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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to change cats now I know that it's a different sex?

157 replies

stonecold85 · 03/10/2017 01:54

We have reserved a cat from a breeder (ready in a few weeks) and had the perfect name, etc. picked out.

We have had pictures sent to us since birth.

Have just been told that it's actually a girl! DS wanted a boy cat (we have a girl cat and DD thinks of it as hers - she has been done though so no problems there).

Now we can't think of a name and DS is miserable. She has said we can change it to a different puppy as she has 2 that are waiting to be reserved.

We've had pictures of her since birth though and it's a bit mean, isn't it?

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 03/10/2017 19:14

This gorgeous, soft lump of fur is a rescue cat...

WIBU to change cats now I know that it's a different sex?
strawberrypenguin · 03/10/2017 19:33

If it’s the name that’s important just call it that anyway! You don’t really sound like responsible pet owners if he name is the most important thing though. And just because it was supposed to be a boy doesn’t mean it would favour your DS. Cats pick their own ‘person’ this one (regardless of gender) could end up preferring your DD too

LineysRun · 03/10/2017 19:36

You lost me at forgetting you were supposed to be writing about a kitten not a puppy.

minipie · 03/10/2017 19:50

You should be more interested in how the personality is going to fit with your household, not what sex it is.

This. The question should be "which kitten will get on best with my existing cat". A new male kitten could get on very well with your female cat - or he could bully her or try to hump her (yes even after the snip) - all depends on his personality. Hopefully the breeder will have a good idea of their personalities by now and choose you the right one. But that might be a girl...

kali110 · 03/10/2017 20:04

And thirdly I ALSO think its weird you've gone to a breeder. I can understand it a little more for a dog where personality is key. A cat lives its own life pretty much - it doesnt need to be selected for personality type and there are shit loads in shelters.
Are you saying cats dont have personalities?
Someone should have told mine Confused

I've never know a male cat to be affectionate
Do you know every male cat then?
All of ours are affectionate, so are my families and friends.
I don't know a male cat that isn't so maybe its just yours Hmm

kali110 · 03/10/2017 20:06

Don't be an ass. You know what I mean, a neutered animal has no sex organs. Therefore no longer technically male or female
It doesn't mean it stops the unwanted traits.
Cats can still fight for areas and still spray even after being neutered.

splendidisolation · 03/10/2017 20:06

@kali110

You need to work on your reading comprehension.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 03/10/2017 20:09

You lost me at forgetting you were supposed to be writing about a kitten not a puppy

Aha! I see it clearly now. Grin

ProperLavs · 03/10/2017 20:10

kali read the thread.

I think the cat you get shouldn't be assigned a gender anyway. easiest all round.

kali110 · 03/10/2017 21:41

You need to work on your reading comprehension.
I was simply saying no matter what happens after neutering the sex it is still shows, but do carry on being an ass Hmm

ProperLavs · 03/10/2017 21:57

My boy cat is still very much a crazy Tom. Neutering hasn't changed his personality at all; He is skittish and a hunter. My girl cat has become even more dopey since being spayed, if that were possible.

ethelfleda · 03/10/2017 22:04

I don't think it's be unreasonable to change your selected kitten as such - but as others said I really wish you'd considered getting a rescue rather than a new kitten from a breeder.

WWYD22123 · 04/10/2017 02:10

Don't be an ass. You know what I mean, a neutered animal has no sex organs. Therefore no longer technically male or female

That’s like saying a woman who has a hysterectomy is no longer female. Confused

Pivoine · 04/10/2017 03:12

A lot of people on here seem to view animals as no more than objects. Terribly depressing.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 04/10/2017 03:18

I don't view animals as objects, but if you are getting a cat from a breeder and you want a specific sex, then nothing wrong with changing your selection!

Pivoine · 04/10/2017 03:23

It’s just that - all the getting ‘it’ from a ‘breeder’ and the ‘selection process’ it’s kind of horrible. As many have already said, too, there are so many unwanted and unloved cats in the world, why on earth would anyone go to a breeder.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 04/10/2017 03:48

Pivoine, I get that, all my cats are rescues (vet). But I see a lot of care that people have "bought off gumtree" with no comeback if there are any issues, so, weighing it up, I don't have too much of a problem if people have researched a breed and found a reputable breeder, because they have at least put some thought into it. And if they have, it's not unreasonable for them to have selected one sex or another for whatever reason. At least that pet is wanted and not just got on a whim. As too many , sadly, are these days.

TheClaws · 04/10/2017 06:45

Pivoine I’m happy to tell you why I went to a breeder, and why I insisted on a female. 1. I adore cats, but over the years I’ve had a mix of lovely girls and tempestuous boys. 2. My husband isn’t a pet person. At all. I had to work on him for a few years before he agreed to a kitten, and it had to be a low-shedding one.

For these reasons, I researched breeds and decided on Burmese, as they are supposed to be low shedders and are very agreeable, talky cats. I just didn’t want to leave the temperament of any new cat up to chance. I’m really pleased I didn’t - my Burmese girl is the best ever. Even my husband likes her Smile

Jenala · 04/10/2017 07:21

It's not about what you want as a pet though. It's about our collective responsibility to rehome all stray animals in the world until none exist because if we l just stopped being horrible fuckers that day would one day arrive.

Carefully choosing a pet that will suit the family and therefore make it less likely to ever need a new home is disgusting and irresponsible. You should take whatever you can get and suffer gamely on, as that is what pet ownership means.

Ha! Enjoy your new cat OP, get whatever you want. Sounds like you're making a sensible choice.

BarbarianMum · 04/10/2017 08:08

Some if you are off your rockers. Of course the OP can change kittens, or even change her mind about getting a kitten because she doesn't have one yet. Breeder is hardly going to drown the "reject".

TheClaws · 04/10/2017 08:30

Jenala - is because I, and others like me, chose our pets carefully to suit their new homes they are less likely to be abandoned and fill the shelters you are talking about. It is not “disgusting and irresponsible”, FGS. Using savage breeds for cock-fighting rings, that’s disgusting. Honestly.

Jenala · 04/10/2017 08:43

Sorry! I was being sarcastic but perhaps a bit too much. Reading it back the last sentence doesn't make it clear like I thought it did. It was meant to be a joke, anyway. I think you should get whatever pet you want! Smile

TheClaws · 04/10/2017 08:54

Jenala reading back, I can just catch it ... all good!

CaptainBrickbeard · 04/10/2017 08:54

I would just call the cat by the chosen name and male pronouns; why would it matter? The cat won't know!

OverinaFlash · 04/10/2017 11:10

@ShesNoNormanPace I wonder if my friend is your neighbour?

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