Oh dear. It sounds like things have been building up for your OP and they came to a head at dinnertime. Obviously, you're going to have to have a chat to your DD later on when the dust has settled, but I think maybe a bit of honesty is called for here. YANBU to want to have some peace and quiet at the weekends - really you aren't. Even if your DD's bf is a nice guy it really isn't U to want your home to yourself and your family at least some weekends. I too am 43 and I would absolutely HATE to have someone stay every single weekend, particularly someone who wasn't invited by me. I think you should tell your DD that while you're happy to have bf at yours maybe half the time, you need a bit of space, peace and quiet and would really appreciate it if they could spend the other weekends at his.
TBH they are being selfish by expecting you to host them every bloody weekend and if she's 19 it's about time she started thinking about others a little bit more. Teenagers are naturally self-centred, so it's not surprising that they haven't thought how this is for you, but she really has to start seeing things from other people's perspective too. It's her home, yes, but it's also yours and you have a right to enjoy at least every other weekend peacefully.
As for the peri-menopause, etc, well yeah I think around this age a lot of us are going through hormonal changes - shorter/longer cycles, increased moodiness at times, heavier/lighter/generally unpredictable periods, spots, etc. It's not great. I hope your doctor is better than mine, who said 'You're not menopausal, you're only 43' to which I replied 'No, peri-menopausal' and he just brushed me off. Next time I think I'll go to a Well Woman clinic or someone who specialises in women's health. Many GPs strike me as rather clueless when it comes to this stuff.