To wonder why it's such a big deal to take children for dinner in the UK

[tinypop4]

Not originally from the UK- where I'm from it is totally normal to take children out in the eve.
Last night we had guests staying so we went for dinner at the local curry place. We took our dd who is almost 5 and our friends Dd who is almost 4. We went at 7pm, they behaved well- stayed at the table other than to go to the toilet, chatter, coloured, ate off the ordinary menu. They didn't shout, run around or cause any drama and we left at 9.15.
In the course of this 2 hours I had 4 different people telling me that it was 'very late for young children' 'they should be in bed' and one whispered loudly and in ear shot that it's 'cruel to have children out as late as 9pm'.

Now if they were over tired toddlers ,
Screaming, tantrumming etc I could understand if people might feel annoyed by their presence but in this case I didn't get it.

We were stared at a lot and were the only people out with children and despite having a nice calm evening, felt quite annoyed by the end. Why are children so unwelcome out in the evening here? Maybe I'm being unreasonable and children shouldn't come out in the evening but I think ta a shame

i blame brexit

Most people don't give a shit so long as the kids are well behaved. We couldn't do it as DS is in bed for 7pm as we have to leave the house by 7am, if he had a later bedtime he wouldn't get enough sleep. But if others do it i couldn't care less. I do think I'm much less tolerant of kids at dinner than at lunch though. If you go out for lunch some noise and mess from little kids is to be expected. If I go out for an expensive dinner I don't want it to be ruined by children shouting, crying, watching videos without headphones, toddlers coming and trying to grab stuff off my table, loud performance parenting etc. Are you sure your kids were quiet and well behaved?

I've had three separate comments made about something perfectly normal, never before or since but all on the same day! Some parts of the UK I've lived in wouldn't think twice about taking kids to dinner for a special occasion, but in others people had set ways and would have muttered about it.

Try Greek or Turkish places, always got kids in, no problem

different parts of the UK have set ways about what time children should be in restaurants?? really?

I've never had people tutting at my DCs being out in a restaurant. But then we don't take them out for meals later than 7pm. But if your children are well behaved then it's no one's business but yours.

But you say there were stares and whispers, I have to say I probably wouldn't hear them because I would be too focused on our own meal.

Are you sure your kids were quiet and well behaved?

In my opinion they were good. They had colouring and a Charlie and Lola's dominos game which they did when they weren't eating poppadoms or chicken korma! They didn't tantrum, cry or have any screens out.

Perhaps it was more general comments than criticism in some cases and I am being a bit over sensitive.

I only have our experience to go by, but going out for tea at 7 with my almost 7 year old would not end well. 😁

She's quite capable of behaving in a restaurant. We go out to eat regularly but 7 is too late for her. We'll occassionally go to fireworks etc which are late but sitting in a restaurant would be too much.

So I admit I'd probably think it was late for children. As long as they were behavoured I wouldn't care much though and I certainly wouldn't be so rude to say anything.

It happens more now but it didn't used to be the norm. All countries are different. So what?!

Agree with Saucy, the people commenting were probably the ones who had found babysitters for the evening in order to have a few drinks and not have to watch their conversation topics in front of little ears etc.

I suppose if you are out as two families there is a different dynamic though, although depending on the city I might worry the children would be exposed to some drunken behaviour etc when out and about at 9pm and it's not very usual to see very young children in restaurants at that time of night but if it works for you, don't worry about it.

Is it because it was a curry place on a Friday night? Not the normal for a quiet family meal...

Was it a pub/club type restaurant? A lot of people (not unreasonably) get annoyed at children in pubs that late (especially at weekends) because they're adult environments where people should be free to swear, dance and be a bit rowdy without getting daggers from parents.

If you were getting that many comments I would suspect you had picked a slightly inappropriate place for them to go.

Oh it was a curry house on a Friday. Yeah, maybe not the best idea for kids.

Yeah it was a curry place on a Friday night. Is that innapropriate? Where should we have gone then as pubs aren't appropriate as mentioned by others.
We left at 9.15 so plenty of time left for people to get rowdy if they wanted. I never asked anyone to change their conversation or behaviour anyway!

It's very rare for us to go out for dinner in the week as DS needs to be in bed for 9 ish otherwise he would be tired the next day for school I imagine it's the same for lots of UK DC. We dont have the tradition of siestas.

My Mum lived in Spain for a while and the kids up late can be a flaming pain. My Mum would be regularily woken at 1am by her next door's kids shouting up to her

I genuinely had no idea that 7pm in a curry restaurant would be deemed inappropriate.

It is a free country though, last time I noticed, unless it's an adult only restaurant. I don't take much notice of what's going on at other tables as long as they're not disturbing my meal out. I'm more likely to feel annoyed at people getting loud and obnoxious when drunk tbh.

I genuinely had no idea that 7pm in a curry restaurant would be deemed inappropriate it's not.I don't know why anyone would think it was

I once took my 5 year olds out for a walk after dinner (warm sunny evening 8.30) . A couple actually stopped us to say they should be in bed!

I think you must just have had a bad experience. I think it’s very unusual to have four strangers comment.

Margaret thinks so, perhaps she's not alone and it's the wrong setting!

I think it depends on what part of the country you are in. Never had any comments in London, but in the provinces have had looks, tuts and the occasional PA comment. We go out regularly and almost always have DD with us. I think it's good for kids to come along and be part of things as much as possible.
I love it in countries where kids just come along. We were in Argentina recently. Restaurants didnt open until 9pm. One Saturday, we booked a table for 9pm, turned up and it was empty. We thought we'd chosen a duff restaurant. By 10pm it was full of families with children of all ages. DD was sitting there with colouring books. None of the other children had anything like that. They were behaving really well, chatting with their parents and eating loads of steak! We left at past 11pm and families were still arriving. This was a good but fairly ordinary neighbourhood restaurant. Still, I expect there is some other aspect of life that people choose to use to judge others by unnecessarily.
Some people sometimes just like to hoik their judgy pants. Ignore!

"In the course of this 2 hours I had 4 different people telling me that it was 'very late for young children' 'they should be in bed' and one whispered loudly and in ear shot that it's 'cruel to have children out as late as 9pm'. "

4 different people? Unlucky.

Never had any comments in London, but in the provinces have had looks, tuts and the occasional PA comment

yeah those ignorant provincial oiks, eh. Not like cosmopolitan London

4 comments OP? Really?

I have two children in their teens & despite the ethnicity of the food & the time of night, have never received the level of negativity you have received.

Seriously struggling to believe this post