To wonder why it's such a big deal to take children for dinner in the UK

[tinypop4]

Not originally from the UK- where I'm from it is totally normal to take children out in the eve.
Last night we had guests staying so we went for dinner at the local curry place. We took our dd who is almost 5 and our friends Dd who is almost 4. We went at 7pm, they behaved well- stayed at the table other than to go to the toilet, chatter, coloured, ate off the ordinary menu. They didn't shout, run around or cause any drama and we left at 9.15.
In the course of this 2 hours I had 4 different people telling me that it was 'very late for young children' 'they should be in bed' and one whispered loudly and in ear shot that it's 'cruel to have children out as late as 9pm'.

Now if they were over tired toddlers ,
Screaming, tantrumming etc I could understand if people might feel annoyed by their presence but in this case I didn't get it.

We were stared at a lot and were the only people out with children and despite having a nice calm evening, felt quite annoyed by the end. Why are children so unwelcome out in the evening here? Maybe I'm being unreasonable and children shouldn't come out in the evening but I think ta a shame

If I was taking my kids out on a Friday night I would take them somewhere a bit more family oriented. Maybe a Strada or Zizzi or Pizza Express.

Curry houses late on Fridays do tend to be a bit rowdy. Maybe nobody was being rowdy or swearing because your kids were there?

Yeah really. One couple. One elderly lady and another younger one. You don't have to believe it I don't really care!

I think it is more the convention in the UK for children to be put to bed early and for the evenings to be "adult time". I think particularly in a curry house on a Friday night people will be eating as part of a night out and might feel it a bit incongruous to see children there.

It does depend on the curry place, but often they're a bit like a pub on a Friday night. Lots of drinking etc.

Nothing wrong with taking children to dinner or out at 7 or out on a Friday or to a curry place. But certain curry places on a Friday night aren't the most child friendly. Obviously I have no idea what the restaurant you went to is like.

Unless they were being noisy and/ or naughty I can't believe you got all the comments you said. Even if people thought it, most British people wouldn't say anything.

Not all curry restaurants are inappropriate for kids, later on a friday night.

But some are packed with drunks. There is 2 I would not take kids to, on a friday night near here. They cater for people wanting cheap food and loads of beer or a curry after being out heavy drinking. Foods not amazing but cheap.

Tbh i dont go to those places without the kids either. There are plenty around here that are just normal restaurants. Mix of families, groups, couples and people of all ages. People arent hammered.

It depends on what sort of restaurant and who they tend to attract. Rather than just serving curry.

Most restaurants I go in don't usually have children in after around 7pm. I think this is sensible. Some places do and I avoid them. I don't want to go somewhere in the evening which is like a toddler groups tea party. And I agree with posters who say eating out later with children is more common where countries have a siesta.

Do you live in Walmington on Sea?

Never had negative comments but yeah a lot of people here do tend to feed kids dinner dead early. We never have largely because I don’t get in from work to even start cooking it until after 6.

I don't really like seeing young children in restaurants later than about 8pm. Not because I think it's cruel, but because my expectation is that they'll be overtired and misbehave by the end of the meal, and if I'm out at that time I want to enjoy some adult time.

Clearly the op made an effort to make sure the children were entertained and not bothering other diners. However far too often the children in a group like that will be put at one end of the table and left to their own devices, while the adults effectively ignore them.

We ate out quite a lot throughout their childhood years as we were away at conferences etc but with no negative comments. We did get comments about the size of the table and the likely cost because we had a large family but nothing to suggest they shouldn't be there. Hotels usually went out of their way to make the children feel special- The Randolph in Oxford called our little ones Mademoiselle and made special boiled eggs and soldiers for them, the Highcliffe in Bournemouth made amazing ice cream sundaes with spun sugar, off menu.
Never had any odd comments suggesting they shouldn't be there.

I genuinely had no idea that 7pm in a curry restaurant would be deemed inappropriate It's not. I've seen plenty of children in the Indian restaurant near us. Maybe not so much after 9pm but for a 7pm dinner, of course!

I wouldn't take my child out past her bedtime but it would not occur to me to judge someone else for doing so

Sounds odd.

We took DS out last month, age 2 to a restaurant, it was about 8pm when we arrived as we'd tried to go somewhere else but after waiting at an unsuitable table for half an hour and constantly being told 5mins we couldn't keep him waiting any longer so we went elsewhere.

The family on the next table commented on what a well behaved boy he was (despite him fairly obviously watching CBBC siliently on DHs phone) the lady said that didn't matter and he'd sat beautifully. Had made, wood fired Italian style pizza also helps😎

We usually try and take him out earlier to avoid 'serious' diners and because he usually eats at 6pm but we have always taken him out to restaurants, I try and avoid using the tablet but he's not quite got the point of colouring yet but he's getting there. He probably sits better in a restaurant than he does at home considering all the waiting around!

I have always taken my children out to eat. No one has ever made a comment to us. Unless they are paying for my meal they have no right to anyway! Just because I have children doesn't mean I can never eat out again!

Why wouldn't people believe OP? Just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it didn't happen.

And nothing wrong with going to a restaurant at 7 or later with young children. Ridiculous that people felt fit to comment.

I think you are perfectly ok. It isn't too late to take children out for a meal, they presumably don't go to bed late every night of the week; they are learning how to behave in public, being sociable etc.

Not a proper curry house then. Indian people will take their kids out for late dinners.

Really, we eat out with our kids on a weekly basis, since babies. I don't recognise your descrption. When babies we used to go early, hopefully asleep in their pram or the waiter would come take them for a walk or look in the kitchen.

4 people? Really?

Very strange. I wouldn't bat an eyelid, unless they children were noisy then I would be massively irritated.

I probably wouldn't say anything to you but I'd definately have judged you last night! It's purely selfish of the adults to be out eating at that time,primary aged children do not eat their evening meal at 7:30pm onwards as they need to go to sleep shortly after, you had them out that late to suit you not them.They would have been much happier going out to eat at 6pm and home by 8pm for bed. It's not the dining out with children my son is 15 months and eats out with us at least 3 times a week from the normal menu too (we often split an adults meal) it's the late hour,4 and 5 year olds aren't up until well past 9pm usually,well those with responsible parents.

I don't believe the OP at all. As long as children are well behaved then no one bats and eyelid. To have four people speak to you is unbelievable and generally people only comment directly to the parent to congratulate when a child is behaving.

I suppose that if children are regularly taken out to eat in the evening then they do learn to behave well. If it's a rare thing for them then they're likely to be overtired and misbehave.

I don't do this, we would go out for a meal at 7pm at the latest and go to a child friendly place like Pizza Hut or somewhere with a whacky warehouse. At more adult restaurants I would want adult time and arrange for a babysitter. Mainly so I can enjoy drinking Pinot in peace.

I have never had negative comments, but we do regularly receive compliments that our children are well behaved. They're not always angels so we plan for that with shit loads of toys and bring snacks or give them a tea at 5 so they are not trying to eat the table. We have a system of eating like ordering their meals the same time as adult starters. Ordering cold starters, so that meals can still be enjoyed or the opposite choosing something like a lasagne which is a volcano of molten cheese, which is still enjoyable if you can't eat straight away because you are cutting their food up or helping them with the fork etc.

The only reasons they are considered well behaved, is because they've always been in restaurants, so they know what is expected of them; and we never expect them to entertain themselves for two hours. All children will get fidgety for that length of time.

They would have been much happier going out to eat at 6pm and home by 8pm for bed

Really? You know my children do you? They were very happy as they are used to.m being up later at weekends!