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Original poster

Scan at 10am.. I want to take DC out of school.

254 replies

Pinkflamingo121318 · 27/09/2017 11:27

Basically that.. would I be unreasonable to take them out for a couple of hours, then straight to school from the hospital.

DC are 4 and 5.
I want to take them with me for the scan.. it's the sexing scan and I'd love for them to be there.

It is 10am so they'd be back at school by 11:30 at the latest.

This will be our last baby and can't afford to have a 4D one during a half term.

OP posts:
Mamabear4180 · 27/09/2017 14:18

No I wouldn't take them

dyathinkso · 27/09/2017 14:20

"A sexing scan"

Uhhhhhh it just sounds like a horrible name

EverythingWillBeGreat · 27/09/2017 14:23

Fwiw I remember clearly when I had my two that the advice at the time WAS to take your dcs to the scan so that the idea of having a new sibling would be clearer, to make them involve and help them bond with the new sibling.
I actually was more or less told off by fellow mums because I had NOT taken Dc1 with me. I didn't see the point as he was less than 16 months old at the time!

So my first reaction is NOT that it's a crazy idea.

But yes about getting a orvaute scan. There are plenty of places that propose that and it doesn't have to be a 4d scan at all.
I would shop around rather than just ask the hospital.

GrouchyKiwi · 27/09/2017 14:26

OP, I had to take my 4 & 2 year olds with me to my 3rd baby's 20 week scan because my childcare fell through (friend got sick & I had no one else at short notice). It was miserable; both children were bored and it made it very difficult for both the sonographer and me.

In the event I had to get another one because she couldn't see all of the spine, and thankfully I managed to offload the children for that one.

I definitely wouldn't recommend it.

Kipi · 27/09/2017 14:27

AnUtterIdiot There are better ways to push someone onto another course of action than to try to stress them out with horror stories. I'd think anyone who unloaded tales of birth defects or death onto a pregnant person, without trying a different tack first at least, to be a person to be avoided at all costs. It would be a horrible and completely unnecessary thing to do.

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 27/09/2017 14:28

It's not a sexting scan.
I know this is just a typo, but I love the idea of a sexting scan. I feel fully qualified to perform one too.

[Scans texts]"Oh, a dick pic... yup, this is definitely sexting."

Kipi, I think a lot of people, me included, are frustrated and slightly worried by the seemingly increasing tendency to treat pregnancy as a constant public performance and a child's biological sex as MASSIVELY IMPORTANT, as if it tells you anything really about a child other than what shape of genitals they have. And it does the NHS no favours to have so many people apparently think that scans exist as a sort of lovely treat for them rather than as diagnostic procedures. It makes NHS staff's lives harder that people come in with this view, so yes, I find it a problem.

EverythingWillBeGreat · 27/09/2017 14:29

Oh and I work closely with one of those company who offer private scans.
People do come with the whole family, incl small children, to have the scan done. It's pretty par of the course.
And yes sometimes the sonographer picks up issues, even if those women are also followed on the NHS. For example when they come to know the sex at 18 weeks BEFORE having their 20 weeks scan. It's extremely unusual though...

Very clearly people are coming just for that. To know the sex of the baby.
The sonographer always has a different vision and also checks for all abnormalities.
If there is any issues and they need to talk to the parents, they dites find a way to do so wo the children being around (dad stays outside with the dcs, the receptionist keeps an eye in them etc etc).
I'm not sure how this is working on the NHS but there certainly are way around that too.

Crunchymum · 27/09/2017 14:29

At least the OP didn't call it a gender scan!!!!!!!!

EverythingWillBeGreat · 27/09/2017 14:31

kipi I agree and would add that many people are reading those threads, incl women who are already very worried about their pregnancy (whatever the reason).
I'm not sure what is the point there to insist so much on the risks (that are still very low, even if, I appreciate, it doesn't feel that way for people who have gone through that) and completely scare people off like this.

NameChangeFamousFolk · 27/09/2017 14:32

Another huge 'No' from me OP, and I'm all in favour of including in kids in lots of things.

It is a real factor that OTHER parents may be there, being given terribly sad news and kids running around for a 'day out' is so inappropriate.

Do something more kid-level. A toy, a cake, a balloon...whatever. Deliver the news appropriately for THEM. Or you know, just tell them.

beepbeeprichie · 27/09/2017 14:36

You really don't know the purpose of the 20 weeks scan even although you already have 2 children?

GoldenBlue · 27/09/2017 14:48

At 20w scan we discovered our beloved baby had a condition 'not compatible with life' and couldn't survive outside of the womb, which as you can imagine was devastating.

It was horrendous and having a child with me would have been catastrophic.

Also the waiting room for people having scans that may be bad news is the same one as you'll be sat in. Imagine waiting to find out if you've lost a baby whilst other people's kids lark about Sad

Please don't take children to scans.

FlakeBook · 27/09/2017 14:52

I took dc to scans due to lack of any other option. DH couldn't come and I really wouldn't have been able to go if I hadn't taken them.

Some hospitals allow them in, some don't. Although what they expect people to do with them if they don't have anyone to leave them with is beyond me.

FlakeBook · 27/09/2017 14:54

I wouldn't take them if any other option though. Having had a scan where baby had died, it would have been just beyond horrendous had my children been at that one. I wouldn't take them unless there is no other option

AccrualIntentions · 27/09/2017 15:05

@Kipi it's not all about the risks though it's about the fact it's a medical procedure. I wouldn't take my child out of school to come along to a smear test - not because I think I'll be likely to be given bad news about cervical cancer, but because it's a medical appointment with a medical professional, not a day out for all the family.

Hillarious · 27/09/2017 15:09

Does anyone ever wait until the baby is born to find out the sex these days? When I had DC3, I didn't know the sex of the baby until it was handed to me.

Strokethefurrywall · 27/09/2017 15:12

Goodness me, this thread has everything to get the masses frothing.

Removing kids from school during the school day = check;
Referring to a scan as a "sexing" scan = check

It's almost as if the OP was aiming for gold with this post...

Kipi · 27/09/2017 15:17

While I see your point and I agree about school aged children, as a mum of four with a self employed dp who worked 16hr days/6 or 6.5 days a week, I took my kids to all manner of appointments due to having no support outside the two of us. They have been to my smear appointments (nurse took me to side room, obviously I informed the kids that they were just looking at my tummy) dentist appointments (often more than just check ups) bank, shopping, hair cuts ... you name it - they came with!
And they are much better behaved than others you see, with it being normal to us but I'm mighty glad my youngest just went into reception Grin

gillybeanz · 27/09/2017 15:18

Ha Ha, there aren't half some daft parents Grin

Kipi · 27/09/2017 15:22

It's just occurred to me that I'm sure we took Ds1 to my scan with dd, but he was a six month old in a rock a tot car seat so they allowed it. Then we took him to the 20wk and they asked dp to stay outside with him but then let them both in when the important checks had been made.
I never found out the sex with any of my kids and I was in the distinct minority. I think I'm the only one out of my friendship group.

stopbeingadramallama · 27/09/2017 15:36

This is bloody ridiculous Hmm

KellyMarieTunstall2 · 27/09/2017 15:38

Don't take the kids out of school to an NHS scan. Once you've had the scan, ask if its possible to have a picture. Then later you can surprise your kids in whichever way you fancy. They will be excited. Good luck

GreenPetal94 · 27/09/2017 15:45

No, have you thought what happens in a scan when there is a problem with the baby. Believe me it is terrible and you would hate for your kids to be there.

FloraAnnie · 27/09/2017 16:08

Kipi, yes, I would strongly advice a friend IRL against taking a child to the 20 week scan. At our 20 week scan, I was scanned, then had to wait for 40 mins till a consultant became available to be present at a second scan, then we were given bad news and the consultant discussed whether we wanted to terminate at 21 weeks. I think we were at the hospital for 4 hours that day. The thought of that happening with a 5 year old and a 4 year old present is horrific.

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 27/09/2017 16:10

I don't really understand the idea that pregnant women should be protected from the knowledge that scans sometimes diagnose serious abnormalities or foetal death. The information you get handed out about scans basically tells you that. Everyone SHOULD know that. I'm pregnant right now and haven't had my 20 week scan yet, and I've managed to cope with people relating their experiences in this thread without collapsing.

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