To wonder why it's such a big deal to take children for dinner in the UK

[tinypop4]

Not originally from the UK- where I'm from it is totally normal to take children out in the eve.
Last night we had guests staying so we went for dinner at the local curry place. We took our dd who is almost 5 and our friends Dd who is almost 4. We went at 7pm, they behaved well- stayed at the table other than to go to the toilet, chatter, coloured, ate off the ordinary menu. They didn't shout, run around or cause any drama and we left at 9.15.
In the course of this 2 hours I had 4 different people telling me that it was 'very late for young children' 'they should be in bed' and one whispered loudly and in ear shot that it's 'cruel to have children out as late as 9pm'.

Now if they were over tired toddlers ,
Screaming, tantrumming etc I could understand if people might feel annoyed by their presence but in this case I didn't get it.

We were stared at a lot and were the only people out with children and despite having a nice calm evening, felt quite annoyed by the end. Why are children so unwelcome out in the evening here? Maybe I'm being unreasonable and children shouldn't come out in the evening but I think ta a shame

Ooops completely wrong thread!

I'm sure there was nothing wrong Op with what you did, it's just that it's not the absolute norm here and people aren't very good with coping with things slightly out of the ordinary.

For you trying to understand the British view - as lots have said, many kids eat very early and are in bed for 7ish. The British like their evening without kids - whether that is without their own, or without others kids too.
Re liking restaurants without kids, part if this is just part of liking time without children full stop, and part is about experience of poorly behaved children in restaurants at all times of the day. People understandably do t like children running round or being loud at any time of day, but especially in the evening when they feel more entitled to time without it. If your kids were not annoying or loud, they weren't guilty of the latter......simply of being children. And as I say, lots of people do t want to see any children after 8pm. It is a different attitude to elsewhere.

We Brits should also look to understand others - that not everyone wants the kids fed at 5 or out of the way for 7. Lots of people enjoy a meal with their kids into the evening. There's nothing wrong with it and most if the time it has no effect on us. However, the problem is that everyone has experienced some noisy small kids in a restaurant and so people's hearts sink when they arrive and see some already there. Great if they have a btter experience with yours, but the problem is that their experience in the last hasn't always been good.

TBH, if going out on Fri night and looking through 2 restaurant Windows - one with kids in there and one without, I would probably go for the one without. Your kids might be perfectly behaved and they shouldn't be tarred with the brush of the badly behaved ones, but the reality is that they are, but also that many adults here DO like time without kids.

You however, should continue as you wish. Your kids are well behaved and if restaurants are happy to receive them, you are as entitled to be there as anyone. Perhaps their behaviour will change a few views. It is rude of people to comment.....but I do understand that it is simply cultural for lots of people to want an adult-only space I'm the evening.

I think that some people object to children at restaurants in an evening due to the badly behaved ones that everyone has experienced.

One time Dp and I were trying to enjoy a valentines meal at a nice restaurant whilst a child from the next table stood at our table clinging onto our table whilst the parents did nothing. In the end we asked to move tables because we had two young children clinging to/ leaning onto our table whilst the parents did nothing.

Experiences like these make peoples hearts sink a little bit when children walk into a restaurant in an evening. Obviously if yours were well behaved then there wasn't a problem.

Oh tinybop, I am so sorry that after feeling quite down about all those negative comments that you clearly had (because why on earth would anyone take their time to embellish a story on mumsnet?)

We take our children out frequently and had this sort of comment loads when they were little. It is awful. We are good parents who liked to eat out with our children and socialise with them! Many would make comments that they must be tired! They were perhaps but tiredness won't kill them. In fact, now they are older they are much better at adapting with their timings than many friend's children who didn't do this.

Sorry that starting this post probably made you feel worse than before you wrote it as you have received further comments from people who think you are lying??!! (WTF)

You probably bumped into my PIL, they're big enough cunts to comment as well .

And Worra's comment reminded me that we were in a similar situation and they told my DP he's selfish for wanting to see his son during the week.

Like I said, cunts.