To think she has no self respect. Or respect for others for that matter

[Bippitybopityboo]

DM runs a pub. DH occasionally helps out and does DJing at party's now and again.
He came in tonight and was laughing about a girl who was recently the barmaid at a hotel where we attended a wedding. DH told me about the conversation they had...

Girl: can you play some new chart stuff please?
DH: sure
Girl: I recognise you? You were at a wedding at hotel 2 weeks ago with your wife wasn't you.
DH: ohh yes was you there?
Girl: yes I work there. Your wife is really pretty.
Dh: haha thanks

Girl goes to dance, come back to ask for lots of songs repeatedly through the night.

Towards the end of the night
Girl: do you want to come back and finish the night with me and my friend?

DH declined.

How FUCKING RUDE!!

DH and DM are laughing saying she's just a silly little girl but I'm fuming!
She knows he's married as she complimented me in the night. Why would you offer a married man yourself on a plate. AIBU to think she has no self respect or respect for others especially fellow women.
I hope one day when she's settled down some little tramp throws themselves at her bloody husband!

Oh ffs. The ‘misogynists’ are in the vast minority on this thread, which is as it should be. Can we get a little perspective?

'By the same token, why would it even register as something he needs to mention?'
Why wouldn't be? My dh tells me when a woman at work tries to flirt with him. We both laugh about it.

'Myrtle, just because you don't like being picked up on actually being, you know, a misogynist.'

Lying please c&p any misogynistic comments I've made, if not I'd like an apology please. If you mean a generic 'you' and not me personally can you make it clearer next time?

This thread is such a depressing read. Especially when people like Myrtle and TheStoic can't see the problem, even after it's been pointed out dozens of times.

We have a long way to go, and it's especially sad when it's women holding women back.

Yeah nice try. I get tired of the word ‘misogynist’ being thrown around like confetti.

It’s lazy.

Like any other word that is uncomfortable because it's the truth.

Myrtle what you're attempting to do is silence. Well I will call it as I see it. I think misogyny is out of place anywhere but it's deplorable on Mumsnet which is a predominantly female space. If you need to be told.

'Especially when people like Myrtle and TheStoic can't see the problem'

I don't agree with name calling. The issue here is whether it was a man or a woman inviting a married person home, I wouldn't think highly of them. Can we stop pretending she was 'being friendly'.

Bit of an overreaction to your husband being invited to a house party OP

I wonder why your DH told you? He must have known you well enough to know it would make you jealous?

I would have thought finishing the night meant come back for a drink? Not I'm offering to have sex.

*I'm not sure why the DH passed it along to OP.

I've never felt the need to do that. Nor has DH*

That's quite sad that you and your husband feel you can't share or talk about these things.

*I think misogyny is out of place anywhere but it's deplorable on Mumsnet which is a predominantly female space."

If only the individual in question had your sense of sisterhood

The irony

Women who ask for sex from a man they like are not 'tramps', 'slappers' or 'have no self respect'. She knew what she wanted and she asked, then she went away

They absolutely are if they offer themselves up on a plate to a knowingly married man.

If only the individual in question had your sense of sisterhood

Half this thread seems obsessed with this idea that being against misogynistic language rests on an idea of sisterhood, and it's nonsense. I can be against hate speech against women without thinking that all women must be nice to each other (otherwise they deserve hate speech), just as I can oppose racist language without thinking that all members of a racial minority should have each other's backs.

Glad to read that you've calmed down now OP. It's not nice obviously to have your DH hit upon, although tbh I'm not convinced that's what they meant, but it's great that he felt he could tell you and have a laugh about it.

As for:

She obviously meant threesome.

No, not obvious to me at all.

Cheeky little bint. I'd be popping over to her workplace at busy Sunday lunch time and loudly but politely informing her that you'd appreciate if she did not solicit threesomes with married customers.

If this is true, you need help.

And lastly, I'm another person disgusted by the language being used by some posters. What's wrong with calling her a slimy twat, the same as you'd call a man, instead of resorting to deeply unpleasant misogynistic language that has historically been used by men to keep women in their place? Why one word for men and another for women?

My cousin and ex were DJ's it happens. A lot! I wouldn't worry about it tbh.

I am flummoxed! Sometimes people are annoying . This girl was annoying - you don't ask someone about their wife and then invite them back to your for an after party !
But I guess the message is express annoyance but don't use a derogatory term that's gender specific ?

I hate the term slag , and all it stands for

But bitch yeah . Some people are bitchy and I'd use it about a man - and have

I formally attest this displeasure at this young women's behaviour . She acted inappropriately

'I formally attest this displeasure at this young women's behaviour . She acted inappropriately'

Yes, surely no one can object to that?

Oops don't copy that I made a typo

Are you talking to me lying, or suggesting what should be said to someone inviting a married person back to theirs. You need to be a bit clearer with your posts

Wow, come back from my afternoon out with David Guetta to this.
There was no house party it was clear what she ment however believe what you will. It was inappropriate of her but hey I'm over it.

Let's stick with 'inappropriate behaviour ' and let this lie

stopfuckingshoutingatme

I imagine you dislike younger women
Wtf? OP is entitled to dislike this disrespectful little skank.

As for using words like slag etc - if it quacks like a duck...

@MNHQ it's also quite unsisterly to proposition a married man.

Pmsl at all the women here desperate to make out that she meant anything other than an offer of sex.

What happened is not unusual, however annoying it may be for you @bipitybipityboo

But the girls were being cheeky, and yes RUDE, as they knew he was married, and it IS appalling behaviour for someone (male OR female) to proposition someone they know is married, or with someone.

Happens a lot with DJs and singers and performers etc though.

Don't let it worry too much. I am not condoning it, but this does happen.

Still puzzled at to why he had to tell you though.

Is he trying to make you jealous?

Something similar happened with my husband a few times some years back. He went to the pub a month with mates, and every time, (for about 7-10 months,) he came home with a tale of how this woman and that woman had come onto him. I just listened and said nothing.

Then this one time I went out with mates ONCE - after 13 months of staying in looking after the kids, and a man made a very obvious beeline for me, offered me drinks, asked me to dance, asked me back to his place. I refused all. My friend I went out with came home with me and told my husband exactly what happened. He almost has a meltdown.

He was happy to brag about women coming onto him all the time, but when the tables were turned, he couldn't handle it. Oddly, he had no more tales of women coming onto him.

About 10 years later, he confessed he had made it all up to make me jealous. Fuck knows why. Insecurity probably.

Could your husband be exaggerating OP? Or even making it up?

YANBU by the way. You have every right to be pissed off.