To wonder why it's such a big deal to take children for dinner in the UK

[tinypop4]

Not originally from the UK- where I'm from it is totally normal to take children out in the eve.
Last night we had guests staying so we went for dinner at the local curry place. We took our dd who is almost 5 and our friends Dd who is almost 4. We went at 7pm, they behaved well- stayed at the table other than to go to the toilet, chatter, coloured, ate off the ordinary menu. They didn't shout, run around or cause any drama and we left at 9.15.
In the course of this 2 hours I had 4 different people telling me that it was 'very late for young children' 'they should be in bed' and one whispered loudly and in ear shot that it's 'cruel to have children out as late as 9pm'.

Now if they were over tired toddlers ,
Screaming, tantrumming etc I could understand if people might feel annoyed by their presence but in this case I didn't get it.

We were stared at a lot and were the only people out with children and despite having a nice calm evening, felt quite annoyed by the end. Why are children so unwelcome out in the evening here? Maybe I'm being unreasonable and children shouldn't come out in the evening but I think ta a shame

British people don't like children very much. Look at their schools

WTF???

Never had a problem.We started eating out with her when she was very young but didn't go out in the evening until she could reliably sit at a table and behave,so about 5.This was mostly for celebrations or at weekends so staying up late a treat too but didn't affect school.
Wish more parents would teach their children to behave not run around in restaurants though.

They gave the 4 year the most incredible lobster risotto

😂😂😂😂

Strawberrygate - we had a similar experience in a Michelin star chef's pop up restaurant. DS1 was very early weaning - so we took a jar with us which they took great care to warm through (they came to check if they could warm it in a pasta pan!) and also brought him some steamed vegetable which they pushed through a sieve. We went near the end of lunch service, so one of the waiting staff asked if she could rock him in his pushchair, when he was ready for his nap, so we could have a coffee and pudding. It was the most relaxing lunch.

But it was nice suburban in fact, possibly better than what we had

I'm sure it was lovely, strawberry (if you're happy feeding your young child something that's been slowly boiled to death).

It just made me laugh.

primary aged children do not eat their evening meal at 7:30pm onwards as they need to go to sleep shortly after, you had them out that late to suit you not them.They would have been much happier going out to eat at 6pm and home by 8pm for bed.

Paahhhaahaahaa.

What a fucking ridiculous thing to say.

OP, I think and hope you just had the bad luck to go to a restaurant with a cats-bum-mouth and judgemental clientele, rather than it being a seriously British cultural thing.

I just think more people should mind their own business tbh. Who cares if there are a few children being well behaved in a curry house in the evening? If we were next to you and you let your children come over and disturb our meal then that would be different, but I'm not sure why so many people feel the need to comment on other people's parenting decisions when it's having no impact on anyone else.

(if you're happy feeding your young child something that's been slowly boiled to death) they're usually despatched with a knife to the back of the head before being cooked.

"British people don't like children very much. Look at their schools." What a ridiculous statement! How offensive. Imagine if anyone made that statement about any other nationality!

I don't see an issue with kids being out late (and 9.15 is late for children aged 3 and 4 - or almost 4 and almost 5) but it's none of my business if parents think it is OK. And I expect my own kids have been out equally late at times.

Certainly behaviour is an issue, if naughty, but here the kids sound very well behaved. So i really think people should keep their views to themselves. But I don't think you can blame British people for the views of a small number of dinners.

We usually only eat out when away from home and go early, around 6-6.30, as the children are used to eating early and the restaurant will be quieter. Now they're 6 and 4 it's getting easier and they will do colouring or drawing while waiting. I wish they liked curry though!

DS keeps begging for a later bedtime (currently between 7.30 and 8pm) but there is a limit to how late he can stay up on school nights. We also like to have a bit of peace and quiet after they've gone to bed.

they're usually despatched with a knife to the back of the head before being cooked.

Oh that's loads better

I’d much rather a few quiet children crayoning than loud drunk groups of blokes thinking the whole restaurant needs to hear their witty tales about lying to women to get them in the sack, as we had last time we went for a meal!

In the course of this 2 hours I had 4 different people telling me that it was 'very late for young children' 'they should be in bed' and one whispered loudly and in ear shot that it's 'cruel to have children out as late as 9pm'

I'm also struggling with how unlucky is was to have four different people comment.

We eat with our young DC at this time from time to time and haven't had a single comment.

What time do Spanish children start school if they finish at 5pm and are up eating supper at 10pm?

Is it not because they have a siesta?

They tend to have a long lunch break where they come home.

I’ll be honest and say I’ve never taken my 4yr old to a curry restaurant at 7-9pm.
We take ds out to eat at about 6 usually and leave about 7:30. We eat out quite a bit and he’s well behaved.
Some eating places don’t feel very family friendly to me after about 8ish - it’s not at all like the Mediterranean countries where kids are up till 10 and I am not sorry about that.

915 isn't late and of the children are behaving themselves I can't see the problem.
I do feel uncomfortable having children out during an 'adult evening' though and if they were arriving at 9 or in a pub I'd be a bit miffed because I would feel like I have to be on my best behaviour because there were children around. Not that I behave in an out of control manner normally I just don't like drinking around children.

It's odd for 4 different people to be so rude and comment about it and I can only imagine it must be the place itself. Maybe it was usual to see kids after 7pm in that particular curry house but it's not unusual in terms of the whole of GB. Especially not in the city where kids may be on holiday etc.

It would only be a holiday or special occasion that I would take children that age out for dinner after 7pm personally but my toddlers eat at 4pm and are both in bed by 7pm so it's late for us It's none of my business what others do.

SuburbanRhonda I hope you're a vegan or a vegetarian otherwise you're being a massive hypocrite.

I used to get complimented that mine are "proper" food and used cutlery when I took them out when they were small. I think the UK is odd when it comes to societal expectations

We have eaten out a lot as a family of 7. I don't think we have ever had a single comment from fellow diners. DS1 is 25, so that's a lot of years and a lot of meals out.

We would not be out as late as 9, unless unavoidable due to travelling. More likely 6.30/7 until 8pm.

Depending on the place, I think that it can be a bit awkward to have children there when it is late. If I was going out with just DH, I wouldn't be particularly happy at being next to a big family group. I think that my kids were reasonably well-behaved in restaurants I've lost any bad memories but it was carnage by the time we left. I imagine our conversation was a few decibels above a "date night" range.

I would always try to pick an appropriate time, and an appropriate place. We are not the centre of the universe.

DH and I used to go to a local café quite often, and carried on when DD came along. One day we walked in to the cafe and there was only one other group of people sitting around a table. As we came through the door one of the men looked at baby DD and said, loudly and dramatically: "oh no!". It was only them and us at the cafe, so there was no doubt what he meant, he kept looking at us and looked really put out. DD was quiet (dozing off) throughout.

Clearly he was horrified to see a baby in a cafe at 11am It was a well dressed, otherwise well spoken, English group. But this man felt entitled to assume, judge, and pass comment loudly enough for us to hear.

So it does happen - let's face it, there are rude people in all countries and all walks of life! The owner (male from the middle East if that makes a difference) was mortified and went out of his way to accommodate us and DD. But I must admit the man's rudeness puts me off going back

absolutely fine. You had an early booking so really the people making comments are odd and very rude.

Now, if you'd been out at 11 on a school night I could see their point.

These are the same type of people who go to bed at 8 every night because the children go to bed at 6 and get up at 5.30. Never understood that - put the kids to bed later or at least don't complain about it (my old neighbours).