WIBU to change cats now I know that it's a different sex?

[stonecold85]

We have reserved a cat from a breeder (ready in a few weeks) and had the perfect name, etc. picked out.

We have had pictures sent to us since birth.

Have just been told that it's actually a girl! DS wanted a boy cat (we have a girl cat and DD thinks of it as hers - she has been done though so no problems there).

Now we can't think of a name and DS is miserable. She has said we can change it to a different puppy as she has 2 that are waiting to be reserved.

We've had pictures of her since birth though and it's a bit mean, isn't it?

The big warm lump of a boy cat who is snuggled up next to me now was sold to us as a girl - it was slightly confusing when we realised and we still referred to him as "she" for a couple of months but we wouldn't swap him! And we didn't change his name - it's Tikka so although slightly femin8ne sounding it's not really a human name so can work for either.

It's a bit different in your case OP as you haven't lived with and got to know the kitten - hopefully the breeder will still be able to find a home for the girl if you have a boy instead. Maybe ask your DS what he'd prefer.

As an aside, we refer to all baby animals as kittens in this house

shelters are literally bursting at the seams with cats, including kittens

You're not wrong there. I had nine this summer, and still have two, albeit reserved. Pedigree doesn't get you a better personality, it just buys "pretty". It's a bit sad. Whenever we get a pedigree in we get high interest almost the minute it goes up on the site even when it's high maintenance and will only deign to shit on puffed sweetcorn that costs £25 a bag, yet a little black cat with the most loving personality in the world will stay with me for six months...

But that's how it goes. Lots of people prize aesthetics, just look at all the house decor/designer bag threads on here.

Only read the first page as in a studio but bloody hell poor Op! You would think you were asking whether you should torture the kitten to death for being the wrong sex judging by some of the responses on here .

Do what is best for you and your family. I am sure they won't drown the kitten if you don't chose it so people should calm down a bit.

All those of you saying don't use breeders, go to shelters, well it's not that simple. The shelters round here make it mighty difficult to acquire one of their cats.
I get that they have to have some idea where the cats are going, but the list of stipulations, restrictions, vetting and house inspections are really off putting. Then they wonder why they have so many cats needing homes.

I think you are very brave to take on this poor kitty, it's not everyone who could cope with homing a trans cat.....

I would ask the breeder, as its not yet in your possession, see what she says.

She told op it was a boy, when it infact was a girl, so yes op has every right to ask. If she had the cat already, thank i would be a bit .

I think you are very brave to take on this poor kitty, it's not everyone who could cope with homing a trans cat

Quite!

OP, do you think you're equipped to embrace the multiple identities of this animal, and to address the multicultural aspects of raising a puppy-kitten as well as the trans aspects?

And thirdly I ALSO think its weird you've gone to a breeder. I can understand it a little more for a dog where personality is key. A cat lives its own life pretty much - it doesnt need to be selected for personality type and there are shit loads in shelters.

This is just stupid. You really think there is no difference between having a bengal as a pet or having a main coon or a persian?

@DancesWithOtters I think the next male acquisition might have to be a Hoggle!

I get that they have to have some idea where the cats are going, but the list of stipulations, restrictions, vetting and house inspections are really off putting. Then they wonder why they have so many cats needing homes

Fucking shocking, shelters making such a big deal out of ensuring their cats go to suitable, comfortable homes where they'll recieve the best quality of life. They should be handing the cats out free with a copy of the daily mirror if they've so many needing homes.

Orangutango Not Lucifer, Lucy was thought to be a girl for the first few months and then wouldn't answer to anything else, in the typical knobhead way he lived the rest of his life. Evil little sod he was.

Don't be an ass. You know what I mean, a neutered animal has no sex organs. Therefore no longer technically male or female

Nobody is that stupid, are they? Please tell me you don't actually think a neutered animal no longer has a sex?

The mind boggles.

My male cats have always been far more affectionate than my female cats!

I don't think there's anything wrong, at all, with selecting another cat from the breeder before you have actually taken it home. It's not like it's going to care or feel rejected or upset. If that's what your son would prefer to do, chose the male kitten.

I suspect you're actually getting a puppy anyway, but were trying to mix up the details a bit - loads of people do similar with the age or sex of their children to make themselves less identifiable on here.

I don't understand why people don't like black cats, btw. We have a gorgouse slinky black male cat and a pretty fluffy black female cat, both "mongrels" and both with absolutely lovely personalities. They're both shiny and attractive!

I thought I was getting 1 of each. Went along to the vets to find both was female. Kept the name as it doesn't make a difference and even now I still refer to her as a he/him etc.
You don't own a cat a cat owns you so which ever cat you pick it will do it's own thing.

Fucking shocking, shelters making such a big deal out of ensuring their cats go to suitable, comfortable homes where they'll recieve the best quality of life. They should be handing the cats out free with a copy of the daily mirror if they've so many needing homes.

Some of them can go OTT to be fair. The very same charity I foster for once refused to let me adopt a second cat because my neighbours had dogs!

Some crazy replies here. Even if neutered of course the cat will still have sex organs they don't take the penis off ffs . Are women who have had a hysterectomy not women any longer?! and equally they will still have hormones.

The biggest issue here, is that your existing cat will not be happy. The biggest cause of stress for domestic cats is living with another cat. Tough luck for your ds unfortunately but you really should not be adding another cat. The breeder should know that. If they give a shit about anything other than winning rosettes and money that is.

So no-one should have more than one cat? Lots of people with multiple happy cats are going to disagree with you there.

I think YABABU and also for calling them puppies. 🙃

I've never know a male cat to be affectionate

Tell that to our boy who lies all over you when you're sat on the sofa.

And for those that think neutering/spaying removes all traces of sex, tell that to my girl cat who was assaulted by the local Tom. And apparently that's not unusual.

This is just stupid. You really think there is no difference between having a bengal as a pet or having a main coon or a persian?

^this, there are pretty noticeable differences between pedigree cat breeds just like there are with dogs. They're not all the same by a long way.

Camellia I agree it is shocking. The shelters are packed and they are turning away cats and it's not for lack of people wanting to adopt.

I think you should change kittens if she's not what you want.

As an aside, we adopted our moggie from the local RSPCA. We had to have a home visit (lasted all of 10 mins), fill in a form and pay £65, and then she was ours. It was no hassel at all and they were lovely.

She has rather odd markings but we think she's purrfect. They were amazing at matching us with the right cat for us.

'My' cat is super cute and affectionate UNLESS you happen to be a rabbit or other furry creature whereupon you will have your head chewed off (literally) for her breakfast. Yum!
PS, Moles don't taste good.
Previous cat was similarly affectionate but was a tom.