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AIBU?

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Original poster

Scan at 10am.. I want to take DC out of school.

254 replies

Pinkflamingo121318 · 27/09/2017 11:27

Basically that.. would I be unreasonable to take them out for a couple of hours, then straight to school from the hospital.

DC are 4 and 5.
I want to take them with me for the scan.. it's the sexing scan and I'd love for them to be there.

It is 10am so they'd be back at school by 11:30 at the latest.

This will be our last baby and can't afford to have a 4D one during a half term.

OP posts:
Anatidae · 28/09/2017 13:57

The sonographers haven't been at all bothered by the presence of my kids

No sonographer is going to say anything, because anyone who works with the general public in the NHS knows that's a one way ticket to at best a gobful of abuse and at worst getting belted.

Op is going to take her kids anyway so she can have a 'making memories' moment regardless of the potential consequences

Witsender · 28/09/2017 14:17

You're assuming the kids go near the expensive equipment. Mine sit on a chair in the corner and watch. The sonographer (had the same one the last few times) has chatted to them, greeted them happily, shown them things on screen, explained stuff, printed off photos of little feet etc. I'm sure that were they poorly behaved kids their reception would have been very different, but in that case I would be unlikely to take them.

As I said previously, kids being there isn't that unusual at our hospital, so that probably goes some way to explaining their reactions.

ApplesTheHare · 28/09/2017 14:22

I'm amazed at the number of people against the idea of taking children to scans. Our local hospital is happy for people to take them as long as they wait outside with an adult until the baby has been seen to be ok, which seems totally sensible and appropriate.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 28/09/2017 14:31

I remember my letter saying you couldn't bring children which must be pretty hard if you have no childcare.
If your trust allows it op I imagine it is so as not to put people of attending if they have no childcare for their other children. Rather than them suggesting you should bring them. If you do decide to though I would definitely have them wait outside with an adult until they have checked that all is well.

Lemons1571 · 28/09/2017 14:41

Our 5 and 2 year olds came to the anomaly scan of DS3 as we had no childcare. Wasn't ideal to be honest, bit chaotic.

Not much choice though - we have no one who is willing to take kids overnight and we had to leave at 6am to get there for a 7.20am scan. the hospital has a policy of only offering one day/time for an anomaly scan. patients are forbidden to phone up and see if there are any other slots, it's a one time offer and if you can't make it then you don't get an anomaly scan.

So there were a lot of toddlers in the waiting room!

This was 8 years ago, wonder if the ridiculous policy's changed now.

AccrualIntentions · 28/09/2017 14:56

I wish my hospital would ban children from appointments then I'd have a fighting chance of being guaranteed a seat in the waiting room. Obviously I understand people can have problems with childcare, but when the mum, the dad, the grandma and numerous others are all there? No, fuck off.

Coconutspongexo · 28/09/2017 17:05

To those saying they had to take their children due to childcare issues, that is completely different to the OPs situation. There is no reason for her other two children to be there

balsamicbarbara · 28/09/2017 17:09

Took ours, it was a beautiful family moment. Ignore all these whingey worrywarts and make some memories.

Branleuse · 28/09/2017 17:17

except it could be really awful memories. Massively stupid to encourage it.

Wolfiefan · 28/09/2017 17:21

This whingey worrywart had a mmc. Hopefully the OP will have a lovely result. But some of us have shit ones. It's stupid to say taking kids along is making bloody memories. Boak.

balsamicbarbara · 28/09/2017 17:22

It's not like they burst out screaming "Oh lordy the baby is messed up, panic stations!". Midwifes and sonographers wrap bad news in enough polite language that the impact would go over most 4 year old's heads. And if there is something significantly wrong that it'd give a child bad memories, they're going to still get them at home when you tell them later anyway - well unless you hide stuff like this from children which I think is wrong.

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 28/09/2017 17:24

Your children have no business at an important diagnostic procedure and the NHS doesn't do it to give you beautiful family moments. Book a private scan of you want to "make some memories".

Coconutspongexo · 28/09/2017 17:24

Hiding stuff like miscarriages etc from 4 & 5 year olds is not wrongHmm

AccrualIntentions · 28/09/2017 17:27

If you want to "make memories" you should pay for it, imo. It's not what the NHS is for.

Wolfiefan · 28/09/2017 17:39

I wouldn't hide stuff from my kids. But neither do I want them there at the point at which I could recurve devastating words. I don't want to be trying to control my reactions or be unable to ask certain questions as my kids are in the room.

MiniCooperLover · 28/09/2017 17:59

God no, really inappropriate sorry

TabbyMumz · 28/09/2017 18:04

If it's NHS, there is no such thing as a sexing scan. Scans take place to ensure there is nothing wrong with you or the baby. Totally inappropriate to take them, it's distracting for the sonographer who is trying to do their job.

Nanny0gg · 28/09/2017 21:12

You clearly haven't RTFT, have you balsamicbarbara?

Such empathy...

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 28/09/2017 21:47

Unfortunately my friend had a bad scan and her DD was there Sad . I always remember that and it must have been such an awful moment

Witchend · 28/09/2017 21:55

I've had bad news at a scan.
The moment where they said "I'm just going to get the consultant to come and have a look" is heart stopping.

I can't imagine it would be helped by "daddy why are you crying" "mummy I'm bored, can we go home" etc as you're trying in a shell shocked condition to take in important information.

And they won't miss not going if you don't suggest it.

BakedBeans47 · 28/09/2017 22:09

Not a sensible thing to do OP. It’s a medical appointment not a family day out. Taking children when you have no one to look after them is one thing taking them out of school to go is not sensible. Just tell them the sex when they get home.

RyanStartedTheFire · 29/09/2017 08:07

It's not like they burst out screaming "Oh lordy the baby is messed up, panic stations!".

What the fuck is wrong with you? What a disgusting thing to say.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 29/09/2017 09:10

We had a private scan

I am assuming the two little ones were there as both my dad and dhs mum were there as well, so not quite the same thing

My children were very little and it wasn't for them...it was just that the sonographer said we could have who we liked and i thought the parents would like it

Having said all that if it had been a bad scan it would have been dreadful, so with the benefit of hindsight i agree with many others...i woudnt do it

janinlondon · 29/09/2017 09:14

No. Just no. If you had ever had to remove the children from a scanning room in order for the parents to be told that the pregnancy is no longer viable you would know how awful this is.

ememem84 · 29/09/2017 09:46

My hospital wouldn't allow it. No one under 16 in the scanning room. They make it clear as well that there will be no one to look after children.

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