To be scared about this ex-colleagues message to me?

[Fosterdog123]

Ex-colleague. Both left company earlier this year. Worked with him for about 4 years on various projects. Always professional but I knew he was fond of me. Maintained contact outside work but totally platonically (he's married with children and I've been with someone for 12 years). Saw each other in a group a couple of times and went out for lunch once. He drove. In the car when he was dropping me off, he kind of lunged at me and gave me a big hug. I felt very awkward and he'd totally overstepped the mark and he knew he had. Since then, he's text a lot. I responded benignly at first, saying I was busy. More recently, I didn't text back or pick up his calls. I then blocked his number but a voicemail has just come through from him. It says, "if you don't pick up my calls, you know I'm going to come round don't you and you know what that means don't you. You can run but you can't hide". What would you do?

Don’t keep his number unblocked. You don’t want to have any further communication with him. Block him , go and stay with a friend for a few nights and hopefully you won’t see or hear from him again.

I’m so sorry you went through all that, OP, but thank goodness it appears to be over now. I agree with the advice to go away for a break and recover from this.

And yes, block him completely.

One of my guy friends was super upset because he didn't even realise he'd been dumped - his girlfriend just cut contact with him, he didn't know what was wrong, then saw she was with someone else. She was all like "It was so clear we'd broken up!" but from my experience guys are thick as bricks, they need to be told outright.

I can see why you want to keep his number unblocked, so that you'll be aware of any attempt he might make to contact you.
Definitely don't contact or respond to him, in any way, if he does and report him to the police at once.

It could still be worth going in to a police station now to put on record that this has happened, and that you have told him to leave you alone.

Well done, OP! Let's hope that's the end of it! 👍

As for all the apologists on this thread: men are not that thick. A few special cases (such as some non-neutotypical people) excluded, they know exactly what they're doing. And that it's scary. It's just that they don't give a fuck!

Point in case: I happen to manage a lovely man who also happens to be 6'10 and roughly wardrobe shaped - and he has a bushy dark beard. He also, however, happens not to be a creepy arsehole. He's completely aware of how intimidating his mere physical presence can be and hence makes sure to counteract that impression to the best of his ability. He's not exactly a strident feminist and, while highly intelligent, not the most sensitive to others' feelings in general. He's just not a complete dick.

I too would leave him unblocked, for me if he makes no further attempts that would help me feel reassured that he had given up. On the flip side I would know the second he text again so I could be straight down the police station. As strange as it may sound to me it would feel like having some power back. But everyone is different all you can do is what makes you comfortable.

Well done OP you have handled this well. I know that many people have advised you to tell the wife, can I encourage you not to do this. You have no idea how his wife will react, how he will react or anything. Hopefully the 'sorry' text signals the end of this.

Hi
I was harassed by a woman and her daughter for over a year. Each time they contacted me I would tell them to leave me alone and block them but they always found another way to contact me or would leave messages on various forums asking if anyone knew where I was or how to get in contact with me.

Eventually I confided in a friend who works for the police and she arranged for a very lovely policeman to come round. I printed off all the evidence to show him and he took it very seriously. As I'd already told them several times to leave me alone he had them both served with a harassment warning which means if they contact me or my family or go to my house or place of work they will be arrested and charged with harassment.

The police did say that if it ever went to court I would need to show that I had taken all reasonable action to prevent them contacting me which meant that I must keep them blocked on every medium so it might be better to keep his number blocked.

I have absolutely no intention of contacting his wife.

OP well done I have read the thread start to end

Isn't it horrible how men can scare us ? We read the papers and we know how these things can spiral

I hope this passes and I hope he is a relatively 'normal' Man who has got carried away in this set of circumstances , as opposed to a real threat

Fucker

I am
Also pleased you called the Suzy lamplight trust

Do me a favour and write off this down and print a copy and email yourself a copy

Then park it . Not because I think he will act again but if he does this to another woman you can step in with a testimony to hand

I did this when my friend was violently abused as I wanted to have a record just in case ....

Did he contact you again OP?

No, thankfully, no further contact at all from him.