Re ex and DDs periods

[HadloxB]

Name changed for this one.

DD 12 (nearly 13) is suffering with her periods. She’s had them about a year and they’re getting worse each month. Bleeding through clothing, awful cramps, she’s given up dance and swimming.

We’ve tried everything in the san pro aisle, tampons hurt her, moonvup she can’t put in, atm she is using thick pads and changing them all the time. Her mattress/bedding is ruined. I’ve had to pick her up from school twice due to soaking through her clothes/pain.

She has asked to go on the pill or have a coil fitted. I spoke to her dad about it and he has absolutely said no way. She’s too young and it’s dangerous. I’ve been bombarded with dodgy links about it causing cancer and death and infertility . He can be very stubborn and is refusing to shift on it. I’ve told him ultimately it isn’t his decision. He said fine but I’ll be responsible for her future health and I “can’t be bothered” to research it or read his links.

AIBU to agree to her going on the pill? Would a GP fit a coil for a 12 year old? Mirena not the copper obviously

Lots of good advice here OP, but whilst you're waiting for the GP, do honk about getting some period pants to stop the leaks.

Diary Doll pants from Boots or I think they've now remarketed as Pretty Clever Pants.

Last line of defence sort of thing - she could have a spare pair in her back but perhaps always wear them when her period is due.

Good luck finding a solution. Tranexamic acid might be a much better first option than the pill.

Somebody asked what his suggestion is? Exercise and a good diet
It's a bit hard to exercise when you're bleeding all the way through your clothes and in incredible pain! Your ex is an absolute dick, and I can see why he's an ex. This is nothing to do with him. I'd rip any man (aside from a qualified professional) a new one if he tried to comment on my periods. Even another female can't understand what it's like to be in that situation if they've always experienced pain free, light, periods.

Your poor daughter. What she's currently going through is hell, and I hope she has a reprieve soon. Personally I'd be asking for the three-monthly injection that stops periods full stop.

I suffered in much the same way, albeit not until late in my teens. It wasn't until I suffered my first ectopic pregnancy (my first pregnancy, to boot) ten years later that it was discovered that I'd been suffering from endometriosis all that time. I went on the pill in my late teens to try and help with this. Unfortunately I had to try about five-six different ones they all had adverse reactions on me.

I wish your daughter good luck.

He’s just very wary of “big pharma” hmm pushing drugs on society and genuinely believes it can be solved by food and exercise.
Does he have that same dickish attitude towards people who need to take drugs for cancer, or antibiotics for general illnesses'?

I struggled with painful periods when I was younger, but older than your DD. Crippling pain meant missing uni lectures then work. Endometriosis it turned out. No 12 year old should have to put up with that solid see GP to find out underlying cause.

So I'd *

Let her go on the pill if it’s for health reasons. It’s her body why is his opinion relevant exactly?

I don’t understand why you asked for his opinion/permission in the first place.

Wow let’s get period advice from a man that’s anti ‘big pharma’ and let your daughter clearly suffer. Jesus. I feel sorry for your daughter. Imagine having awful cramps and bleeding everywhere, being in constant pain just because your dad thinks you can eat your way to pain free periods?

Your daughter needs you to help her here. IGNORE YOUR EX.

Is he controlling in other ways too? How absolutely vile

You can get a closer appt, just keep ringing your GP in the morning or try here:

www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Sexual-health-information-and-support/LocationSearch/734

I would also be concerned with “Big Pharma” messing her hormones up.

This is because the pill completely messed my endocrine system up. I have chronic fatigue syndrome (ME). I know the day when my body was tipped over the edge and I lost significant amounts of energy. It was the day after I took the pill at 35 ish for ivf. I never recovered and became progressively worse after my dd was born.

Both my dds were similar to your dd - anaemia became a huge issue too - both requiring several iron infusions ( despite 3 years or iron supplements). Tried the pill - not at all successful - despite different types - eventually Gynae inserted Mirinena under GA which has been great success. Within months their Hb was normal for first time since age 12, no periods, no spotting. They were 14&15 - now 18 & both fit & well.

I was similar at your daughters age, my g.p tried me first on the two medications mentioned in this thread, unfortunately they didn't work for me. I was bleeding a lot, my very heavy period lasting two weeks and only having a week to two weeks respite in between. Periods were wrecking my life and I was missing up to a week of school a month, due to exhaustion and horrific period pains. I remember my lovely g.p suggesting that I go on the pill. My Mum freaked and refused to let me go on the pill. My g.p threw my Mother out of the room and told her I was old enough to make that decision for myself. He then sat and explained how he thought the pill would help me, he also explained that it wasn't a license to go out and have sex. He advised me to wait until I had met someone that I loved. He also lectured me about the dangers of sex without condoms.. I was fifteen so a few years older, I wasn't embarrassed at all, (in fact I trusted his advice and as well as starting the pill) I took his advice and waited six more years until I had met my now husband, before even thinking about sex.

My Mum was so angry with the g.p and with me for disobeying her. It was worth it though! I didn't react well to microgynan 30 but after being put on Loestrin my periods became regular, lighter and a lot less painful! I had polycystic ovaries too and the pill really helped with this (there may be something in doctors saying that having children can cure it, as having my children made my periods lighter, shorter and clockwork regular!)

My Mum never spoke to my Dad about any of it! Her reaction to my being put on the pill, did make me less likely to confide in my Mum later on. I won't put my daughter through that!

I have severe m.e too mummy to little dragon, although I link it to firstly the MMR (when I had already had two rubella vaccinations) and then glandular fever. I didn't start my period until a year after that. Recent research suggests that severe m.e is triggered either by a huge trauma or by viral trauma (which trigger the problems at cellular level throughout the body). I can see how an influx of synthetic hormones would have a similarity effect, although I imagine you would be on higher doses of hormones than the contraceptive pill. In my case I believe it was the viral trauma although I have friends who were abused as children and have been told that was a likely trigger. I certainly felt a lot better after going on the pill, I think very heavy periods can drain the body almost as much as m.e can.

I hope that your g.p can find a treatment to help your daughter, its miserable living with such heavy periods!

OP I don’t think this should wait. If you can’t get anything before November I’d put in for an emergency appointment. She shouldn’t have to go through a single cycle more of this.

Definitely stress to he doctor how extreme this is. My DD was inclined to underplay it as she was embarrassed. When I mentioned (to her chagrin) the blood squelching in her trainers and having to put them in the washing machine the doctor began to listen.

It still took several years before the magic of the general anaesthetic, laparoscopy and mirena which I see was the solution for several of our DDs on here.

To those who say they’d never put a coil into a youngster and it would be agony, it’s done under general anaesthetic by a gynaecologist so they can check what’s going on at the same time. Being anaemic for years and suffering like this every month, also being in agony, is incredibly debilitating. There are degrees of “bad periods” and OP’s daughter, like mine and several PP’s is severe, by the sound of it.

Ex is a fool who can't assess risk. As are many others on here.

The girl has major problems because nature has stuffed up. Medical help needed. Sheep like bleating about big pharma and natural remedies is the sign of wilful stupidity.

i’m researching about periods in relation to my DD and came across this thread

OP… are you still married to this stubborn, narrow minded cretin?

oh thank goodness….. he was your ex!!

Was the fuckwit so.concerned about you being on contraception when you were together or did he insist on wearing comdoms to save any health risks to you from all those nasty hormones?

I doubt it. Has he "researched" the impacts of heavy periods? Of the risks associated with anaemia?

Does he look after his daughter when she's on her period,.or have to collect her from school? I bet the first time he had to leave work to do that and look after her, he'd be raging at you "why didn't you get her to the doctor's and get her on the pill? I found this research......"

Ignore him. He has no idea what he's on about. Or any concern for what his poor daughter is suffering.

had bad periods aged 11-12, luckily I was able to take time off school and could do nothing but stay in bed. Painkillers did nothing as I used to be sick as well. Over thirty years ago. I remember a male GP saying it would settle down after I had kids. Or I could have a hysterectomy! Female doctor immediately prescribed the pill. Completely resolved things.

Hope your daughter gets the help and your fuckwit ex.... Well. Shuts the fuck up.

This thread is SEVEN YEARS OLD

Edited when realised how old this thread is. He's still a twat though!

normally im all for dads being involved in conversations about womens health but in this case he can fuck the fuck off - no uterus, no opinion.

I went in the pill at 15 due to the same situation. I was in agony every month and was throwing up due to pain, my periods lasted 11 days and were really heavy. As I was approaching my exams and had been fobbed off with painkillers, which didn’t help when you throw them up, my mum demanded the GP do something. The pill was life changing, I had next to zero cramping, my flow was manageable and lasted 5 days at best. I could also choose just to run packs together and not have a period at all which I did regularly. I had no awful side effects apart from the very first day where I threw up twice.

I have really heavy periods with big clots and I tried Tranexamic acid last month and my period was alot lighter, it was amazing. Does your GP not do emergency on the day appointments, I would say this warrants one if they do. I would get your daughter tested for anemia too as the heavy periods can cause that.

Also, I use reusable sanitary towels from a company called Wear Em Out, and found them better than disposable ones. I got their biggest ones.

Yorkshiregal1 This thread is from 2017.

Eugh edit. Zombie 🧟

Zombie!

@HadloxB , my DD was the same. She’s been on the pill since she was 12 and it has made a huge difference to her quality of life. She takes it back to back, which is perfectly safe - NHS advice on this is very outdated - so her period is completely suppressed. She is now 15 and trains six days a week in her sport, which would have been impossible with her heavy periods and pain. She also no longer has PMS (mood swings and rages) so the whole family benefits.

This has also enabled her to gradually take ownership of her health, making sure her prescription is renewed in time etc.

He’s being ridiculous and I wouldn’t even be asking his opinion. My DD went on the pill at 12, she had to have an emergency blood transition after her first period didn’t stop. She was 5 stone something. Before the pill she went on other meds that reduce bleeding but getting her to swallow big tablets was impossible. No way would I let a man tell my DD she couldn’t do something that would make the pain and inconvenience better. He’s an idiot