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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think she has no self respect. Or respect for others for that matter

268 replies

Bippitybopityboo · 01/10/2017 03:04

DM runs a pub. DH occasionally helps out and does DJing at party's now and again.
He came in tonight and was laughing about a girl who was recently the barmaid at a hotel where we attended a wedding. DH told me about the conversation they had...

Girl: can you play some new chart stuff please?
DH: sure
Girl: I recognise you? You were at a wedding at hotel 2 weeks ago with your wife wasn't you.
DH: ohh yes was you there?
Girl: yes I work there. Your wife is really pretty.
Dh: haha thanks

Girl goes to dance, come back to ask for lots of songs repeatedly through the night.

Towards the end of the night
Girl: do you want to come back and finish the night with me and my friend?

DH declined.

How FUCKING RUDE!!

DH and DM are laughing saying she's just a silly little girl but I'm fuming!
She knows he's married as she complimented me in the night. Why would you offer a married man yourself on a plate. AIBU to think she has no self respect or respect for others especially fellow women.
I hope one day when she's settled down some little tramp throws themselves at her bloody husband! Angry

OP posts:
Shockers · 01/10/2017 08:39

This reminded me of the time DH (who is a singer) came home and told me about an attractive young woman who approached him, struck up a conversation, then took his hand and asked, " Is that a wedding ring?"
"Yes."
"Oh, that's a shame..." nods over at an older woman nearby, "My mum thinks you're lovely." Grin

He's also had a very well known actress hump his leg as he was singing at a party for the cast of the soap she used to be in.

It, unfortunately, goes with the job, and your husband handled it well.

Coconutspongexo · 01/10/2017 08:39

How is she a slag? Why are you all assuming she propositioned him for sex?

PerfectlyPooPoo · 01/10/2017 08:39

Ugh, woman trying to shag married man.

Double standards much? Why is being a total dick to another human being only OK on MN Confused

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 01/10/2017 08:40

Very good point Morris, I'd be very interested where @MNHQ stand on calling women slags, sluts etc. It really does reek of hate speech.

TheFirstMrsDV · 01/10/2017 08:42

Just off on a tangent, and no disrespect to the OP...but why are DJs hit on so often?

They stay in the same place all night so they are easy to find when drunk?

OH was a bouncer for years. I used to pop in to see him and he would have pissed women trying to rub against him.
I wasn't enraged. I didn't enjoy it but there was no point in getting angry.
If you work in that sort of environment you are around people who are off their heads and acting in a way that is unacceptable outside of that environment. I don't mean its ok in a club but its 'normal' nevertheless.

I worked in clubs and men hit on me all the time. You learn very quickly to brush it off. I would be pretty annoyed if my OH got angry every time a bloke made a vague attempt to pick me up.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 01/10/2017 08:42

dipping
Why do we all presume when a man asks a woman back it's for sex?
I'm a woman and I took it as she was propositioning him. We are all allowed our own presumptions.

MrsKoala · 01/10/2017 08:44

But they aren't married. It wouldn't be them being a dick to another person if the Dh did something. She offered. He said no. That's it. Using the word slag is deeply unpleasant.

shakeyourcaboose · 01/10/2017 08:45

Also agree @MNHQ should be taking a stance on the hate speech terminology, it's vile.

Coconutspongexo · 01/10/2017 08:46

I don't recall saying anything about men asking a woman back... I wouldn't assume it was for sex if it was to me.

LineysRun · 01/10/2017 08:50

I'm unhappy that MN is a place where posters can refer to women as 'slags' and 'sluts'. Seems like a pretty troubling ethos to me.

What happens when the hardcore misogynists pile in again from other sites? Will they be allowed the same latitude, too?

Grim.

Original poster
Bippitybopityboo · 01/10/2017 08:53

I don't seem to remember calling anyone a slag or slut, tramp maybe but not slag or slut
I also don't have an issue with her wanting to sleep with a stranger. Genuinely none of my business.
Its the fact that she acknowledged he was married and yet still behaved in that way.
It's rude and cheeky and I can't understand why some think that it's okay?
I also would think it rude if it was a man coming onto myself knowing I am married but that wasn't the situation so I don't see why it needs to be brought up.
People are missing the point of the issue being that she knowingly came onto a married man. Sorry that's not ok.

OP posts:
OhWellNeverMindEh · 01/10/2017 08:55

He is married. Another person, who is not their wife, asked him to ‘finish the night back at theirs’.

Doesn’t particularly matter what they meant, what age or gender they were, per se, it could very clearly be understood or misconstrued as something morally wrong.

The suggestion was there and for this reason I would be upset and angry if was the OP.

PerfectlyPooPoo · 01/10/2017 08:56

She knows he's married, she was being a dick.

As would a man who did the same.

Brittbugs80 · 01/10/2017 09:01

Could have been innocent.

Though I used to work with two 20 year olds who were single and they would purposely go for married men when they went out as they liked the challenge and found that often, the men would be interested and pay for their drinks for the rest of the night. The one used to say that men found it hard to say no to her!!

Personally I'd never go anywhere near a man who I knew was in a relationship but I know some people have different ideas as to what is acceptable.

ColossalKalamari · 01/10/2017 09:01

Some people seem to be thinking he's a proper dj, he seems to be a bloke playing some songs in a little pub somewhere. He's hardly playing clubs in Ibiza so the dj thing probably has fuck all to do with it

TheStoic · 01/10/2017 09:06

They stay in the same place all night so they are easy to find when drunk?

Grin
JemDoughnut · 01/10/2017 09:06

I used to invite randoms home with me and my mates every weekend at that age.

Didn't fuck a single one. Just liked to party.

If we invited the DJ back, it was for his music.

Wilburissomepig · 01/10/2017 09:06

Cheeky little bint. I'd be popping over to her workplace at busy Sunday lunch time and loudly but politely informing her that you'd appreciate if she did not solicit threesomes with married customers.

Don't be ridiculous, of course you wouldn't. You'd be acting like a dick.

My ex DH used to be a drummer in a reasonably well known band back in the 80's. Girls were always offering themselves on a plate to him (and the rest of the band), sometimes when I was there standing with him. Did I bother about it? Yes of course I did, I hated it but his reaction was what I was interested in, not theirs.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 01/10/2017 09:07

It's rude and cheeky and I can't understand why some think that it's okay?

It’s not okay; but it’s not unusual either. People don’t generally just respect the institution of marriage that much anymore. It’s the responsibility of the married person, be it you or him, to set good boundaries and make good choices.

You can be annoyed every time someone comes on him or you; but it won’t stop them. It’s not worth the energy really. He handled it well and he told you about it.

User843022 · 01/10/2017 09:08

'She hasn't done anything ffs she was being friendly. '
Exactly! just like Laura Simpson was 'being friendly' with Wayne Rooney Grin.

I'm with you op, she wasn't a slut or slag but you don't ask how someone's partner is, then in the next breath invite them home with you. Fwiw you don't sound like a misogynist or like your stealthy boasting either.

MrsKoala · 01/10/2017 09:09

Actually I think it's fine.

MrsKoala · 01/10/2017 09:10

Actually I think it's fine.

Coconutspongexo · 01/10/2017 09:10

I think Laura Simpson is a bit different to this don't you Hmm

Original poster
Bippitybopityboo · 01/10/2017 09:14

Why is it Dipping DH may not be Wayne Rooney but it's still an example of a woman knowingly trying it on with a married man.
She also claimed it to be all very innocent on This Morning however people didn't take too kindly to that.
I think it was a really good example Myrtle

OP posts:
User843022 · 01/10/2017 09:17

'I think Laura Simpson is a bit different to this don't you'
She is, Rooney actually left with her to 'carry on the party' or to 'be frindly' so yes, that situation is different..Confused.

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