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AIBU?

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Original poster

Scan at 10am.. I want to take DC out of school.

254 replies

Pinkflamingo121318 · 27/09/2017 11:27

Basically that.. would I be unreasonable to take them out for a couple of hours, then straight to school from the hospital.

DC are 4 and 5.
I want to take them with me for the scan.. it's the sexing scan and I'd love for them to be there.

It is 10am so they'd be back at school by 11:30 at the latest.

This will be our last baby and can't afford to have a 4D one during a half term.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 27/09/2017 12:50

Please tell me you've seen sense and decided not to do this.

Mummyoftwo91 · 27/09/2017 12:51

Have to agree and say don't take them, why not bake some cupcakes or a cake with the sponge the colour of the sex of the baby, so when they get home you can all have a nice little moment and surprise them

Dahlietta · 27/09/2017 12:52

I know this isn't the point of the thread but this gender reveal thing is ludicrous. For a start the baby is of one sex or the other.

While the OP does have its ridiculous elements, the word 'gender' does not feature in it once.

2ndSopranos · 27/09/2017 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shadow666 · 27/09/2017 12:54

I agree with doing a gender reveal cake instead. At 4 and 5 they would really love that!

Miserylovescompany2 · 27/09/2017 12:56

Is it normal to receive a scan date when you are currently 12wks + days? I'm sure mine was sent only a week or so prior to the actual date of 20 wk scan.

I agree with pp - it's an anomaly scan - not appropriate for children. Unfortunately, many parents-to-be leave in a distressed state after anomalies are found.

flumpybear · 27/09/2017 12:57

God no! It's an anomaly scan, what if there are problems or you have to wait around for ages - send them to school and take your husband - tell them later and show them a picture

HaHaHmm · 27/09/2017 12:57

Fuck no. It isn't a sexing scan. It is an anomaly scan. Please please do not take them.

MarthasHarbour · 27/09/2017 12:59

We had to take DS to our 20 week anomaly scan as we had no alternative childcare. In hindsight i wish we had tried a bit harder.

We found out that our baby had a terminal illness in utero. He had so many anomalies that he had no chance. He died a week later Sad

We had to spend 2 hours in a side room whilst all kinds of HCPs came in and had so many distressing discussions. Such as booking in my induction and how they were going to terminate the pregnancy (he died spontaneously a few days later)

Seriously FFS, even then we knew it wasnt a 'sexing scan' (i hate that terminology). You seem to be so fixated on this (posting that you have 58 days to find out the sex Hmm )

Don't do it. Your DCs will find out the gender when they get home. Teach them to be more patient, they will meet their sibling in 6 months. My DS managed it when we eventually (after several MCs and the aforementioned stillbirth) had another DS (and we all even managed to wait until he was born to find out the sex).

HaHaHmm · 27/09/2017 13:00

So sorry for your loss, Martha Flowers

MarthasHarbour · 27/09/2017 13:01

What i meant to say was that we had to entertain our 3yo DS in this side room whilst all these distressing discussions were taking place. He was upset and remembers it to this day Sad

As i say, we wish we had tried harder to get childcare, but even so we knew the real purpose of the scan.

MarthasHarbour · 27/09/2017 13:02

HaHaHmm thank you lovely Flowers it was 5 years ago and time heals but it was a very distressing time for all Flowers

GrapesAreMyJam · 27/09/2017 13:03

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ElizabethShaw · 27/09/2017 13:06

We took DS (6) to a £40 gender scan in mothercare in the school holidays. He'd lost interest after 5 minutes anyway!

Bluelonerose · 27/09/2017 13:11

I must say this thread has opened my eyes. I wouldn't of thought of not taking my dc to a scan (If they were available)
Ds1 did come to my scan with dd but he wasn't even 1 and he slept through it all.
They were both in school when I was scanned with ds2.

Op after reading what pp have said I would agree not to take them just in case it isn't plain sailing.

MrsRhubarb · 27/09/2017 13:12

No, I wouldn't. I took DD (3) to my 20 week scan as DH was coming too and we had no alternative childcare. If she had been at nursery/school or even a grandparent available to have her she wouldn't have come. I'm all for including existing DC in a pregnancy, but not if you're having to change circumstances to make it fit. Enjoy finding out with your DH and then the joy of telling your children together.

Baby might not even let you find out anyway.

PoppyPopcorn · 27/09/2017 13:14

OP gets a Star for posting a thread in AIBU where everyone is in agreement that yes, she is being completely unreasonable.

AccrualIntentions · 27/09/2017 13:15

I don't think it's appropriate to take them. It's a medical appointment, to potentially identify anomalies or problems with the baby. It's not "look at the pretty pictures on the screen".

However looking around the ultrasound waiting room whenever I'm there, I seem to be in the minority in that view. People bring their kids, their extended family, they bring snacks ffs.

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 27/09/2017 13:16

My hospital makes it absolutely explicit in the appointment letters that children are not to be brought to the scans - to the extent that if you arrived with child and partner they would ask you to come in alone. I thought that this was standard?

I don't know what they would do if you turned up alone with one or more children, of course.

paperandpaint · 27/09/2017 13:17

I'm so sorry Marthas.

We found out that our DS had a lump in his lung at our scan. It was (and still is) a very frightening time.

FreezerBird · 27/09/2017 13:18

Both my 20 week scans ended with DH and and I in the foetal medicine unit so the obstetrician could explain the multiple anomalies they'd found and refer us on.

I'm glad DS wan't there for the second one (the first one being him, obvs). He'd have learned some interesting language for a three-and-a-half year old, anyway.

LaurieMarlow · 27/09/2017 13:20

Apart from anything else, my memory of the anomaly scan is that it's very boring and technical. And that DH and I hadn't got a clue what was going on and couldn't recognise anything we saw.

There's so little they'd get out of it, you'd be foolish to take them.

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 27/09/2017 13:21

Is it normal to receive a scan date when you are currently 12wks + days?

My 20-week scan was booked at my 12-week scan appt, so yes, I knew the date for it when I was only 12+4.

On top of the myriad reasons it is a bad idea to take children to a scan in the first place, including that it's a hospital full of expensive, delicate equipment and that the sonographer needs to concentrate, I would take a very dim view of taking children out of school for this were I a teacher.

HeebieJeebies456 · 27/09/2017 13:22

Sexing scan

On a different note......if this is going to be your last child - why not let it be a surprise? Smile

RolyRocks · 27/09/2017 13:26

Oh to have the 'pregnancy bliss' of assuming everything will go smoothly. As someone who had a missed miscarriage picked up at the anomaly scan after having had a pretty straightforward first pregnancy, OP please don't take your DCs to the anomoly scan face palms at sexing scan

I'm still not sure if the OP is still going ahead with this...

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