To be pissed off and frustrated with work colleague who is always off sick?

[ManicUnicorn]

I work in a school nursery. There are three members staff, the teacher myself and another TA. Unfortunately the other TA has a tendency to take days off sick. A lot. Bare in mind we are only in week five of the new term, she's had four days off already. She was off sick last Friday, there was no explanation for it and we were just told she was ill. Then she was off for two days the week before that, and now again today!

Now I know people get ill. Especially in schools at this time of year, but this just seems a lot of days scattered about here and there.

It's causing real problems. Today we had activities planned, I knew exactly what I was doing, had my resources ready etc. Arrive to find colleague off sick. Well then everything went to pot. Another member of staff was drafted in from elsewhere, but didn't know the children or where anything was, what we had planned or the routine. Obviously not their fault, but it was stressful nightmare. The kids were horrendous due to the change in routine, again. Colleague also does lunch duty and that was all messed up as well.

AIBU to be annoyed with her? She seemed completley fine yesterday. We all have days where we don't feel too great, or we're tired or whatever but you just have to suck it up and carry on.

[Lunde]

Sorry but I think YABU - it is frustrating but not any of your business why she is off sick - it is up to your SLT who have the full picture to take action if any is required

She may have an invisible physical illness, she may have a MH condition, she could be in the early stages of pregnancy.

[StealthPolarBear]

Managers do need to balance supporting a sick colleague with supporting the people who are left to pick up the pieces of his or her job.

[PetitFilous123]

YABU

[PurpleMinionMummy]

Sounds familiar op. Although we don't really miss ours as she's so lazy anyway

[DanHumphreyIsA]

YANBU

She may look young fit and healthy but you can't know the ins and outs.
My DH doesn't look ill most days, but in the past 2 years he's been in hospital for roughly 8 months in total. Luckily his employers are understanding.

I've also been ill a few times where technically I could have dragged myself into work (back problems), but being at work would cause further problems, so I've stayed off.

[DanHumphreyIsA]

Errgh - YABU*

[UsernameInvalid66]

My first thought was that as it's an environment with children, if you have sickness or diarrhoea you have to have 2 days off (and near the beginning of term with a new class, both adults and children tend to pick up a lot of minor illnesses). The only time that's ever happened to me, it was incredibly frustrating as I was actually perfectly well by midday on the first day and got rather bored at home, but they had a "rules are rules" attitude and I can understand why. Yes, she might be taking the piss or have a secret terrible illness, but it could be something as trivial as that.

[Allthebestnamesareused]

There is still the teacher and the OP providing continuity to the children. I am mystified why just because one new TA is away the children's behaviour has deteriorated so much to become "horrendous".

Much more likely that because the OP is pissed off to start every little thing they do is being blown out of proportion.

YABU

[storynanny]

I would have thought that her manager would be aware of an illness which was causing her to need to take time off. I had random odd days off here and there when I was teaching full time, often having appeared fit and well the day before and after. However, the management were aware that I suffered from debilitating migraine from time to time. Only my immediate colleagues would have known the reason.

[Barbie222]

Are the plans so rigid they can't be adapted to suit the number of adults? If so, you're all going to have a tough time. I've never worked in a school where I didn't have to change and adapt for sickness frequently. It could well be you being pulled to cover in another classroom next, and the last thing you want is to step into chaos because nobody can cope with changing a plan. I think you should be guided by the teacher on what to do, too.

[Adultsahouldeatrusks]

YABU

I have been off work on and off for the last 9 months with anxiety and depression. I have tried to return to work on a number of occasions but have ended up being signed off again after a few weeks.

You don’t know what the reason behind her absence is and as it’s not necessary for anyone to tell you, you either need to suck it up and get on with your own job and let your managers sort out sickness cover OR you perhaps shouldn’t have obviously been such a unapproachable and judgemental person and she might have confused in you

[ManicUnicorn]

The reason I'm annoyed is because I spent ages yesterday, even going in early to get everything I needed ready. Each member of staff is assigned an activity, and each day a different group does the activity if that makes sense. Then Friday is a free choice day. My activity was a craft activity, but because colleague was off today the teacher moved me to her activity instead and delegate my craft activity to someone else.

As it is I had no idea what she'd planned to do, she'd not left any notes anywhere that I could refer to so I didn't have a clue what to do and basically had to fill for 30 minutes with a group of 3/4 years olds who are still new to the whole school experience and don't have great attention spans yet.

Yes that might sound tedious, but it's not fair when you've spent a lot of time planning something.

[rightnowimpissed]

op, take that up with thw teacher, don't take it out on this other TA untill you know what her problem is you still cant judge her, be annoyed at the teacher!

[blueberrypie0112]

Does she hate her job (they are more likely lie about being sick) Maybe she truly is sick . You don’t know what she is going through. Like cancer.

[blueberrypie0112]

You could never tell my mother was going through cancer. Or my father. They did look well and fit. Btw, they didn’t survive

[Ollivander84]

I was that colleague, always off sick. It frustrated me so much and I spent masses of time in the doctors trying to work out why I was always ill. 8 years later I got diagnosed and I had virtually no cells that fight infection - that's why I was always off with chest infections/tonsillitis/heavy colds/no voice!

[DaisyLand]

YABVU

"I very much doubt she's got a serious illness like cancer. She's young, fit and healthy, and has a very physical hobby that she's very involved in. Every spare moment is spent in the gym, which is why I'm suspicious I suppose."

It might not be cancer but it might be well anything else, I've just gone through a tough time in life, nobody from outside could have guessed it unless I had told them, this "illness" was making me go to dr appoitments every now and again and apart from that it was causing me anxiety which would left me completly in bed, trust me missing a day of work wasnt the nicest thing to do but had to be done to get recovered.

Just because she's young, "healthy" and fit doesnt mean she's not entitled to have cancer or any other illness.

She needs to give explanations to HR/Bosses and these are the ones that have to sort out the problem that is causing her being absent, not her.

[SarahH12]

Then you need to take it up with the teacher OP.

But really, it's none of your business why she's unwell. Chances are she's given sound reasons to the teacher / HR/ whoever she has to officially inform. But they then can't tell you as it's none of your business.

Outwardly I look fine, young and healthy. But in reality I have 5 different chronic health conditions which all lead to me having time off. The senior management team and occasionally a few other individuals know why I'm off ill at various times but I don't (like many other people) disclose it to all of my colleagues as it's none of their or your business.

[blueberrypie0112]

Also, she probably have a child who is sick so she has to call in sick frequently. I wouldn’t say anything. You may end up regretting it. Just leave it to your boss to deal with her.

[RoseWhiteTips]

Let's not be disingenuous. We all know there are people who are "off ill" a lot. It really does affect the way things work in schools, particularly. In teaching, your work does not sit on your desk waiting for you to return - others have to double up etc and do it for you.

[blueberrypie0112]

But you can ask to hire a helping hand though if these extra work load is getting too much

[Commuterface]

It's really none of your business if she is off sick. Let management deal with it if necessary. As others have said she may have an illness she doesn't have to disclose to anyone. Or she could be pregnant. I had an horrendous first pregnancy and was barely at work with illness and appointments. As I said, none of your business though.

[RoseWhiteTips]

Just wait till it happens to you. Then you might feel differently and be less likely to condone it.

[mollifly]

She's pregnant?

[scoobydooagain]

In RL she is more than likely swinging the lead, leaving others to do the work which she gets paid for. In mumsnet land, she's a saint and you should be honoured to get the opportunity to cover for her.