AIBU to defend my son against complaints from neighbours

[Debdiamond]

My son and his friends often mend their cars and motorbikes outside our house. Most of these vehicles are a bit noisy but all are legal. After neighbours complained about the noise late at night, I have asked him to stop at 9pm and he has. However, he does still come and go a couple of times during the evening and usually comes home at 11.30pm. He then leaves the house for work 4 days a week at 5.45am.

This evening, one of the neighbours came around in a drunken rage, shouting, swearing and bawling at them about the noise 'at this time of night'. It was 6.30pm.

I'm the first to moan at him if he's being a pain but as I pointed out to her, it was hardly late. A friend of hers then joined the argument and accused me of 'sticking up for my son', which I was, as I don't think he's doing anything wrong! They then said that most of the immediate neighbours are complaining although only one other person has said anything to me, and that was about a noisy motorbike, which my son had sold a couple of weeks before. Turns out he was being blamed for another noisy motorbike in the area (nothing to do with him).

I pointed out to them that lots of people around here annoy me, kids screaming and crying, gangs of young children playing in the street, dogs barking, people mowing their lawn at 8am on Sunday mornings, (not to mention neighbours who spend half their lives getting drunk) but I don't go kicking off about it. It's an estate where lots of people live so there will be noise so I just accept it. And if the noise was going to bother anyone, surely being right outside mine and my daughters bedrooms, it would get on our nerves before theirs.

As far as I'm concerned they are group of teenage boys doing what teenagers do. They are not particularly rowdy, they don't do drugs or terrorise old ladies and they don't go around stealing anything. They could be a lot worse.

Any thoughts on this?

To note from my post,, no I don’t agree with sitting and revving a car to high hell but simply driving to and from work should not be classed as BU

Dont be silly. Of course they can.

Just not coming and going at 11:30pm at night and blaring music until being told otherwise, especially in a built up area.

No they shouldn’t. Domestic properties are not an appropriate place to repair cars, unless you’re in a garage and not disturbing anyone with the noise/sight.

It doesn’t matter if it’s naturally loud or has been altered to be that way. Makes no difference. You don’t rev engines, hang out with your mates in the driveway, play music and create noise unless you want to be seen as an antisocial tit.

It’s not hard - to be a good neighbour your life shouldn’t piss off reasonable people near you.

Having a loud engine on your car =/= a bunch of teenagers hanging around most evenings until the very late evening outside working on them. As if the neighbours give a flying fuck if the car has a "naturally noisy engine" or not - the point is the noise is ongoing and constant and happens all the time. Eep I'm getting a throbbing sensation in my head just thinking about it...

@Anatidae so in this sense those who hold garden parties are also BU I don’t drink so therefore don’t want to see drunks hanging about in there gardens :s

Just because one person doesn’t share the hobby doesn’t mean they should be targeted, yes we have a garage for this purpose of tinkering and a lot of work would cost hundreds in a garage compared to a couple hours of harmless tinkering!

I would class tinkering every single day as completely in reasonable but a few hours every few weekends is not just like people having bbqs, parties etc in their gardens.

BBQs and parties are antisocial (ironically) too - or have the potential to be. Music and chat and drunken whatever shouldn’t be pissing off your neighbours any more than once or twice a year, after you’ve given them advance warning.

This isn’t someone in their garage quietly doing up a vintage motor a couple of hours on a weekend afternoon, it’s a bunch of hoolies who dgaf about their neighbours making their lives hell.

Unless you live out in the sticks or a gated pile in the country, most of us live check by jowl In crowded poorly soundproofed housing. We all have a duty to live in a way that doesn’t piss those around us off.

Where on earth does the OP say this only happens at the weekend? She posted on a Monday saying "this evening". And she said it happens "often".

Are you the OP who has name changed or something to defend herself?

@Anatidae BBQs and parties are antisocial (ironically) too - or have the potential to be. Music and chat and drunken whatever shouldn’t be pissing off your neighbours any more than once or twice a year, after you’ve given them advance warning.

Quite. having a BBQ on the odd sunny Saturday afternoon which winds down into conversational chit chat and the odd glass clinking is radically different to my thankfully now ex neighbours having near-weekly screaming parties that last till 3am on a weekday morning where they are playing music so loud I can sing along with the lyrics from behind my double glazed windows (which are shut tight to muffle some of the racket)

Exactly. Our neighbours often have the evening meal outside in the summer. No music, just chit chat and the kids playing. Totally fine. Never out late, no noise that’s not background or filtered by a window.

In many countries, there are quite strict communa living policies in flats. If you were doing this is Austria or Switzerland you’d have felt the full force of the entire neighbourhood’s wrath by now 😁

In my opinion there's only one reason you fit noisy exhausts to your car, rev your engine and blast music.. and that's to say "hey everyone look at me"
Id say your son wants to get noticed and loves winding the neighbours up. You are allowing it

@CherriesInTheSnow no I’m not the OP just fed up of people who enjoy cars as a hobby getting brought down by anything they do tbh it’s pathetic.

I’m not the OP just fed up of people who enjoy cars as a hobby getting brought down by anything they do tbh it’s pathetic.

My DH and DBro have bikes and cars as hobbies.

They don't behave like the OPs DS.

HTH

@BishBoshBashBop where did I say I agreed with Op, I said that coming and going to and from work isn’t an issue and working every few weekends is also reasonable.

Did I fully agree to them working every day? As per previous post by myself

I would class tinkering every single day as completely in reasonable but a few hours every few weekends

And before it’s pointed out yes in should be Unreasonable

You can enjoy cars as a hobby. If you’re reaponsible.
You can’t turn your front yard/road into a garage and expect the neighbours to be pleased about it.

Cars can be noisy, messy and antisocial, so if you do have a hobby involving cars, you need to be considerate about it.

Why can’t they rent a lock up and go there? It’s noisy, hazardous and antisocial to be hanging out with your mates, ‘tinkering’ at all hours.

Driving to work at 5.45am - Not unreasonable.
Driving to work at 5.45am with bean tin exhaust - Unreasonable.

Haha! I very much doubt he's just 'tinkering here and there' if the neighbours are this furious.

He starts his night shift at 5:45 in the morning?

The house next to me is for sale - please tell me you won't be moving to my area. That noise would drive me mad,

Back in the day, if we were leaving the house really early, we would all get in the car, holding onto the door handles but not shutting them, my Dad would drive just past the houses before slamming them shut. It was just seen as basic thoughtfulness.

Oh, fitting a new stereo, bet quadraphonic speakers had to be tested at max volume for a couple of hours So your son could be more considerate but basically doesn't want to be. No doubt he was raised a 'free spirit 'and so is now an entitled adult who doesn't give a shit about anyone.

My son and his friends often mend their cars and motorbikes outside our house
Irritation #1. Groups of people tend to be noisy. Young people especially so even if they aren't being deliberately twattish. Is there any music accompanyng the tinkering and chat too?

Most of these vehicles are a bit noisy
Irritation #2. Is it the exhausts? If so, perhaps the next "tinkering" they do would be to put some standard exhausts back on their cars so they aren't unreasonably loud?

After neighbours complained about the noise late at night
Neighbours having to say something rather than you or the lads realising they're causing a disturbance...irritation #3

he does still come and go a couple of times during the evening and usually comes home at 11.30pm
A nice loud exhaust disturbing the peace a "couple of times" (so at least twice?) a night, and at times when most people are at least trying to wind down and relax if not actually asleep. Irritation #4

He then leaves the house for work 4 days a week at 5.45am
A loud exhaust at silly o'clock in the morning. What joy. Was it accompanied by the loud music too until you told him about that? Irritation #5

He did used to play loud music but stopped this around a month ago after I asked him to turn it off before entering our estate
He's already fucked the residents of the estate off every time he went to work (at silly o'clock) or during his "couple of" journeys up the road and back until late (although "usually" not after 11.30pm). Irritation #6

it's generally afternoons/evenings on a weekend
Right at the time when many people are trying to relax after a week at work. Irritation #7

OP, have you posted this before? I'm sure I've read this exact situation, down to the leaving for work at 5:45 in the morning on four days per week and having asked your son to turn off noisy music before he turns into the estate. I don't know why you'd think you'd get different answers from last time; all that noise is still just as rude and antisocial as it was before.

As others have said, going to work at 5.45am is not unreasonable. Arguably, even going to work at 5.45am with a louder-than-normal exhaust (eg a Subaru rather than a souped up chavmobile) isn't unreasonable. What is unreasonable is those things coupled with coming and going late at night, loud music and working on cars in a group on a fairly regular basis in the afternoon and evening. If it was just the louder than normal car and early start your neighbours would probably put up and shut up but tbh it sounds like the straw that broke the camel's back!

My old neighbour had a shitty old motorbike in the back garden - he never used it, in fact it didn't have wheels. But once or twice a week he would start it up, presumably to stop the battery dying. He'd leave it running for 10 minutes. The whole house would vibrate and if the windows were open the upstairs would stink of fuel. It was awful just in those small doses. I dread to think what regular 'tinkering' and coming and going would be like. Sounds awful.

It's generally afternoons/evenings on a weekend.
I would hate this kind of noise ruining my weekend. The car doesn't have a huge exhaust but it's loud? YANVU. He needs to find a lockup somewhere to do his 'tinkering' His 'hobby' sounds like it's annoying people so, once again, YABU.

Wow afternoons, evenings, and weekends .... because they’re all the times that EVERYONE ELSE IS HOME TOO - if he did t during work time no one would care as they’re all out too.