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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You've been pigged?

251 replies

RainbowsAndCrystals · 09/10/2017 21:18

Aibu to think you wouldn't share this story with the papers?

Read it on The Mail so I won't link but basically British girl meets Dutch guy in Barcelona. He spends the next 3/4 months calling her and asking her to come over to Amsterdam.

She does and then he never shows up at the airport and texts her to say "you've been pigged"

Basically means pulling an ugly girl to then dump her.

He denies it but even if he did do aibu to think you would never tell this story to the world?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2017 18:22

Her mom was very pushy on the interview.

MargaretTwatyer · 10/10/2017 18:26

I think it's probably snowballed rather than it being a conscious revenge plot. Normally these things go on social media, friends share it, a local journo picks it up then the nationals get hold of it.

If they offered her money she would probably go for it.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 10/10/2017 18:36

I think if it happened to me I would start out feeling humiliated and embarrassed and then I would think 'fuck it, why should I feel ashamed when he's the one in the wrong?' At that point you might think about going public as a way to try to take some control back (naive as that might be considering how things snowball when the press get hold of them). It makes psychological sense to me that she would do this.

diddl · 10/10/2017 18:51

If it serves as a cautionary tale to others-especially the flying to see someone she didn't really know-then that's a good thing.

I found her mum really annoyingBlush & do wish that she had let her daughter speak.

How many times do we still read about older women handing all their savings to younger men with a proise of marriage?

PoorYorick · 10/10/2017 19:14

Joey, the point you're wilfully missing in your quest to insert the interests of your penis into any discussion is that it's utterly irrelevant whether she's overweight, ugly or not.

As it is, I don't believe this story is true because there appears to be absolutely no firm evidence for it (and if it's true, the proof should exist in spades). But her weight isn't relevant. The question is, did it happen (I think not), and how common an occurrence is it for men to victimise women based on how they look?

The fact that you could wade into a debate like this and start casting aspersions on the girl's appearance as if it's in any way important shows where your real loyalties lie, why you come to Mumsnet and what a disgusting human being you are. Sod off.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/10/2017 20:06

if he made a pig reference or not but if he did then it would only have been in relation to how they had sex.

"That'll do, Pig." Grin

Not a believable comment, IMO.

The more I read about it, the more I believe her.

But I do think it's unfair for people to victimise his mother and sister. (I wonder what he would think if someone pulled this crap on his sister?)

pisacake · 10/10/2017 20:28

"How many times do we still read about older women handing all their savings to younger men with a proise of marriage?"

A fraction of the times older men do the same I should think.

zippey · 11/10/2017 08:24

Not sure why people disbelieve the woman who has provided as much evidence as she can, including a face to face interview. The man also has no evidence it DIDNT happen and keeps changing his story when more evidence of his lying come to light.

It's certain this happened, and good on her for her braveness speak out.some people might shrug it off but why should women have to shrug off abuse and bullying behaviour?

Naming and shaming has exposed this type of behaviour. Maybe it will make other men think twice before they try this on anyone.

PoorYorick · 11/10/2017 08:31

Has she provided the actual correspondence then? All I saw was a mock up. The guy doesn't have to prove his innocence and anyway, how can he prove he didn't send texts?

If the girl has the actual texts and emails from his number and address, that's a different matter.

3EyedRaven · 11/10/2017 08:31

Saying your not sure is different to saying ‘I do t know why but I don’t believe her’.
His story has changed, what, twice now?
Some people on here still wouldn’t believe her if they whole thing had been caught on camera. It would be all ‘it could have been doctored’, or ‘they’re out in on it for their five minutes’
It’s sad really.

PoorYorick · 11/10/2017 08:47

Well that might be true, but in the absence of any proof, in a situation where it would exist in abundance, you can't convict (so to speak).

A sex crime would be a different matter as by their very nature there often isn't much hard evidence. But in a case that hinges on emails and text messages? There should be a mountain of proof.

pisacake · 11/10/2017 12:30

"It's certain this happened,"

You have a strange definition of certain.

And oh look, now she's getting some (more) money.

www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/help-sophie-stevenson

DeleteOrDecay · 11/10/2017 12:34

It’s a just giving page, she hasn’t asked for that money. It’s not her fault if someone decides to raise money on her behalf.

pisacake · 11/10/2017 12:38

I do realise that but the fact is she is making £££ out of this.

MadMags · 11/10/2017 12:41

She hasn't provided all the evidence she has though. Unless she's made public the texts?!

DeleteOrDecay · 11/10/2017 12:47

I do realise that but the fact is she is making £££ out of this.

Meh, I can’t get worked up about that.

Mxyzptlk · 11/10/2017 12:51

She's doing it to get back at the guy? To warn off other jerks? To warn girls this could happen and to be careful?
Although, if true, it seems the guy went to great lengths to create the illusion of a relationship, so it's very hard for girls to guess this might be what he'll do.

Mxyzptlk · 11/10/2017 12:54

the fact is she is making £££ out of this.

She may never get that money. Who is "we" who started the page?

Creambun2 · 11/10/2017 12:56

where is actual evidence of flights and hotel bookings?

Astella22 · 11/10/2017 13:33

I think we all own this woman a debt of thanks for highlighting such a disgusting and seemingly common practice, Im honestly shocked this goes on. If she has happened to make a few £££ from her story then she more then deserves it.
How anyone can treat another person so badly is beyond me!

Nettletheelf · 11/10/2017 13:51

Steady on. I don't think that Sophie Stevenson is a brave heroine or a feminist activist.

She's a naive and, I'm sorry to say, slightly dopey girl who should have known better than to (1) sleep with a bloke she'd only just met and (2) fly off to the Netherlands at her own expense to see him when she barely knew him. However, young women are constantly sold the ridiculous 'swept off your feet' myth rather than the more prosaic and sensible idea of getting to know somebody slowly and building a respectful relationship, so I can't really blame her for that.

I think it would be a shame if she and her rather questionable mother (I saw the clip from This Morning) try to spin this into a revenge drama, one courageous young woman fighting against the love rats in order to save other girls from the same fate etc etc. They won't achieve anything other than saddling Sophie with a history she'll probably regret in a few years when she wants to be taken seriously. Internet pages are forever.

diddl · 11/10/2017 14:16

I do think that she has done a good thing by highlighting to what lengths some blokes will take this.

Mxyzptlk · 11/10/2017 14:26

I hope it becomes a thing that women publicise the name of any total jerks who do this.
Then the guys might not think it's such a funny idea.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/10/2017 15:27

Goodpost Nettle.

She should step back from it now - she's named and shamed and that should be enough. (It would also be nice if she donated any money she received to charity)

FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 11/10/2017 15:27

I tend to believe this story - she's done a lot of traceable actions i.e. Spent 350, flown to Amsterdam, stayed overnight, flown back. I'm not sure you'd do all that just to sell a fake story.

Plus he's changed his story so many times, he's hiding things!
Poor girl. I'd name and shame.

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