you want to vent?
Why are you venting?
Why are you posting on AIBU?!??!

Fuck me this place is so fucked up sometimes.

Allthelightsgoout

Jeez give it a rest.

OP you are doing a great job under such enormous pressure. It is so unfathomable that a mother can just abandon their child without good reason. In your case, I think you are being far too kind in calling her a mother. You are their mother - you don't need to have given birth to them. You are the one who loves and nurtures them, who wipes their tears and kisses their wounds better. You set your feelings aside for your children's wellbeing, whereas the woman thrives on hate and bitterness.

You are struggling to understand how this woman is thinking, her mindset, how she can do such a horrible thing to your beautiful children. I'm afraid you'll never be able to understand, and thank goodness you won't.

Put her out of your mind and enjoy your children.

Nobody even knows if the Mum is what OP claims she’s is. This is of course just one side of the story.

You can say the same about every fricking thread on MN, or on any forum everywhere! If we required both sides of the story for every thread there would be nothing on MN FFS!

Yes, it's utter rubbish to have someone try and oust you from your own child's life simply by their chance relationship with the same person you once had a relationship with

Except thats not whats happening here is it?

I get it op. Its shit when youre seeing a child you love and care about getting shit all over by a person who is supposed to love them the most.

Some mothers are just shit!

@Smartiepants87 maybe the angry in the title could've given you a hint about OP's state of mind?
She's not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows is she?
What's your excuse?

smartiepants its funny what watching a child who you care about have their heart broken does to a person.

I want to tell people to fuck off,and it's not even my thread or my kids.

Would any of you speak to someone in RL that way no you wouldn't so why would it be acceptable to speak to strangers online? I'm out of this thread I rather offer advice to who are respectful others not swearing at people.

I would gladly tell someone to fuck off if they focused on my language rather than the fact my step sons mother is an abusive piece of shit, yes.

I imagine op feels similar.

Nobody even knows if the Mum is what OP claims she’s is. This is of course just one side of the story. Like has been said, why post over and over , just because she wants to hear how awful the mother is and how wonderful she is.

I presume you post that on threads about abusive relationships too. After all that's only one side if the story.

Or is this because the OP is a SM?

Newsflash.... some 'mothers' are pieces of shit who don't deserve the title.

Peppapigearworm

*The English language says "biological mother" is a term that's appropriate any time you need to distinguish from any other kind of mother. Any other connotations you need to justify without reference to a dictionary

Actually the english language says that "mother" is enough of a signifier on its own.

Those who hate the term bio mum. What other term do you want???

Mother. Because that is what she is. She may be a terrible one but she is their mother. It doesn't need a prefix. She is their mother.*

Sorry, as an adoptive mum I find this offensive. I am my DDs’ mother. Yes they have a bio mother, who we refer to as ‘tummy mummy’. We didn’t rename them, we use the names that she gave our DDs.

But I am the mother who they know, and who they come to in the night if they’ve had a bad dream. And who celebrates with them when they win medals at gymnastics.

In an ideal world, the birth/bio mother will be the mother that children call mother. But bio mother is the right term in the OP’s post. Because she is the one who is being mother to her SCs.

I swear some of the posters on here are her minions 😂 believe me I would much rather NOT be having to vent on an Internet forum about a woman that has made my family life so god damn difficult!