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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to defend my son against complaints from neighbours

200 replies

Debdiamond · 09/10/2017 20:42

My son and his friends often mend their cars and motorbikes outside our house. Most of these vehicles are a bit noisy but all are legal. After neighbours complained about the noise late at night, I have asked him to stop at 9pm and he has. However, he does still come and go a couple of times during the evening and usually comes home at 11.30pm. He then leaves the house for work 4 days a week at 5.45am.

This evening, one of the neighbours came around in a drunken rage, shouting, swearing and bawling at them about the noise 'at this time of night'. It was 6.30pm.

I'm the first to moan at him if he's being a pain but as I pointed out to her, it was hardly late. A friend of hers then joined the argument and accused me of 'sticking up for my son', which I was, as I don't think he's doing anything wrong! They then said that most of the immediate neighbours are complaining although only one other person has said anything to me, and that was about a noisy motorbike, which my son had sold a couple of weeks before. Turns out he was being blamed for another noisy motorbike in the area (nothing to do with him).

I pointed out to them that lots of people around here annoy me, kids screaming and crying, gangs of young children playing in the street, dogs barking, people mowing their lawn at 8am on Sunday mornings, (not to mention neighbours who spend half their lives getting drunk) but I don't go kicking off about it. It's an estate where lots of people live so there will be noise so I just accept it. And if the noise was going to bother anyone, surely being right outside mine and my daughters bedrooms, it would get on our nerves before theirs.

As far as I'm concerned they are group of teenage boys doing what teenagers do. They are not particularly rowdy, they don't do drugs or terrorise old ladies and they don't go around stealing anything. They could be a lot worse.

Any thoughts on this?

OP posts:
DancesWithOtters · 09/10/2017 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OlennasWimple · 09/10/2017 21:06

TBH the damage was done when you let him be out there until nearly midnight. This has already annoyed the neighbours so much that even reasonable noise will be seen as intolerable.

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 09/10/2017 21:06

I’m with your neighbour.
Constant revving engines would drive me to distraction too. You can not compare it with children playing or lawn mowing.

Wolfiefan · 09/10/2017 21:06

Your house isn't a garage. Making that level of noise "often" is bloody anti social.

BarbaraOcumbungles · 09/10/2017 21:06

Has he got one of those ridiculous massive exhausts or it because if you are YABcompletelyU.

Sirzy · 09/10/2017 21:07

Tell him to rent some garage space to do his “tinkering”

FittonTower · 09/10/2017 21:07

My neighbour used to mend and tinker with his car in his garden. I had to move, it drove me up the fucking wall - engines and revving and tools being lobbed into tool boxes. It wasn't at night often and I didn't go round shouting but it made it impossible for me to sit in my garden and I hated it.
I'm pretty good with noise generally, there's not a lot gets under my skin but smelly, noisy car engines were too much.

martellandginger · 09/10/2017 21:08

You don’t want to upset your son. You don’t want him being at other friends houses where you can’t see him. I get it. But I reckon you are immune to his noise in the same way some parents can let their kids scream in restaurants but not hear them.

Please don’t compare your sons noise to list of noises you hate. Your son is creating a disturbance and you need to deal with it.

If you rent from council I would be very careful. My late nana had someone evicted for not cleaning their front gardens. Said gardens were untidy but not that bad. I hope there’s no such activitist living near you.

JonSnowsWife · 09/10/2017 21:09

Other people drive to and from their homes at 11.30pm

You said he comes and goes several times in the evening. That's a bit different to nipping to the all night garage for a pint of milk.

Original poster
Debdiamond · 09/10/2017 21:09

I know this neighbour was drunk as she is well known for her 'problem' and could hardly stand. She's rarely seen after 3pm without a can of stella in her hand.

I didn't realise something like this would be such a big problem for people. To me 6.30pm is not late at night and cars coming and going on a busy estate is to be expected.

Oh well, maybe I should complain every time somebody annoys me now.

OP posts:
JonSnowsWife · 09/10/2017 21:10

What job does he do OP?

I'm asking because one of our neighbours works as a repairman for the highways agency. He doesn't leave until 6am in the morning but he'd still wake the dead sorting all his stuff out.

BarbaraOcumbungles · 09/10/2017 21:10

Has it got a massive exhaust on it?

Shockers · 09/10/2017 21:12

If they're revving them it must drive your neighbours mad.

I was trying to work at 8pm tonight (I can't do college work during the day because I'm at work) and couldn't concentrate because of the noise of the arseholes who rev their stupid engines on their shitty little cars and bikes on a nearby car park.

They blight my life and have done for the last 6 years (new arsehole crop yearly).

I fucking hate the noise and it shouldn't be allowed to go on for hours.

That's the most I've ever sworn on here.

Fuckers.

JonSnowsWife · 09/10/2017 21:13

To me 6.30pm is not late at night and cars coming and going on a busy estate is to be expected.

Okay. I'll be nice and ask again. Had he been doing it all day?

UnicornSparkles1 · 09/10/2017 21:14

I'd have complained about your noise levels to the council a long time ago. Be grateful that your neighbours are only just losing their shit with you now.

SparklyMagpie · 09/10/2017 21:16

Nope.
This would drive me fucking crazy!!

" abit noisy " haha yes I'm sure it is Hmm

BishBoshBashBop · 09/10/2017 21:19

Most of the noise is from coming and going, like for example the neighbour who wakes me up every morning at 6.30am when he slams the car door twice!

I think they could be doing that to 'get their own back' tbh

I would be pretty pissed off if this was regularly going on and I say that as someone who's DH has motorbikes.

Piggywaspushed · 09/10/2017 21:19

Ugh. Some lads were messing with cars for about 15 minutes in the layby outside my house last week and it drove me barmy. It was warm so we had a window open. Not only did the noise mean we couldn't hear the telly but the house stank within a few minutes.

And there's cars coming and going and those souped up ones with their filthy exhausts waking up the neighbourhood. there are a few of those on my estate and they generally rev and drive too fast...assuming your DS is not like this,

Imknackeredzzz · 09/10/2017 21:20

Oh god, I would HATE to live near you OP. Sorry but this is so anti social, and you seem to have no idea that it is! That’s the worrying thing about it!

CatastropheKate · 09/10/2017 21:20

I doubt you'll get a reply from the OP, clearly everyone was supposed to say YANBU, but the general concensus is that it IS unreasonable behaviour. OP doesn't seem to agree.

Billben · 09/10/2017 21:20

My son and his friends often mend their cars and motorbikes outside our house.

Didn't even bother reading past this sentence and just went straight to the replies. Thank goodness you don't live near me.

Original poster
Debdiamond · 09/10/2017 21:20

No massive exhaust, but a loud one. However, no louder than the one that drove away as he was sitting there being shouted at (which was nothing to do with us).

He did used to play loud music but stopped this around a month ago after I asked him to turn it off before entering our estate.

As my son and his friends all work or are in college, they are not here most days, it's generally afternoons/evenings on a weekend. Engines are not constantly running as most of their time is spent 'googling' how do whatever they are trying to do rather than actually doing much. I actually think that if they were out there on a pushbike people would find something to moan about.

OP posts:
Creambun2 · 09/10/2017 21:23

why are you letting your house be used as garage for all your sons mates cars and bikes? You sound an awful neighbour.

Piggywaspushed · 09/10/2017 21:24

I think he burnt his bridges. You have already had to tell him to stop at 9 and to not play loud music. It looks like the neighbours will already have built their opinions.

If you notice other loud exhausts and pass comments, you must realise his is really loud and annoying too?

I do know that lots of people love their cars and bikes. My neighbour tinkers with bikes but he is quiet as a mouse most of the time and tinkers in a garage. he never revs endlessly or has loads of mates around. That would be irritating.

newmumwithquestions · 09/10/2017 21:26

So he used to tinker until late (he's reigned it in until 9, but it was much later) and has only recently stopped blaring music out in the estate?
Yep that would annoy me.

Personally I'd deal with him getting up for work early because it's work. But I'd be furious if he was playing banging tunes to drive away early.

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