To think she has no self respect. Or respect for others for that matter

[Bippitybopityboo]

DM runs a pub. DH occasionally helps out and does DJing at party's now and again.
He came in tonight and was laughing about a girl who was recently the barmaid at a hotel where we attended a wedding. DH told me about the conversation they had...

Girl: can you play some new chart stuff please?
DH: sure
Girl: I recognise you? You were at a wedding at hotel 2 weeks ago with your wife wasn't you.
DH: ohh yes was you there?
Girl: yes I work there. Your wife is really pretty.
Dh: haha thanks

Girl goes to dance, come back to ask for lots of songs repeatedly through the night.

Towards the end of the night
Girl: do you want to come back and finish the night with me and my friend?

DH declined.

How FUCKING RUDE!!

DH and DM are laughing saying she's just a silly little girl but I'm fuming!
She knows he's married as she complimented me in the night. Why would you offer a married man yourself on a plate. AIBU to think she has no self respect or respect for others especially fellow women.
I hope one day when she's settled down some little tramp throws themselves at her bloody husband!

'I used to be a bit of an 'other women' hater,'

It's not about women hating, it's about pissed up people behaving like arses, not a news flash I agree but we are allowed to complain about it.

If the op said on a night a bloke asked how her husband was then asked her if she wanted to go back to his, would he just be 'being friendly' and wouldn't be after a shag? Would we be allowed to say he was a slimy twat or not? In MN world everyone's just been friendly and its to be expected apparently, especially if you're a DJ or work in a pub because it's all 'part of the scene'.

Jesus I can’t believe all the stick op is getting.

It’s not great I’d be miffed too, just leave it clearly she is a bit daft. My hubby would tell me straight away and would probably be secretly boastfully chuffed.

Most of us at some point it will be offered it on a plate regardless of wether they know about our life or not, it’s not so unusual.

I think this is a fantasy and OP just wanted to have a pop at the 'girls' she so despises, ie. those who cannot stop themselves from chasing and stealing poor, defenceless married men who have absolutely no reason ever to stray...

The misogynistic and disgusting crap came later from frothers also keen to spray bile everywhere.

Because OP, the 'event' just really wasn't one, was it? Nothing happened. But you have a thread full of loudmouths backing you up.

All the posters on here using the disgustingly sexist terms, such as slag, tramp, ect, to describe this young woman, need to remember that young women would not behave like this if so many men didn't feel it acceptable to cheat on their wives. That's the real disgrace.

Silly tart
But the good thing is he told you straight and told her NO

Why wouldn't someone be annoyed at someone trying to pull their partner aibu is strange !

Oh poverty! Not all Men cheat
Not all Women are trodden down sisters

That's a very narrow view

I reserve the right to call a girl that tries to pull a man she know is married a 'tart'

And on the many, many occasions I was hit on by married men I sneered at their jaded wives for being unable to keep their men happy. Because I just didn't have a clue

Great post, but god that’s depressing

Annoyed is one thing. Raining down misogynist abuse is another. Why does it affect anyone if their partner gets offered sex? Women get offered sex all the time, it's just a given that if their married they say no.

There's no endless moralising that men need to stop offering women sex because it's shameless, manipulative witchery and done by slappers and slags. Nobody calls men those things.

@WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat

Very good point Morris, I'd be very interested where *@MNHQ* stand on calling women slags, sluts etc. It really does reek of hate speech.

Thanks all. We will raise this and discuss in the office.

Generally, as it stands, whilst we do not condone that sort of language and it is unsisterly - it is not against the talk guidelines unless used a direct personal attack.

We do think changes in the use of language happen over time and actually allowing the words to be posted and folks explaining why they shouldn't be used actually helps show people why it's shitty to use derogatory terms against women.

We don't think adding filters to block specific words would work on Mumsnet. If you think differently, please do start a Site Stuff thread and we can discuss it with you over there.

What word do you use for a man who tries to pull a woman he knows is married?

I agree with you op

Morris, a lowlife. Same for a man or a woman who does that.

This thread is a disgrace.

I'm very aware of that stopfucking, but unfortunately enough men and indeed women do, that singles think they're in with a chance. Really pathetic. What's also pathetic, is grown women using misogynistic terms to describe a young woman. I swear to fuck, just when I hope that young women are growing up in in a more enlightened age, because of feminism, this shit proves otherwise.

"Generally, as it stands, whilst we do not condone that sort of language and it is unsisterly..."

Right Rebecca, because hitting on a 'sister's' dh is perfectly acceptable.

I'd like to hear how that office conversation goes. Perhaps we should stop calling men cunts also when they behave appalling

Cheeky little bint. I'd be popping over to her workplace at busy Sunday lunch time and loudly but politely informing her that you'd appreciate if she did not solicit threesomes with married customers.

Seriously?!

Nothing happened. Your DH said no. He's laughing about it.
I used to work in a nightclub with my DH. (STBX now but for other reasons). He'd get offers nightly. He laughed them off and always came home with me.

The miserable harridan wife and the shameless little hussy are two sides of the same sexist coin. How about men taking responsibility for their own ability to remain faithful.

Agree with you OP.

I'm laughing at MNHQ's anti- "hate speech" posture, because thats all it is. They constantly allow individual posters to be attacked and villified, as long as its done in a politically correct way of course thats alright ...

Jesus, this thread. The woman-hating language. The belief that women, not men, are to blame for male infidelity. The insecurity so strong it's coming off in waves from some of these posts.

'This thread is a disgrace.'

It is. The ops accused of 'stealth boasting', suggesting she 'doesnt like younger women' .She didn't call anyone a slut or a slag she just complained, as many do on mn, about something that happened.

The mockery of her is just a shit as calling the other woman a slapper.

'How about men taking responsibility for their own ability to remain faithful.'

Anyone, male or female asking a married person back to theirs deserves all the name calling they get. As does the married person if they went, which in this case they didn't!

I'm with you, OP, though I don't agree with the mysogonistic terms.
People (of either sex) who proposition people that they know are in relationships/married are being rude and disrespectful. Yes it is the responsibility of the married person to turn them down, however that doesn't absolve the single person of any wrongdoing. And that goes for affairs as well.
As for self respect, well people respect themselves for different reasons. I couldn't respect myself if I had sex with someone that I knew was married, because I think it's a shitty thing to do. Each to their own though.

yy MorrisZapp

I'm heartsick of the vile terms that women use to degrade other women for not taking responsibility for fending off their husbands. It's up to your husbands to NOT cheat on you.

RebeccaMumsnet, thanks, it's well overdue. There's annoyance and then there's outright misogyny and it doesn't belong on this site.

Lying are you reading this thread.

OP's dh did not cheat. He was propositioned by someone who knew he was married. Not fucking cool.

And an arsehole act by any sex.

This thread is mental. My OH and I would have laughed this off without a second thought.

@Bippitybopityboo your husband sounds funny "I've still got it"!

Also she sounds like she has low self esteem and was trying to prove something by getting an attractive married man to cheat on his pretty wife therefore proving she's prettier than you... backfired a wee bit didn't it! 😂