To be pissed off and frustrated with work colleague who is always off sick?

[ManicUnicorn]

I work in a school nursery. There are three members staff, the teacher myself and another TA. Unfortunately the other TA has a tendency to take days off sick. A lot. Bare in mind we are only in week five of the new term, she's had four days off already. She was off sick last Friday, there was no explanation for it and we were just told she was ill. Then she was off for two days the week before that, and now again today!

Now I know people get ill. Especially in schools at this time of year, but this just seems a lot of days scattered about here and there.

It's causing real problems. Today we had activities planned, I knew exactly what I was doing, had my resources ready etc. Arrive to find colleague off sick. Well then everything went to pot. Another member of staff was drafted in from elsewhere, but didn't know the children or where anything was, what we had planned or the routine. Obviously not their fault, but it was stressful nightmare. The kids were horrendous due to the change in routine, again. Colleague also does lunch duty and that was all messed up as well.

AIBU to be annoyed with her? She seemed completley fine yesterday. We all have days where we don't feel too great, or we're tired or whatever but you just have to suck it up and carry on.

[kennycat]

While there may be a legitimate reason for all these absences, your colleague could be one of those people who just have a crap work ethic and don't go to work if they feel the slightest bit less than 100%. These people drive me nuts and in my opinion should just be shot.

For your own sanity I think you need to have a bit of a chat with her to see which camp she falls into, a) actually ill or b) work shy lazybones.

I don't know how this chat would go as I don't know your relationship with her but I'm sure you'll come up with something,

[MasterofKittens]

"It's a good incentive not to get sick"...since when was illness a choice?!?!?

[blueberrypie0112]

The Duchess of Cambridge missed her child’s first day of school because of pregnancy.

[HollyWollyDooDah]

Troublesome on the outside I look young and healthy if a bit overweight
I have a rare neurological disorder, pcos and endo
I haven't had any time off sick in the last two years but the year before that I had 14 weeks out of 52 off
I couldn't help it, I can't even remember those 14 weeks
It is annoying when people are off sick but like others have said maybe she doesnt want everyone to know

[Perfectly1mperfect]

It's difficult as she may genuinely be struggling with illness.

If she's taking the piss then it not really for you to do anything. Her sickness will be being watched and action taken if necessary.

I can see why you are frustrated but there's nothing you can do as its dodgy ground to question someone's sick record, as an equal to her especially. Also the lesson shouldn't be a disaster just because someone is sick, you and the teacher would have a contingency plan as things do happen.

[LucieLucie]

Yanbu to feel pissed off as her being off sick does have a direct negative impact on you.

Ultimately though the blame lies in management failing to operate at a reasonable level taking into account staff absences.

She is entitled to be off sick, the problem is there’s no real contingency plan.

[FeeLock28]

Most workplaces have an absence management policy (three episodes of sickness within three months trigger an interview to check what's occurring - duty of care, etc) or a Bradford calculator, where every episode is multiplied by itself. The latter is particularly good at picking up days off here and there.

As hard as it is to bear, this really isn't your business. The most you can reasonably do is raise it with your manager in terms of asking how he/she is able to support you in dealing with unpredictable absences.

[HazelBite]

Op many years ago I worked in an office and there was a 23 year old graduate was continually having odd days off sick. 18 moths of this and the whole team was making comments , eye rolling etc.
One Monday we came in to the news that he had died over the weekend, as the result of his heart just "giving up".
Only those in HR and his manager knew of his heart condition, (he was waiting for a transplant).
Its none of your business OP, you don't know what is going on in her life. If she is "trying it on" she will be found out.
Either way it is inconvenient for you I know, but really not your place to comment.

[StealthPolarBear]

"She may have a sick relative..."
She may well do but that should not explain her sick leave

[roundaboutthetown]

People who are regularly but unpredictably going off sick put a colossal strain on their work colleagues as only a wealthy, exceptionally well organised workplace can manage that sort of absence so as not to put excessive pressure on those actually turning up to work. Result: all staff end up stressed and getting sick more often, because they can't rely on each other. It doesn't matter whether the illness is real or imagined, there is an impact on the entire workplace. For that reason, the OP is entirely reasonable to be pissed off, just not reasonable to assume her colleague is malingering. And actually, not all children do take constant changes of staff in their stride. It sounds a shitty situation for everyone. If it's only been happening this term, I would assume some undisclosed problem. If it's been like that for years, tbh, I would think the TA concerned should be looking for alternative work better suited to constant absence and better funded than a state school and thus more likely to be able to deal with it through other means than dumping on everyone else.

[maxrayeseth123]

Options:

1, If you are her manager..sack her...

2, Do your job, mind your own business & stop making assumptions...

3, Confront her directly about it next time she is in...

4, Whinge to your boss, stab her in the back & see if you can get her
sacked?!

Pick one.

[StealthPolarBear]

5 continue picking up the slack for as long as possible then go off sick yourself and pass the problem on to some other mug. Once you're off sick no one can complain.

[Glitterbug76]

Where I work we have people who take the p**s and are off sick but away on holiday and I don't mean depression ect .. that would warrant a holiday she rang in to say she could not walk or get out of bed but was on face book walking about , we had to cope with her case load it was reported to management as has others nothing was done ... I don't say anything others do I do my job and any other extra work and make a note like you could if you feel that it's compromised the children. I would do it in an appropriate time perhaps in supervision I've worked in a job for 13 years and I've seen people get away with all sorts but you never know what individual arrangements based on the employees mental or physical health needs are that need to be adhered to

[BabychamSocialist]

It's fair to be annoyed but it's also none of your business. Presumably your manager has been informed of her situation and is making accommodations. I'd imagine she has some form of chronic illness.

[millymae]

You are not being unreasonable to be pissed off by her absences because her not being there has a knock on effect on you and the children, but there isn't a lot that you can do about it.

Presumably the Local Authority ( or whoever you work for) has a sickness policy and monitors absence. Where I work this number of single day absences would definitely lead to questions being asked by the Manager.

[Lethaldrizzle]

Real illness may not be a choice but deciding to take the day off work because you can and you will still get paid is a choice that plenty of people make

[AbsentmindedWoman]

Worth remembering too that it is very difficult to get disability benefits like PIP and ESA on a long term basis. You can be seriously compromised by your health, but denied any financial help. This will grow as disabled people lose a fair chunk of tax credits with the switch to universal credit.

However - chronically ill people still need to eat and pay rent, so some will be forced to take on jobs they really shouldn't be doing in light of their health. Perhaps taking a full time job whereas part time would be more realistic.

But what do you do when you have bills to pay? You try to muddle through, can't help getting sick and needing to go to appointments, and know full well that plenty of people don't believe you're really sick at all.

[WanderingStar1]

Agree with PPs it's not your place to comment or speculate etc, but you will hope your workplace and bosses have an appropriate absence management policy in place. The sad fact of life is that employees have a contract to come into work, and unless they do, can/should be managed out. While we all feel sorry for people with poor health, if they can't fulfil their contract they will face consequences, as most firms can't function without people turning up! If someone's health is very bad they may be designated disabled, but otherwise, having a 'weak chest' or 'tendency to headaches' for example, could lead to termination through incapability. Serious issues would be dealt with through different procedures, of course, but continual persistent absence is hard to sustain especially in small workplaces, and very disruptive to colleagues/clients/ pupils etc. It sounds mean, but I work in HR, and we do need people to turn up to work....

[rebbykay]

I'm a teacher. I'm also pregnant. I'm also currently signed off work with antenatal depression, anxiety and stress.

Because of attitudes like OPs, teachers and school staff notoriously pull themselves in to work when they shouldn't. "Teacher guilt" is real! So many of us drag ourselves to work that when someone actually takes time off, it can be seen negatively. I had a couple of absences before seeing the doctor, who reduced my hours, but thanks to negative attitudes from my colleagues, this only increased my anxiety and resulted in me having a full-blown panic attack whilst managing a class. I was not safe in the environment but I pushed myself to be and because of that, I put myself and my child in danger.

I don't want to be ill. I know the effect it has on the school. I feel terrible every day. I don't even like to leave the house because I'm scared someone will see me and judge me for "looking healthy" (I'm only ten weeks pregnant, so none of my colleagues know yet), even though being outside is the best thing for me to be doing. I feel I've let the kids down, and I feel I've let my school down. So much so that I've handed in my notice because I feel I've messed up completely and now I won't get SMP.

So no. You are being very unreasonable. don't judge who you don't know. I've worked with "piss takers" before, but I've always let it be known to SLT that my workload is pushed and they've always tried to help. There's no point getting salty; it does nothing and it's also not your responsibility.

As for the person who said social media is a give away... No, it isn't. I look fine on social media. My illness is invisible and social media is my connection to the world when I'm trapped at home, consumed by depression. Just because you see me sat on a beach doesn't mean my husband hasn't begged and pleaded in advance for me to get there, whilst I sat in the toilet with severe palpitations and tears.

[shoesarefab]

Funny how it's always a Friday as well. That's what would make me think hmmm🤔

[Suadow]

That’s a really kind way of thinking of it. I have an anxiety disorder that can rear it’s head unexpectedly and causes much distress, it doesn’t play straight either, I mean it’s not linear.

[Bettyspants]

I work in the medical sector and the guilt tri you get for being sick is rather judgmental!! You get a score system for sickness which can involve anything from a chat HR or moving areas.... a colleague was off at the slightest sniff of a cold (he would say it was flu) and seemed to have odd day off most weeks over not a lot. I wish I'd paid more attention to his symptoms, he's been recently diagnosed with leukaemia.

[BlueSapp]

I hope you take heed from some of the stories on here, you never actually know the truth of a work colleges situation.

[Kerala2712]

Very difficult one. Yanbu to be stressed by it, yabu to judge harshly without knowing facts, and you may never know them. I have worked in a department where someone took there own life at work 'unpredictably'- it was predictable- just noone paid enough attention-including me, sadly - perhaps ask how she is when you next see her? Kindly? I wish that colleague of mine had taken the odd day off sick.

[StealthPolarBear]

Maybe op could do with someone asking how she is. Overworked I'm guessing.