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AIBU?

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Original poster

Re ex and DDs periods

234 replies

HadloxB · 09/10/2017 14:10

Name changed for this one.

DD 12 (nearly 13) is suffering with her periods. She’s had them about a year and they’re getting worse each month. Bleeding through clothing, awful cramps, she’s given up dance and swimming.

We’ve tried everything in the san pro aisle, tampons hurt her, moonvup she can’t put in, atm she is using thick pads and changing them all the time. Her mattress/bedding is ruined. I’ve had to pick her up from school twice due to soaking through her clothes/pain.

She has asked to go on the pill or have a coil fitted. I spoke to her dad about it and he has absolutely said no way. She’s too young and it’s dangerous. I’ve been bombarded with dodgy links about it causing cancer and death and infertility Hmm. He can be very stubborn and is refusing to shift on it. I’ve told him ultimately it isn’t his decision. He said fine but I’ll be responsible for her future health and I “can’t be bothered” to research it or read his links.

AIBU to agree to her going on the pill? Would a GP fit a coil for a 12 year old? Mirena not the copper obviously

OP posts:
imjessie · 22/09/2024 21:42

A coil would surely be very painful for her . It's horrendous for me and I'm old and had two children

I would think of an implant or something to help or the pill .

Can you go to a family planning place to ask for options

Baike · 22/09/2024 21:49

HadloxB · 09/10/2017 14:20

I usually run things by him but yes you’re right it isn’t his business! I did say to him unless he was bleeding every month he didn’t get to decide that she just needs to get use to it, his response was that actually he’s her parent so he does get a say in her doing something with long term health consequences.

She seems to be losing quite large clots for 2/3 days and then light for another two days.

Is he aware of the long-term health consequences of anaemia, of PCOS, of missing lots of school due to pain. Or just things he can spout to control someone being in discomfort?

You need to completely defame how you’re having conversations with home. Even if he wasn’t a fucking idiot, it’s her GP and her who decides - and that is all.

Maray1967 · 22/09/2024 21:51

HadloxB · 09/10/2017 14:24

I’m going to make an appt this afternoon. Maybe family planning or well woman would be quicker though?

I still struggle with what needs discussing with him and what doesn’t. Major throwback to his control issues!

Hopefully this will help. I had similar problems - not to that extent and not as young though. GP advised the pill which worked well. My DM and I went. She would not have dreamed of discussing it with DF.

I accept that it was because of old fashioned attitudes about periods - but in your case I’d hold to that line. Periods, bra fittings etc - none of his business - especially as he’s clearly an idiot where women’s health is concerned.

curtaintwitcher78 · 22/09/2024 21:58

When I was in my teens the GP prescribed me mefenamic acid and said if that didn't help then we could try the pill. It's an NSAID (anti-inflammatory) Which helps with the pain but can also reduce the blood flow to make it slower/less heavy. Might be worth her trying that. It really helped me.
Also, YANBU. He has no idea how horrendous it is for her.

FranceIsWhereItsAt · 22/09/2024 22:01

Ermm · 09/10/2017 14:16

Am I missing something? Why is her gynaecological health something you ask him about and that he makes a decision about? It’s something to discuss with her doctor and then take appropriate advised medical action for. How is this REMOTELY something for him to be able to be stubborn about. Yeesh.

This!

Beezknees · 22/09/2024 22:13

Maray1967 · 22/09/2024 21:51

Hopefully this will help. I had similar problems - not to that extent and not as young though. GP advised the pill which worked well. My DM and I went. She would not have dreamed of discussing it with DF.

I accept that it was because of old fashioned attitudes about periods - but in your case I’d hold to that line. Periods, bra fittings etc - none of his business - especially as he’s clearly an idiot where women’s health is concerned.

Show quote history

This is from 2017, can't you read the date?? Pretty sure OP will have sorted it 7 years ago!

Kitkatfiend31 · 22/09/2024 22:32

Definitely go to the docs. On a practical level Cheeky wipes period pants have coverage from the waistband. I've used them as backup with other pads when having issues with leaking through to my clothes.

EBearhug · 22/09/2024 23:59

2017

That's when this thread is from.

2017

7 years ago.

Baike · 23/09/2024 21:27

EBearhug · 22/09/2024 23:59

2017

That's when this thread is from.

2017

7 years ago.

Didn’t see that. Good call.

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