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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think she has no self respect. Or respect for others for that matter

268 replies

Bippitybopityboo · 01/10/2017 03:04

DM runs a pub. DH occasionally helps out and does DJing at party's now and again.
He came in tonight and was laughing about a girl who was recently the barmaid at a hotel where we attended a wedding. DH told me about the conversation they had...

Girl: can you play some new chart stuff please?
DH: sure
Girl: I recognise you? You were at a wedding at hotel 2 weeks ago with your wife wasn't you.
DH: ohh yes was you there?
Girl: yes I work there. Your wife is really pretty.
Dh: haha thanks

Girl goes to dance, come back to ask for lots of songs repeatedly through the night.

Towards the end of the night
Girl: do you want to come back and finish the night with me and my friend?

DH declined.

How FUCKING RUDE!!

DH and DM are laughing saying she's just a silly little girl but I'm fuming!
She knows he's married as she complimented me in the night. Why would you offer a married man yourself on a plate. AIBU to think she has no self respect or respect for others especially fellow women.
I hope one day when she's settled down some little tramp throws themselves at her bloody husband! Angry

OP posts:
Ilovemysonthemost · 01/10/2017 09:18

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BeyondThePage · 01/10/2017 09:20

I just don't understand why go for a man you know is married that's all

Honestly? quick fling, no strings sex...

greendale17 · 01/10/2017 09:20

It's a bit obvious what the girl meant

Girls like that are shameless tramps

PovertyPain · 01/10/2017 09:24

You'd better get used to it, OP, and learn to laugh about it. A young girl was tipsy and tried it on. Big deal. It would be worth worrying about if he reciprocated. My DH was a roadie for years and often got young girls flirting with him. They would even do it in front of me, but I just laughed it off, as I could see my poor, shy husband cringing with embarrassment. It's only worth worrying about if you don't trust him. It's the nature of the job.

mumofone234 · 01/10/2017 09:25

I'm with you OP - it doesn't matter how old she is, that's not on.

Whizbang · 01/10/2017 09:25

And you greendale are misogynistic and judgemental

Twoleggeddog · 01/10/2017 09:26

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Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 01/10/2017 09:29

Im going to make a special point of not checking out your poxy store twoleggeddog

MorrisZapp · 01/10/2017 09:30

So a married man and a single woman drive off to 'continue the party' in private.

And the woman is the villain of the piece? This is Old Testament stuff.

MorrisZapp · 01/10/2017 09:30

Gotta love an urban twist.

RoryItsSnowing · 01/10/2017 09:32

The worst part is the awful grammar they both apparently used in the conversation.

'You was there' ?!?!

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 01/10/2017 09:33

I think he added the pretty bit himself to soften the blow.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 01/10/2017 09:33

Aren't you a charm greendale Hmm

Original poster
Bippitybopityboo · 01/10/2017 09:34

I know Rory it's a poor show isn't it!

OP posts:
xMeowx · 01/10/2017 09:34

Twoleggeddog

No thanks. I can go to H&M and get the same stuff. Reported you btw

User843022 · 01/10/2017 09:35

'And the woman is the villain of the piece? This is Old Testament stuff.'

Well, she's not a 'villain' Confused, however it is rather disingenuous to suggest as pp have that anyone male or female asking someone how their partner is, then inviting them back to theirs is 'being friendly'.

Schmoopy · 01/10/2017 09:37

Yeah, I thought the same, Rory

WeAllHaveWings · 01/10/2017 09:37

I've had a few DJ friends over the years (of very varying attractiveness) and women flirt and are suggestive with them it's the same with barmen, it's just part of the job or in today's pc world sexual harassment. Djs get hit upon every night and 99.9%of the time the women are just teasing and the dj/barman plays along with the flirting, then everyone goes home feeling good after a little innocent flirting to their own home and partners.

Tell your dh it's not because he is stunning, it's simply because he was the dj.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 01/10/2017 09:40

Actually, I'm going to hazard a guess that most of the misogyny on this thread is emanating from the younger populace. When I think back to my late teens and early twenties, I used to be a bit of an 'other women' hater, until that is I came to the realisation that I was in an abusive relationship with a philandering, morally devoid bastard. I realised that no matter how many 'loose women' threw themselves at him (Hmm), they wouldn't have gotten anywhere if he kept it in his pants.

That's probably when I stopped blaming the other women (yes, plural, yes many).

Schmoopy · 01/10/2017 09:43

Actually girls like that have just been brought up in the same society, and assimilated the same misogynistic nonsense that married women are the harridan " 'er indoors"; "the missus" as the men who are hitting on them. And, clearly, many of the women who are posting on this thread...

They're exploring their sexuality and their ability to attract a man, because they've learnt that's the most important quality they posess.

And, in a game of survival against the fittest, maybe some of them feel that, if they are chosen over a wife, even for a night, that it might mean they hold some value.

I don't know.

I do know that I was brought up with some very unpleasant messages growing up and in my late teens/early 20s I held some shamefully misogynistic views about women. All learnt from my mother, so I'd never have guessed.

And on the many, many occasions I was hit on by married men I sneered at their jaded wives for being unable to keep their men happy. Because I just didn't have a clue.

ShirleyPhallus · 01/10/2017 09:45

The worst part is the awful grammar they both apparently used in the conversation.

'You was there' ?!?!

Exactly!

Schmoopy · 01/10/2017 09:47

Sorry, survival of the fittest.

I'm trying to do two things at once here!

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 01/10/2017 09:48

Great post Schmoopy!

shushpenfold · 01/10/2017 09:49

I've had a another woman offer herself to my dh when I was standing next to him. His face was a picture, especially as he'd already pointed me out to her. He was also mildly incredulous as he was dressed as a woman at the time, complete with 5 o'clock shadow and fake boobs. He makes an exceedingly unattractive woman.

He just pointed to me and said 'wife'. She walked off to do the same to another bloke.

Fauchelevent · 01/10/2017 09:50

If she was propositioning him she was badly behaved and had little respect towards you. I wouldn’t take it too deeply.

I’m definitely more astonished by the language on this thread.