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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You've been pigged?

251 replies

RainbowsAndCrystals · 09/10/2017 21:18

Aibu to think you wouldn't share this story with the papers?

Read it on The Mail so I won't link but basically British girl meets Dutch guy in Barcelona. He spends the next 3/4 months calling her and asking her to come over to Amsterdam.

She does and then he never shows up at the airport and texts her to say "you've been pigged"

Basically means pulling an ugly girl to then dump her.

He denies it but even if he did do aibu to think you would never tell this story to the world?

OP posts:
MargaretTwatyer · 10/10/2017 15:44

Ah, you’re one of those people.

Oh I know exactly what you mean. They call a spade a spade but when you point out they're an ugly fat cunt whose family look like the trolls who got driven out of town for being to ugly...well then they get all offended!

Joey7t8 · 10/10/2017 15:57

They call a spade a spade but when you point out they're an ugly fat cunt whose family look like the trolls who got driven out of town for being to ugly...well then they get all offended!

I seem to have touched a nerve by pointing out that this woman is overweight - is it because I was blunt about it and used the word fat? As for myself, I'm most definitely not overweight. Maybe you'd think I was ugly - that'd be your right to think so.

I personally wouldn't ever call anyone ugly. Apart from attractiveness being subjective, I think it's particularly cruel to criticise anyone for the looks that they were born with and can't change.

MissEliza · 10/10/2017 16:01

Gosh this thread has become very nasty

MargaretTwatyer · 10/10/2017 16:01

I think it's particularly cruel to criticise anyone for the looks that they were born with and can't change

But I thought you called a spade a spade? So surely you should do the same when someone is ugly? Unless what you actually meant is you enjoy being nasty to people you've made moral judgements on.

Which I suspect you did.

KrytensNanobots · 10/10/2017 16:04

As for myself, I'm most definitely not overweight

Use of the word "most definitely not" rather telling there. Sounds like you have issues of your own which would explain why you're focusing on the weight/looks aspect instead of the actual bigger picture - that if he did do this, too right he should be called out on it.

Coconutspongexo · 10/10/2017 16:14

I think this women is actually smaller than the average Brit considering the average British woman is a size 16, she doesn't appear to be a size 16.

Anyway her weight isn't the point. Someone's weight should not decide how you treat that person.

Joey7t8 · 10/10/2017 16:17

But I thought you called a spade a spade? So surely you should do the same when someone is ugly?

Like I said, looks are subjective.

MargaretTwatyer · 10/10/2017 16:23

Like I said, looks are subjective.

It would appear being fat is too given the amount of people disagreeing with you...

BarbarianMum · 10/10/2017 16:23

I don't see how her weight (or looks) are at all relevant. Unless anyone thinks "pigging" someone is Ok in any circumstances?

Joey7t8 · 10/10/2017 16:31

It would appear being fat is too given the amount of people disagreeing with you...

Actually, you're right. My definition of fat or overweight is BMI based. Others will define it by modern day normal UK body size, in which case she's in the normal range.

Coconutspongexo · 10/10/2017 16:36

How on earth would you know her BMI?

KrytensNanobots · 10/10/2017 16:36

I don't see how her weight (or looks) are at all relevant. Unless anyone thinks "pigging" someone is Ok in any circumstances?

Exactly, weight and looks have absolutely nothing to do with it in the first place. "Pigging" is the treatment of the person, not what they do or don't look like.
Either wilfully missing the point in this type of behaviour or doing so on purpose to deflect blame away from the actual act itself.

MargaretTwatyer · 10/10/2017 16:41

I'd like to know how she knows her BMI too.

Joey7t8 · 10/10/2017 16:55

To avoid the danger of this thread going off on a tangent, I take back everything I said about the woman's weight. From the photos of her where you can see her body, she's clearly very slim and healthy.

Mittens1969 · 10/10/2017 17:14

I watched it on This Morning, it had a ring of truth about it. The girl in question is certainly NOT fat, she’s actually quite attractive. But even if that wasn’t the case it’s awful of the young man to humiliate her like that.

I don’t know why the OP is so determined not to believe her? From what I could see, the man sounded dodgy, the way he changed his story; initially nothing happened at all, then he admitted they had a one-night story. That sounded shifty.

DeleteOrDecay · 10/10/2017 17:26

It really is funny the way some people fall over themselves to accuse the girl of lying. This happens every time a woman accuses a man of being an arsehole in some way (or even assaulting her). The default assumption is that the woman is lying and the poor man has been stitched up. So predictable.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2017 17:36

I don't see how her weight (or looks) are at all relevant. Unless anyone thinks "pigging" someone is Ok in any circumstances?

But they are relevant. This "pigging" would nit happen to someone who looks like Mila Kunis etc. The whole point of it being "pigging" is surely about the idiot thinking the female resembles a pig. There is a deep route acceptance that it is ok to comment on peoples weight, to make fun of people who are ugly. Just look at the memes that go around with a photo of someone who looks "ugly" with "tag your sister / this is who X pulled" etc. Pretending it doesn't happen, that people arwnt treated differently based on their looks will not help solve the problem .

That doesn't mean its ok. But in reality I might be "pigged" based on my weight and I guess average/standard looks whereas my slim, beautiful friend wouldn't. Beauty might be in the eye of the beholder but societally we value slimness, symmetry, classical good looks and some idiots think its ok to treat people accordingly

SoPassRemarkable · 10/10/2017 17:48

Sadly I agree that she is overweight and that I'm the circumstances is relevant. Of course that doesn't make it right. Far from it. I'm overweight myself, probably the same build/little bit bigger and I am overweight/bordering on obese.

If I was younger and single then I guess I would be a target.

His lies don't even make sense. He says he can't remember if he made a pig reference or not but if he did then it would only have been in relation to how they had sex. Maybe I'm a middle aged old bat but I have yet to hear anyone talk about being pigged in relation to sex or having sex like a pig. Maybe I've led a sheltered life!

SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2017 17:53

Maybe the pig is a new take on doggy? Confused

SoPassRemarkable · 10/10/2017 17:55

Maybe! Well even back in the day if I'd done it doggy style with a bloke nobody ever messaged me and said "you've been dogged". Just doesn't make sense to me.

Original poster
RainbowsAndCrystals · 10/10/2017 18:04

I don’t know why the OP is so determined not to believe her?

For goodness sake. I would just rather be fair and not believe one stranger over another until there's proof. Gender is irrelevant to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
RainbowsAndCrystals · 10/10/2017 18:08

Also why should I automatically believe someone just because they have a vagina?

I treat everyone equal.

OP posts:
Idontevencareanymore · 10/10/2017 18:09

I believe her. Well most of it. But I don't understand why she's made it so public. I mean yes money, she's not been made to go on this morning for crumpets and tea.
Is she shaming guy as a revenge? Trying to get a modelling contract? Just appearance fees? It's all very odd.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2017 18:12

I imagine validation, cash, career.

SoPassRemarkable · 10/10/2017 18:16

Maybe she is trying to shame him/make him realise how unacceptable he was.

Hopefully it's worked. He's certainly facing a bit of a backlash. Guess he never expected it to go public like this. Maybe in the future girls he meet may be wary of dating him knowing how he treats women. She says she wants to stop him doing this to other women.