To be pissed off and frustrated with work colleague who is always off sick?

[ManicUnicorn]

I work in a school nursery. There are three members staff, the teacher myself and another TA. Unfortunately the other TA has a tendency to take days off sick. A lot. Bare in mind we are only in week five of the new term, she's had four days off already. She was off sick last Friday, there was no explanation for it and we were just told she was ill. Then she was off for two days the week before that, and now again today!

Now I know people get ill. Especially in schools at this time of year, but this just seems a lot of days scattered about here and there.

It's causing real problems. Today we had activities planned, I knew exactly what I was doing, had my resources ready etc. Arrive to find colleague off sick. Well then everything went to pot. Another member of staff was drafted in from elsewhere, but didn't know the children or where anything was, what we had planned or the routine. Obviously not their fault, but it was stressful nightmare. The kids were horrendous due to the change in routine, again. Colleague also does lunch duty and that was all messed up as well.

AIBU to be annoyed with her? She seemed completley fine yesterday. We all have days where we don't feel too great, or we're tired or whatever but you just have to suck it up and carry on.

yanbu to be pissed off and feel unfairly burdened. it is a pain and regardless of the reason it makes your life more difficult.
i had a person on my last team who didnt do a full week for months. it wasnt a serious illness. it wasnt stress. she was seeing what she could get away with. i had to take her through the whole sickness and capability procedure with warnings and meetings until shr suddenly realised that thr next one was the sack. miraculously fit as a fiddle since.

YANBU. I'm a teacher and people off sick a lot is incredibly hard work, it is none of your business what is going on but it is your business how that is managed. If someone knows they are going to be off it should be they set adequate cover for anyone else coming in to know what to do. It was unfair of your manager to move you from your activity to hers. You should not be required to do more work because someone is off sick. If it is something the school are aware of and may be a regular thing they need to step up and put steps in place for your team to deal with this that isn't just more work piled on you or the teacher

If you don't know whether it's genuine or not you have to assume that it is and not be a twat about it.

Far better that a chancer gets a slightly easier ride than a genuinely sick person has bullying added to their burden. If she is a chancer management will deal with it.

What if a genuinely struggling person who is in work has their burden added to.

Agree Stealth, I think there are people who think about the impact on others if they take a chill day and those who don't care.

It's a management issue not a colleague issue. It would not be unreasonable of the OP to ask whether there should be a more robust procedure to cope with her colleague being off ill than trying to grab another member of staff last minute.

She might be pregnant, try not to hate.
People don't always tell you what's going on in their lives, especially if you become subconsciously mean. She may have a sick relative... don't be mad. Support her.

Yanbu. I'm a nurse and manage a small group of carers on my shift, when one calls in sick it hugely effects the quality of care we can give the patients. Particularly at short notice when we can't get cover. There's a few we know are taking the absolute piss with sick days and posting all over Facebook. I do get genuinely annoyed when they call in.

I don’t normally mind the extra work when colleagues are genuinely ill. I’m quite understanding and assume the person is really ill. Until I see pictures of them on holiday or drunk on a night out all over social media 😡 even if they are trying to destress I feel there rubbing my nose in that I’m at work and there not

It's none of your business quite honestly. You have no idea what she's got going on. I was off work for 7 months after being diagnosed with PTSD following a serious assault. No one knew the reason except HR and my line manager and no one had the right to know, just as you don't.

Being off for 7 months would be easier on your colleagues than a few days here, a few days there.

Stealth sorry didn't look back at this til now - no, I'm not. But I can certainly do the looking "fine" one day and off the next, and there was an awful year prior to being diagnosed where I had no real explanation for why I always felt unwell.

And I pick up the slack when others are I'll even though I'm only just managing. Somehow it's so hard getting up and out and to work that I can cope with most things when I get there!

It does look like she doesn't care about the job but unless this has been the pattern for a few weeks and not just one, I guess it's best to wait and see how things pan out. IME these work shy types tend to leave within a few months. There's a chance like others have said there could be more to it than that, you never know.

She may well be ill. Or she may be like my ex work colleague who was off sick at least once a month. She took a week off with toothache. She was just a sliver and would happily admit it now she's not employed there any more!

I've already had seven days off. I didn't plan to get a nasty infection and I felt really bad that I wasn't in to support the team. It's frustrating but unless they boast of hangovers and free holiday cut them some slack.

Uptheduffy, I take your point but what I was trying to say was that this lady may have an illness that no one except HR knows about. She could be swinging the lead of course, but quite often it's the case that we just don't know, nor have the right to know what is going on in someone's private life x

YABVU

She's not sick. She's unhappy. I bet my life that this is a private nursery?

'Bare in mind' I only got that far because everyone was bare ( in my mind)

She could have Crohn's and be in a flare up, which might make it almost impossible to work with children as she might be bleeding constantly and have to run to the bathroom ten times in an hour, being more disruptive than actually going. If she can actually stand up. You wouldn't know at all and it affects people of all ages, even children.

Or a chronic migraine, which could mean she has attacks that last weeks and it's unsafe to look after children because her cognitive abilities, awareness and and language might be impaired. She would look perfectly healthy when not having one.

Or she could have serious mental health issues and can't cope.

Or she could have fibromyalgia, or ME.

Given that she has been off so much this month, HR or school probably knows about it and are not disclosing it. It might be a serious issue and although it impacts you, it's not her fault and the school should make provisions to cover her post whilst she is ill. People with long term chronic illnesses would rather be healthy and go to work than being at home

I work in early years as well and I understand your frustration. Sometimes I feel the same. Of course people are sick and it's not always something they can help. But the knock on effect it has to parents- familiar / preferred staff not there and children- continuity is immense. Someone who is not familiar with children ends up being a body but not actually that helpful. It can be really hard.
Unfortunately the parents commenting that you are reasonable are the same ones who would not be happy leaving there children with a stranger!

*their......not There.. .sorry autocorrect!

'She might be pregnant'! - pregnancy is not an illness. I would be hugely pissed off if this was one of my colleagues. I don't get paid if I take sick days - it's a real good incentive not get sick!

Pregnancy isn't an illness you're correct but it can lead to illnesses e.g. HG or in my case a dangerously low BP and iron levels resulting in bed rest for almost the entirety of my pregnancy.. that was fun