To think that DH doesn't care about my well-being?

[BeauMirchoff]

A bit of background.
I work Monday to Friday. I get up at 5.30 so that I can be at work at 7.30 (I'm a teacher). I then pick up DC from the childminder at 5pm. Go home, dinner, showers, bed, laundry etc. And then I sit down to do some lesson planning and marking and go to bed around midnight. I am knackered.
DH works five days - three in the week and on the weekend. Usually 12-10pm or 3-11.30 shifts.
DH's days off are therefore in the week when DS1 is at school and DS2 is with the childminder.
DS2 is 2. I could count on the palm of one hand how many times DH has got up with him and let me have a lie in in the past two years. Since he is working 3-11.30 this weekend, I said to him earlier in the week that I wanted to have a lie in on either Saturday or Sunday. We decided it would be Saturday (today).
He got home at 11 last night and stayed up 'chilling' until 2.30am. So guess who was up with the kids this morning? DH got up at 11am. But I thought - ok, tomorrow then. He's at work, I just got off the phone with him and he was annoyed when I told him that he should go to bed as soon as he can because he's getting up with DS2 tomorrow (at around 8am). He said to me that I got to have a nap this afternoon whilst he was at work (I was knackered so I slept when DS2 slept). I said to him, I never get a lie in. I also never get any time to myself. None at all. My days off are at the weekend so I'm with the kids all day whilst his days off are during the week and he gets to do whatever he wants between the hours of 9 and 3.
I'm sat here thinking that he doesn't give two shits about my well-being. What's important is that he gets to 'chill' after work and then sleep in as long as he wants. I'm so upset. AIBU to think he doesn't care about me?

OP this sounds very like my ex. He didn't support me. He was always glued to his fecking phone and Playstation. He would deliberately stay up to the early hours and lie in when he could have got up and helped with the kids. He stopped loving me and instead of being a man and calling it a day he turned into an emotionally abusive arsehole.

You are doing it on your own anyway. If you seperate at least you won't be destroying yourself with resentment knowing he is there and could help but doesn't. You deserve better

Thank you all for your supportive messages. I'm sorry, I should have replied sooner but I'm like a zombie between Monday and Friday.

I think I'm going to have to leave him. He doesn't care about me. And he treats me like his inferior and is often rude to me. I need to get my shit together, detach myself emotionally and leave him.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to my post. I have no one to talk to about this in RL. So grateful for mumsnet

I'd ask him if he wants to be divorced anytime soon becasue you're sick of his shit. Wake him up a bit.

@BeauMirchoff you’re doing the right thing. Keep talking on here, we’ll help you work through it.

Start with fact-finding (and get it all in place before you tell him his sorry arse is dumped, because then you will be armoured against his bullshit). In terms of finance and your current home, would it be best for you/DC to throw him out, or you and DC to move elsewhere? Will you need/get any single-parent benefit? What childcare will you need and how will you get that? (NO point relying on him - he may well disappear, if not immediately then as soon as he can find another woman who will fall for his bullshit).
Make your plans, then tell him what's going to happen. Remember that whatever he says, he has no choice - he's dumped. Men like this often lie - they say that they will get the house, fight you for custody of the children, leave you penniless etc. Sometimes they say that they will tell everyone you are mentally ill. Sometimes these men get aggressive - if he does, call the police.
A man like this is your enemy. Not your partner, not your lover, not your friend. He doesn't consider you human, you're just a resource that he will happily exploit for his own benefit.
But you can get rid. Good luck.

Beau, there are lots of useful things you can do to get ready, first & foremeost:
You triple secure your computer/internet/phone/cloud settings. as you make steps to leave the "air will change" & he will get suspicious that you are planning something or gaining strength to rebel.
Change all you passwords. bank, phone, cloud, whatsapp, fb & any other media that he may have access to (you do not necessarily know if your messages pop up on his iPad etc)
get any important paperwork, passports, birth certs, pension, in a safe place OUT of the house, leave with a friend or at work.
try a get copy of all the vital paperwork, his salary, pay slips, his pension, mortgage, life insurance. You will be surprised how much goes missing when he gets wind of change.
Anything of yours that is valuable to you, sentimentally or otherwise, put in a safe place. (out of your house) they can get a malign pleasure in breaking or otherwise taking precious objects.
Make an aptmt with the CAB, find out your rights & devise an plan of action. start asking colleagues if they know of anywhere to rent, put out feelers, this is a slow game.

OP I'm so sorry this is happening. I have a similar situation and it is so hard, I'm at breaking point. DH gets one night a week, I have DD on my own a couple of hours so he can be with his DS and yet I get offered nothing. I told him I'm having one evening on a set day and he still ignores our DD and I step in as I can't leave her needing attention or comfort (she is 1).

I have started preparing for life alone. I just picture my future and I see it alone. I know I'd regret staying more than going. It's hard. I hope whatever you decide you sort this out.

Take comfort from the fact that leaving shows a much better example to your kids and what they should expect from relationships than staying ever will. I genuinely think you will be happier if you leave. Good luck