AIBU to defend my son against complaints from neighbours

[Debdiamond]

My son and his friends often mend their cars and motorbikes outside our house. Most of these vehicles are a bit noisy but all are legal. After neighbours complained about the noise late at night, I have asked him to stop at 9pm and he has. However, he does still come and go a couple of times during the evening and usually comes home at 11.30pm. He then leaves the house for work 4 days a week at 5.45am.

This evening, one of the neighbours came around in a drunken rage, shouting, swearing and bawling at them about the noise 'at this time of night'. It was 6.30pm.

I'm the first to moan at him if he's being a pain but as I pointed out to her, it was hardly late. A friend of hers then joined the argument and accused me of 'sticking up for my son', which I was, as I don't think he's doing anything wrong! They then said that most of the immediate neighbours are complaining although only one other person has said anything to me, and that was about a noisy motorbike, which my son had sold a couple of weeks before. Turns out he was being blamed for another noisy motorbike in the area (nothing to do with him).

I pointed out to them that lots of people around here annoy me, kids screaming and crying, gangs of young children playing in the street, dogs barking, people mowing their lawn at 8am on Sunday mornings, (not to mention neighbours who spend half their lives getting drunk) but I don't go kicking off about it. It's an estate where lots of people live so there will be noise so I just accept it. And if the noise was going to bother anyone, surely being right outside mine and my daughters bedrooms, it would get on our nerves before theirs.

As far as I'm concerned they are group of teenage boys doing what teenagers do. They are not particularly rowdy, they don't do drugs or terrorise old ladies and they don't go around stealing anything. They could be a lot worse.

Any thoughts on this?

You're being told by most posters that you're not great neighbours and you're still defending your son.

I don't think you appreciate just how aweful noisy neighbours are, and you my love are a noisy neighbour. In fact, putting it bluntly, you sound like dreadful neighbours.

I've dealt with 2 clients where this sort of behaviour has almost led to them being evicted from their council properties, so it is a serious matter. Both are now on acceptable behaviour contracts.

You can't compare it to the noise of people leaving for/coming back from work, that's normal activity. Loads of teens fixing bikes and cars for long periods isn't.

The noise is very intrusive and 9pm is far too late. Young children should be asleep at that time and adults are entitled to a bit of peace and quiet in the evening.

DP has 3 motorbikes, so at least one of them generally requires some tinkering or tweaking. He never does this after work, and at weekends he won't start before 10 or carry on after 4-5pm, out of consideration to the neighbours.

For one moment I thought you were "Bike Boys" mum. I posted from the opposite side a few weeks ago, it's hell living next to this kind of noise believe me.

My husband goes to work on his motorbike. When he has to leave earlier than usual (6.30am) he pushes his bike up to the main road before starting it.
Because motorbike noise is very annoying.

Sorry haven't RTFT yet but just wanted to say 9pm is a ridiculous tie to be letting this noise go on til if it is a regular occurrence.

Anyone with children under 10 will be having them in bed long before 9pm and I can't imagine how fraught I would be having to listen to that and know full well it will go on until that time of day.

I don't mean to sound harsh if the noise is regular then it is really not fair for it to be going on so late at night so often. How much work does this car need???

He drives, owns a car, works long hours, lives at home. I'm going to make the assumption that ds is an adult.

So why are you babying him? Tell him to bugger off from the front of your house with his mates and rent a fucking garage where HE can deal with the fall out from any noise disturbance rather than it land at your feet.

@OlennasWimple TBH the damage was done when you let him be out there until nearly midnight. This has already annoyed the neighbours so much that even reasonable noise will be seen as intolerable.

The fact that OP is the one having to ask/tell/instruct her son not to do these things all the time clearly shows he is not mature enough to understand basic community manners.

I would hate to have you as a neighbour. Your son and his mates must be making the whole street's life a misery, not to mention how shit it looks.

OP you are never going to win on this type of thread. Everyone has piled in with their war stories of gangs of marauding youth terrorising the neighbourhood.

There seems to be an unwritten MN rule that under teenage high pitched screaming is all part of living in a community. After that age teenagers should only be seen (and not heard) scuttling between school and tutor (in full school uniform) with a scholarly book tucked under their arm!

Teenagers do need to be reminded to keep the noise down, whether it is music or voices. Just keep reminding every single time.

She's not reminding them to keep it down, she's allowing and condoning regular noise disturbance until late at night!

Gnome, lots of have teenagers and certainly don't think of them as feral. But we do expect them to have some common sense, especially by the time they are old enough to be driving.

If that was my 17yo having to be told not to play loud music at midnight, and then (knowing that he has already pissed off the neighbours) carrying on mending noisy vehicles (as stated in OP) late in the evenings, I would not be hunting around for the excuse that some other person also owns a noisy vehicle. Other people do all sorts of anti-social things around here: I am still concerned with the behaviour of my family because that is the bit I am responsible for. "They could be a lot worse" is hardly much of an excuse.

The OP has admitted that the lads are noisy, she has also admitted that some of the work is non-essential maintenance rather than emergency (fitting a stereo): there is absolutely no reason the boy couldn't wait until the weekend to do it, or alternatively pay for it to be done at a garage.

Teenagers do need to be reminded to keep the noise down, whether it is music or voices. Just keep reminding every single time.

Eh? If he's at work he's not exactly a teenager is he?

What I mean by that is, he is, for all intents and purposes, an adult.

I have an 11yo who doesn't need to be told by me to keep it down. OPs DS should know better.

Slagging one neighbour off for being drunk and completely ignoring the fact the other sober neighbours have also told the OP her DS is being unreasonable kind of speaks for itself.

I’m so glad I don’t live near you op!

I dont think it sounds that bad, although I wouldnt have liked it when he was doing it till late, and i still think 9 is quite late for being noisy in the street

It sounds an awful place to live!

Yeah that wouldn't last long down our street. The older ones would of likely chased his friends of by now. You sound like a nightmare neighbour.

I suspect your neighbour is slamming his car door purposefully in the morning to get back at you for the noise coming from your house - if you are an inconsiderate neighbour, don't be surprised if others are inconsiderate to you.

It also doesn't take long for the offender to be ostracised. I have lived here several years now. One house. People always used to talk to them. In recent times, same house has taken to having endless weekend parties, scraps, the lot.

No one talks to the now. Not even the sober neighbours.

I think you really do need to suck it up and accept that your DS has BU here OP.
I'm sure we've all been U ourselves at some point. The maturity in it is accepting it and trying to find a solution, not wilfully ignoring all of your neighbours complaining just because one of them likes a drink once too often.

God, I would hate to be your neighbour. You must be making the neighbours lives a misery.

There is absolutely no need for a "loud" exhaust, minimally it's pathetic posturing, at it's worst it's absolutely bloody antisocial - which is pretty much what you've described (despite your subsequent back pedaling).

YADBU Op.

Anyone with children under 10 will be having them in bed long before 9pm and I can't imagine how fraught I would be having to listen to that and know full well it will go on until that time of day.

Couldn't agree more!

OP there is a world of difference to someone fixing a car once in a blue moon when it needs doing to 'tinkering' with multiple cars regularly. If I was your neighbour & had put up with your anti-social behaviour, I would be slamming doors in the early hours and doing everything I could to try and make you understand how other people's noise is annoying.

Yet another OP who asked a question & couldn't accept the answer

My neighbours son did this for a short while whilst visiting for a few days. That was all we stood of it before we told him to stop it or we'd report him.

You are the neighbour from hell

Wow from this thread clearly people who enjoy cars can’t have a hobby or a house, loud car does not equal big exhaust.Some engines are naturally loud for example V8s or Subaru flat 6🙄

Clearly though these cars shouldn’t be owned or started on someone’s own property 😂