Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re ex and DDs periods

234 replies

HadloxB · 09/10/2017 14:10

Name changed for this one.

DD 12 (nearly 13) is suffering with her periods. She’s had them about a year and they’re getting worse each month. Bleeding through clothing, awful cramps, she’s given up dance and swimming.

We’ve tried everything in the san pro aisle, tampons hurt her, moonvup she can’t put in, atm she is using thick pads and changing them all the time. Her mattress/bedding is ruined. I’ve had to pick her up from school twice due to soaking through her clothes/pain.

She has asked to go on the pill or have a coil fitted. I spoke to her dad about it and he has absolutely said no way. She’s too young and it’s dangerous. I’ve been bombarded with dodgy links about it causing cancer and death and infertility Hmm. He can be very stubborn and is refusing to shift on it. I’ve told him ultimately it isn’t his decision. He said fine but I’ll be responsible for her future health and I “can’t be bothered” to research it or read his links.

AIBU to agree to her going on the pill? Would a GP fit a coil for a 12 year old? Mirena not the copper obviously

OP posts:
guilty100 · 09/10/2017 15:07

I think you can only get tranexamic acid from the GP anyway littlemiss - you're absolutely right she needs to see a doctor.

Acadia · 09/10/2017 15:08

Try non-hormonal options first. Hormones sent me round the bend as a teen. I had a couple of friends with severe heavy loss and they were put on the pill too. For one, that just meant she had to change an 8-hour nightime pad every 30 minutes, so not much improvement. I am glad there are some non-hormonal options to try.

" but I was told that you can't have a coil fitted unless you have had a child. But things might have changed now."

I think now they just tell you it's going to really hurt due to the cervix not being very open, but you can still have it if you insist. I've got a copper coil and it's been an absolute godsend. No hormones, no insanity. I wouldn't touch a Mirena for the same reason.

Um, so yeah, try non-hormonal first, if she has to go on the pill so be it but please look out for signs of depression or total inability to distinguish fantasy and reality, because like posters above if they disagree with you they can really do a number on you.

JemimaLovesHamble · 09/10/2017 15:08

If she has PCOS, exercise and cutting various things out of diet can be beneficial, but you none of you know what the issue is yet.

  1. Speak to a professional. If GP seems unhelpful, then well woman clinic

  2. Perhaps diet intervention may help, but alongside something that can give her relief asap, not on its own!

SweetIcedTea · 09/10/2017 15:09

It's her GPs job to weigh up the risks and benefits and to offer advice on the best course of action, not her Father and Dr Google.

Ceto · 09/10/2017 15:09

Tell your ex to go and discuss it with her GP if he has issues with his/her advice. At least listening to his views on the magical powers of exercise and a good diet should give the GP a good laugh.

SoupDragon · 09/10/2017 15:09

You can buy tranexamic acid from a Boots pharmacy but only for over 18s

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 09/10/2017 15:11

What does the doctor suggest?

DesignedForLife · 09/10/2017 15:11

Please get her properly assessed and referred to gynae. That's not normal and needs proper investigation.

For what it's worth, I found using two night time pads laid overlapping into one big pad works well. Always ultra night secure. Then sleeping on a big towel, or using tampons too. Just as an interim until she gets assessed. There are also other non hormonal medicines such as tranexamic acid or mefanamic acid that she could try.

Non of her dads business tbh.

LewisThere · 09/10/2017 15:13

Honesty?
I can see his pov and would avoid putting a child in the pill too.

BUT... the issue of her periods, which are clearly flooding with massive clots, need to be addressed.
You need to go and see the GP and I would also ask for her iron levels to be checked as she is also at risk of developing anaemia.

Ive been through that and the only thing that made a difference (that wasn't the pill) was acupuncture. It took a few months for things to settle down but even my first wriod after starting the treatment was better (bleeding nowhere near as bad as it was before).

I'm not sure what is the answer there but she needs support. And if her dad isn't happy wth the pill, he has to provide other (realistic!) options.

Graphista · 09/10/2017 15:13

"Please go to the GP and insist on a referral to a gynae. This post could have been about me 23 years ago. Sadly it took me 10 years to get an endometriosis diagnosis by which point I had lots of scar tissue and other issues. I'm not saying she has endo but this is absolutely not normal. Is she in a lot of pain?"

This with bells on - this was me 33 years ago, took 14 years and the loss of 3 babies before diagnosis.

Graphista · 09/10/2017 15:14

And as someone who also has mh issues - your ex is a knob!

Fleshy · 09/10/2017 15:15

She's been suffering this for a year already without having seen a doctor? Fuckin hell, poor girl.
Mefenamic acid for cramps, tran.acid as mentioned upthread for the blood loss, plus explore reasons why is happening to her. Her private gynaecological issues are nothing to do with your scummy ex.

Slimthistime · 09/10/2017 15:21

I had this and mum had it before tranxemic acid was prescribed

I went on the Pill at 16 but hopefully they will now let her have it at 12. Obviously check that nothing else is wrong but it might just be that's how her periods are and I really wish I had been able to do something about it at that age. Sorry for her she is missing activities she enjoys, best of luck getting it sorted

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 09/10/2017 15:22

Just visit a GP and do what they advise, poor wee bairn that's so shitty at her age

as for "she’s given up dance and swimming" surely not forever, she can do them when not menstruating surely?

Giraffey1 · 09/10/2017 15:27

What does your GP say? There could be medical reason whyy she has such heavy periods, and there are lots of meds out there now that can help manage the problem. I'd be rating a GP's views higher than an 'absolutely no' husband who isn't suggesting anything remotely helpful. Does he think DD should just grin and bear it?!

Birdsgottafly · 09/10/2017 15:27

My DD was the same.

She was seen by our local Women's hospital. By 14 she had, had an internal ultrasound and was on a contraceptive pill.

At nearly 15 she had a laparoscopy and scrape. At 15 she had a coil fitted.

The coil changed her quality of life.

She could be heavily bleeding but not ovulating.

Go to your GP.

TheHarlotsofmyPerils · 09/10/2017 15:28

Hi, I haven’t read the full thread but I have endometriosis and this sounds similar to my teenage years, although obviously it may not be endo but a different issue for your daughter.
Whilst I am sympathetic to his concerns over the pill, this is your daughters reproductive health and she is suffering. The pill can greatly help issues like endo and could actually protect her fertility. A trip to the gp is in order but also looking at sites like the endometriosis uk site could be helpful as not all gps are particularly supportive of these kind of issues. As a side note, diet and exercise can make a difference to these problem. My periods are so much worse if I don’t exercise.

SomehowSomewhere1 · 09/10/2017 15:29

I was prescribed a pill to take alongside my period that helps reduce the blood flow - not tried it yet as fell pregnant before my next period - but worth asking.

DiegoMadonna · 09/10/2017 15:31

I would 100% take her to a doctor about this, and any parent who really is concerned with their child's health should back you on that.

TammySwansonTwo · 09/10/2017 15:33

Acadia had the copper coil improved for periods? It's renowned for making periods heavier and its only purpose is contraception, it wouldn't impact the girl's periods (except to make them heavier most likely) so definitely not right in this case.

The mirena does contain progesterone but a far lower dose than oral or other options. Personally I think it's a vicious demon of a thing but I had a bad time with it!

There are non hormonal options and definitely worth discussing with a GP. Unfortunately some conditions that cause heavy periods need hormones to keep them under control, and very sadly it would likely be a long while before any of them were diagnosed if she does have one.

There are so many different pills - some have been great for me, others very bad. Definitely worth trying if things are this bad in my opinion - after what I've been through I wouldn't hesitate if it were my daughter.

SellMyFlat · 09/10/2017 15:40

Your ex sounds like a massive twat! Such a misconception that putting a young girl on the pill will automatically mean she'll go out and have sex. That's obviously his train of thought

Your poor DD. Hope you manage to get it sorted after seeing GP

strongasmeringue · 09/10/2017 15:40

"I still struggle with what needs discussing with him and what doesn’t. Major throwback to his control issues!"

While he's being an arse, discuss nothing with him.

itusedtobeverydifferent · 09/10/2017 15:42

Your poor girl. I'd take her to the doctors regardless and take the advice given there. If the advice is to take a pill, so be it. It's not for protection for sex, it's for her own health. Missing school isn't good and she must be so self conscious. God knows I'd have wanted someone to help me if this happened when I were her age.

Aridane · 09/10/2017 15:42

It's her GPs job to weigh up the risks and benefits and to offer advice on the best course of action, not her Father and Dr Google.

Yes - but also it's the GP's job, not for her mother to go straight to Well Woman clinic and ask for pill or coil.

DistanceCall · 09/10/2017 15:45

As other posters have said, it could be polycystic ovary syndrome or endometriosis. Get your daughter fully checked out by a gynaecologist before making any decisions on the treatment.