WIBU to change cats now I know that it's a different sex?

[stonecold85]

We have reserved a cat from a breeder (ready in a few weeks) and had the perfect name, etc. picked out.

We have had pictures sent to us since birth.

Have just been told that it's actually a girl! DS wanted a boy cat (we have a girl cat and DD thinks of it as hers - she has been done though so no problems there).

Now we can't think of a name and DS is miserable. She has said we can change it to a different puppy as she has 2 that are waiting to be reserved.

We've had pictures of her since birth though and it's a bit mean, isn't it?

Oh and puppy because I call them pups but obviously kitten to most people

Oh. My. God. People like you make me despair. It's a living, breathing creature and all you care about is if your name 'fits'. The poor thing would be better off without you.

Disgusting.

What!? You do realise we don't have the cat? Dunno if you missed the bit about DS on purpose or...

Is it a puppy or a kitten?

Either way...if she originally told you it was male and now for some weird reason, it's not...then of course you should change the animal you reserved.

Yeah, just 'change the animal'. Ffs

So...
you already have a girl cat but you don't have a cat.
And it's a puppy (because everyone refers to kittens as puppies and I'm sure the breeder would've, too ) but also a kitten.
Righto

Where did I say we don't have a cat? We have a girl cat?

I'd say it's only disgusting if you already had the cat and then wanted to swap it.
The kitten isn't going to know any different, it's not like it's being moved around loads, and a cat is a big commitment, you want it to be the right fit.

And I already said that I call them pups, hamsters used to be a huge part of my life for years and they're usually hamster pups, so I do call most baby animals pups...

That's why I said we don't have the cat, to confirm they knew that. Not that I don't have a cat...

Could you not just keep to the original kitten and call it the name you had chosen. I really don't think the cat will care that it has a boys name.

As a child we had a cat with a very stupid boys name that was a girl. It was a bit embarrassing at the vet but other than that It didn't really matter. She answered to it.

I personally couldn't pick a different cat now, even though you don't yet have it.

I think you’re getting a bit of a hard time here OP.

If your ds wanted a boy and you purposely chose the kitten based on this then of course it’s fine to swap kittens at this stage.

That said, if there is any attachment to this kitten already then perhaps it was meant to be!

You should be more interested in how the personality is going to fit with your household, not what sex it is.

As a dog breeder, people who demand one sex or the other without very good reason (other breeders or people who are going to compete) don't generally get one from me. I've lost track of times that people have said they'd like girl/boy and I've told them that the one picked out for them is the opposite sex but will be the most suited to their family, and not once in 20 years has anyone not been happy with my matching them to the right puppy.

I can understand the upset. It’s not your but your DS. Can you ask him what he wants to do. Girl cat that he’s seen photos of or a boy cat that he hasn’t. Takes it out of your hands then.

I will preface this by saying I'm a dog person and don't know much about breeding cats, but...

How long has the breeder been telling you this kitten is male? Presumably if they're going to be ready in a few weeks they're around nine weeks old now so why has it taken them so long to realise they've made a mistake? I know kittens are much harder to sex than puppies but still, you'd think a decent breeder would be able to do it fairly reliably.

Perhaps I'm doing them a disservice and it's completely normal for responsible breeders to sex kittens wrongly but it does feel like that should be ringing alarm bells.

You're obviously going to get it neutered, so then it won't really be anything. Just tell your son it's a boy. We had a male cat that we thought was a girl. We named her Molly, and referred to with feminine pronouns. It didn't do her any harm at all

Wow. If you get your cat neutered it ‘won’t be anything’. The way some people view animals is horrifying. Truly. They’re not just toys or accessories you know. They are living, sentient creatures.

Oh. My. God. People like you make me despair. It's a living, breathing creature and all you care about is if your name 'fits'. The poor thing would be better off without you. Disgusting

^ this

Agreed Pivoine

Also, as for calling kittens puppies, ridiculous.

Wow. If you get your cat neutered it ‘won’t be anything’.

Don't be an ass. You know what I mean, a neutered animal has no sex organs. Therefore no longer technically male or female.

And if course they're sentient creatures, but they don't know if they have a boy's name or a girl's name.

@steff13 but what about their DNA? Surely it would still show they're male/female...

I wouldn't do it, OP. Who cares what sex they are?

Change it if you want. I'm sure I've read it's better to have opposite sex cats because they're less likely to compete with each other.

I think you're getting an unfairly hard time! It's not like you're kicking the kitten out onto the streets - just switching for an unreserved litter mate. Presumably they'll all end up going to good homes.

I bet you regret posting here now OP... "is it a bit mean?" "It's DISGUSTING!!"

They haven't adopted the kitten yet, she doesn't know them. She knows nothing but feeding from her mother and playing with her siblings. I don't see any harm at all in them adopting one of the males - and part of what I do is rehome kittens.

Of course you could bring the male kitten home and find it decides it wants to be your DDs kitten too. Cats seem to have an innate instinct for fucking up your plans

(You'd have had more sensible replies if you posted in "Litter Tray" - where you would also find people who read properly instead of rushing because they need to get all their insults out before they combust...)

There are some odd people on here.

If the OP has not yet taken the kitten, it's fine to switch to another litter mate.

And I can't believe someone was huffing and puffing with outrage because someone said that a cat "won't be anything" once it is neutered! All that poster meant is that neutered cats do not display very much in the way of sex-specific characteristics (= queens yowling and going on heat, toms peeing everywhere and having big fat faces), therefore the sex should not really matter if you are going to neuter.